A Different Kind of Pain
By JayEm

… is someone there to hold you?

Chapter One
When the world falls away…

God, he was so tired.

Couldn’t give up now though, they were too close. From the moment the Orii plague had reached the outside of the mountain, Daniel had known the likelihood of seeing his lover again was remote; even more remote when the Pentagon had been decimated to the point Major General Vidrine was now the ranking officer of the mostly hidden armed forces.

No one seemed to know where Jack was, if he’d died quietly elsewhere or had been taken by one of the priors for some unknown reason. Daniel hoped that Jack, like most of the SGC and surviving military, had gone underground hoping to regroup and find a way to fight the Orii.

So much had changed in only nine months. With over half the population dead of the original plague, and even more in the attack that followed, even Earth had been ripe for the line of bull the priors offered, the only hope to a world suddenly slung back into a dark age that no longer supported much of its technology. A world where desperation had left many clinging to Origin like the last life preserver on the proverbial sinking ship, regardless of previous beliefs.

Those who refused to conform were killed, sometimes by family or friends more afraid of the Orii than the damnation implied by their former beliefs. The world population was estimated at less than a third of what it had been prior, pun so not intended, to the Orii incursion. There was no electricity, very little refined gasoline, and it wasn’t as if anyone would take the risk of being seen driving a car if there had. That was a sure path to a quick beating or worse.

The SGC had been safe for a while. They’d evacuated a lot of people to the alpha site, families of personnel were brought in discretely, their disappearances explained in as many different ways they could think of; there were a lot of empty graves in Colorado Springs including one for Daniel. The Orii were far too interested in him for some reason and Landry figured arranging for Daniel’s ‘death’ was the best way to keep him safe.

They’d contacted all their allies to little result. No one could defeat the Orii, not even the Asgard. The Ancients, damn them, had done nothing. Sometimes Daniel could imagine them in that whacked out cosmic diner, reading the Ascended Times to see what was happening all over the Milky Way galaxy and nodding sagely at each report, like dispassionate Monday morning quarterbacks winning the game in theory long after time was up. If they cared at all.

Landry, bless his bushy eyebrows, had held out until the very last minute, he and Lam were the last two to leave. Carter had, against her desires, gone to the alpha site too. Daniel and Landry helped convince her that she and Doctor Lee were the best chance they had at eventually defeating the Orii in some way or another. Sam had cried and said Daniel was too, but he didn’t believe that. He also didn’t believe the party line of living to fight another day. Not when half his life was still out there, fate unknown.

He’d talked Landry into letting him stay to push the button on the charges placed on the eighteenth level, the ones that sealed off the secret of the Stargate. The escape hatches had been filled with concrete, the elevator shafts blown to hell. No one was getting in from the surface, no one except Daniel that was. There was an Asgard transportation device hidden away in the woods around the mountain, in a place only Daniel, and Jack if he still lived, would know.

Two years ago:

“Jack? What the hell are you up to?”

A nibble on the back of his neck told Daniel that his lover was feeling no pain. The post-promotion party had gotten past the polite stage several hours before and the newly minted general was flying high on the strength of five Jack Daniels and Cokes in rapid succession. He was also very horny and had dragged the only slightly tipsy, and therefore still protesting, object of his horniness to the top of Cheyenne Mountain.

“You’ll see… “ Jack did that thing he did behind Daniel’s ear and suddenly the protests seemed to die away into the night.

Trying not to rush his lover, Daniel followed closely as Jack led him through the trees and brush deep into the forest. While Daniel had spent more than a little time on the mountain, he’d never come this far out before. Jack on the other hand seemed to be guided by more than his obvious lust. Like a well aimed missile, he drew them deeper into the trees toward a rocky granite overhang that looked almost like a …

“A cave?”

Jack nodded, the glow from his flashlight skipping across the rock in a like a drunken sprite.

“Yep.” Jack grabbed Daniel’s hand and pulled him toward the entrance. “And this one comes…. furnished.”

Furnished was a bit of an overstatement, but Daniel definitely agreed with Jack’s intent. And his ingenuity. The back wall of the cave was lined with blankets, in front of that was an air mattress draped in fleece blankets and a dozen pillows. Beside the mattress was an old Coke crate with candles, wine, and snacks. It was perfect.

“How the heck…?”

Jack grinned self-consciously. “When I was trying to make the decision on whether to accept this promotion or not, I came up here for a walk. I walked a lot.” Drawing Daniel further into the cave, Jack pulled another blanket down to cover the entrance then moved to light the candles. “I wasn’t sure how I felt about flying a desk. Not going out with the team anymore. Trusting someone else to take care of you.” Jack shrugged apologetically, knowing Daniel hated any implication that he couldn’t take care of himself.

“It’s funny, or not, I guess. But finding this place helped me realize that being ‘the man’ might not be so bad. This mountain is more than just the SGC, more than what’s out there. It’s me, it’s you, it’s this world. Everything we’ve fought so hard for. And if, once in a while, we can slip away from the reality of what’s inside this mountain and get back in touch with what’s really important… then it’s all good, isn’t it?”

Daniel just smiled, watching the man he loved more than life itself as if seeing him again for the first time. Reaching out a hand to draw Jack to him, Daniel leaned in for a kiss then pulled them both toward the mattress.

“Yes, Jack, it is all good…”

Back in the present

And it was all good. If he could go back and know what he did now, Daniel knew he would have lain awake that night memorizing the perfection of every moment. Jack, he could map with his eyes, his ears, his mouth, his hands. Daniel didn’t think he’d ever forget just where Jack liked to be touched, where he was most sensitive, that small patch of skin below his breast where a certain kind of kiss could take his breath away.

Daniel’s breath caught at the memory, drawing the attention of his companions.

“Okay?” Vala asked softly, closely followed by Mitchell’s, “Daniel?”

Shaking his head, Daniel tried to muster a smile for the two unlikely friends who had refused to let him make this trek alone. Despite their shaky beginnings and Vala’s persistent attentions, she had come back into their lives a much different woman than the one who had shot first and kissed later aboard the Prometheus so long ago. Her time among the Alterans had left shadows in her eyes, experiences both harrowing and appalling had finished the job of opening her heart that had begun when she’d tried and failed to help the natives on PPPPPP and in the alkesh above PPPPPP.  Vala had learned to live beyond her own pain, her own self interests, and was a much nicer, albeit still incredibly inventive, person for it.

Not that she hadn’t before, but Vala now hated the Orii with all the strength of will she had once applied to lining her intergalactic bank account and trying to get Daniel into bed. She still came out with the most outrageous suggestions at the most inconvenient times, but they both understood it was all façade now. Light-hearted banter to help ease the pain sometimes, to help make the unknown of their new lives a bit more bearable.

Mitchell had his own reasons for being along on this trip, not the least of which was the death of his mother in the first wave of the Orii plague. He and Daniel had grown close over the long months of hiding out in the mountain to the point he’d even made a pass at Daniel one long lonely night while they sat in the dark hoping to avoid the Orii ship scanning the countryside trying to find them. Luckily, all the priors knew was that Earth had a stargate, not its location.

It was that night Daniel had almost been tempted, so starved for the touch of his lover, so lonely and alone in not knowing if Jack was even still alive. But in the end, he’d gently refused the other man and told him the truth. That the only man in the world for him was Jack O’Neill and there was no way Daniel could even think about betraying their love if there was even a chance Jack was still alive. They’d held each other that night, Mitchell taking what he could get and offering the solace of touch and companionship in lieu of the wild monkey sex he jokingly said he would have preferred.  

Daniel had a feeling the man was waiting in the wings to pick up the pieces if Jack was dead, and a rarely acknowledged part of him was counting on that fact, but mostly he tried not to think about the possibility and worked at not taking advantage of the other man’s feelings.

“Just thinking,” Daniel explained quietly, he knew he didn’t have to elaborate.

Vala moved closer, wrapping her blanket around him while Mitchell came to his other side and wrapped an arm around both of them.

“We’re going to find him, Daniel. If he’s still alive, we will find him.”

Daniel could only nod, needing to believe.

Accepting the shared warmth, both physical and spiritual, of his friends, Daniel watched the horizon, waiting for the dawn light to appear and show them what was left of Washington DC.

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