Title: Counting the Dead
Date: June 21, 2001
Status: Complete
Author: Jmas
Category: Drama, angst
Rating: PG-13, language
Email: jmasg1@bellsouth.net
Disclaimer: Characters are property of MGM, etc.
Spoilers: Watergate, bare mentions of FiaD, Enemy Within, First
Commandment, Crossroads, The Light, Rules of Engagement
Author's note: Another of the promised missing scene/tags.
Thanks to Brenda, my lovely beta, and Kaz for the ‘OK’ that
this notion wasn’t too close to one of her own.
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned in this story are the
property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I,
the Goa’uld and all other characters who have appeared
in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles
and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide
Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret
Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This
fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights
and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the
story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the
author.
Counting the Dead
By Jmas
A simple thing….
A simple, final duty to these latest of lives lost to the
Stargate.
It was simple.
But Daniel couldn’t help but wonder when he’d
actually gotten used to it. These people, largely scientists
like himself, had died senselessly and - from the expressions
on their terrified faces – horribly. Yet all Daniel could
seem to do for them now was to count their dogtags, check off
their names on his list, then move on.
Daniel remembered finding the bodies on Hanka, the horror
and panic of the macabre discovery; now though, three years
and too many similar situations later, it had become easier.
The horror was still there, just displaced to some nether region
of his soul to be released later in the form of nightmares
when he could no longer avoid sleep. He knew better than most
how ghosts walked at night.
His ghosts, for he owned them all….
Sha’re, Kawalski, Frakes, Hanson, Connor, SG11, SG5,
Shan’auc, so many others….all his. All because
he’d opened the gate and set into motion events that
still yet echoed on in all their lives. Names and faces tallied
up over the years, never forgotten, that lived in his dreams
on dark lonely nights and reminded him exactly who was at fault.
Shivering at the many vivid memories, Daniel noted Teal’c’s
tense back leaning over to retrieve another set of tags, marking
off yet another name to the tally of the dead. Daniel hunched
his shoulders inside his coat and moved on to the next body
~*~
Jack couldn’t shake the feeling he’d fought the
entire day, a pervasive cold and damp that had much more to
do with the presence of death than the Siberian atmosphere.
God, he hated the cold….
Since nearly freezing to death in Antarctica, he’d dreaded
the numbing tightness winter always seemed to bring. Jack couldn’t
imagine living and working in a place like this – a place
of perpetual ice and snow with no lasting warmth to ease the
soul.
And less warmth now than ever before….
Something really bad had happened, something bad enough to
convince the commander of the base that killing his own people
was a better choice than continuing to fight.
Jack shivered again, musing that it was perhaps a hopeful
sign that, after so many years in the company of death, he
could still feel the chill dread of its nearness. He liked
to think it was a sign his soul was still redeemable.
Teal’c and Daniel had been gone just over an hour, surely
time enough to….
It bothered Jack on a level he didn’t care to examine
that Daniel had calmly accepted the gruesome task of counting
the dead. For all Jack had once hoped that Daniel would toughen
up, he wasn’t sure he was comfortable getting this particular
wish granted.
~*~
Daniel ached all over, the return trip though the stargate
had not gone nearly as smoothly as the trip in. They’d
hit the ramp pretty hard - not a new experience and not nearly
his worst landing, but hard enough to bruise. Sam wasn’t
much better off, though she’d been lucky enough to hit
on softer parts of her anatomy than he had.
Maybourne was secured in another area of the plane; none of
them had wanted to share sleeping space with the man who’d
caused them so much grief…and was now officially a traitor
to his country.
The crew of the plane had provided blankets and pillows, which
didn’t exactly alleviate the hardness of the seats but
did make them more bearable for sleeping.
‘Not that I’m in a hurry to sleep…’
As tired as he was, the memories of the dead were far too
clear in his mind for him to want to rest. The soreness helped,
keeping him from sinking into the exhaustion that had claimed
his teammates hours earlier. They were still hours out from
Alaska where yet another plane would take them on to Colorado.
Maybourne would be traveling on to the Federal stockade to
await trial.
The stars were clouded in the misty trails left by their passing,
the world was ghostly grey and seemed appropriate to his mood.
The dimly lit cabin showed him the huddled forms of his friends…so
still as to worry him, though he knew they were okay. More
ghosts to walk this night, a night of regrets and uneasy spirits.
~*~
The restless movements of the man across the aisle from him
disturbed Jack’s attempts to rest. Not that he was having
much luck at it himself. He felt as if the past day or so had
cast him in a replay of the Night of the Living Dead. Frozen
Maybournes and regurgitated alien water were a little far out
there in his experience - and he’d seen some decidedly
odd things in the past four years. Didn’t make them any
easier to swallow - or forget.
He’d known Daniel wasn’t as okay with the body
count as he’d let on. In a way, it heartened Jack. It
meant Daniel was still Daniel. Still able to touch his soul
and walk away untainted. To Jack, it was a good thing. Hell,
better than good; it was great.
So to speak….
Jack sat up slowly and looked over, Daniel’s eyes were
staring unfocused out the window, more miles away than Siberia
or Colorado, Jack was sure. Most of Daniel’s ghosts resided
much further away.
“Daniel?”
Shadowed eyes slowly returned from whatever nightmare images
he’d been treating himself to, blinking heavily as his
mind completed the journey and brought him back to the here
and now.
“Jack? You okay?”
With a nod, Jack slid over and jumped the aisle, settling
himself into the seat next to Daniel, blankets and all.
“Too wired to sleep, I guess,” Jack half-lied,
digging a deck of cards out of the pack under his seat. “Care
to play?”
A suspicious look danced over Daniel’s face, weighing
the truth against the need not to sleep. “You feeling
lucky?”
Jack grinned suddenly, thinking about ghosts and death and
the souls they touched, the souls still able to remember them
with honor and regret.
“Yeah, damn lucky….”
*fin*
