Chapter 5
And how am I to face the odds
Of man's bedevilment and God's?
I, a stranger and afraid
In a world I never made.
~ A.E. Housman
~*~
Daniel’s soul was being ripped apart.
Heat and ice warred for control, racing from his temples
to his gut. Tearing and rending a path of dissolution through
his body until he felt he was about to implode and scatter
like a sandstorm, battering at the ragged edges of his unity
and stretching the keen lines into threads of uncertainty.
Less and less of ‘Daniel’ remained, the rest flying
off with the coarse wind and leaving him barely anchored to
the body that seemed further and further away…
Unfocused energy drew him back, turning him into the discordant
wind and pulling him gently ‘down’ into the heaviness
that was his body. Yet it was more than just his body. Something – else – held
him in place. Something familiar and comfortable and almost…
“Jack!”
Opening his eyes and pushing his body upward quickly, Daniel
felt himself scatter. Vision wavered into multi-hued shimmers
of color without substance, and he felt nearly - gone.
Until a hand on his shoulder brought everything back into
focus.
“Whoa, there…stay still, Daniel.”
The hand pushed him back against the hard ground and something
warm was tucked around his shoulders. Pink fleece? Worried
brown eyes frowned down at him from just within his clear field
of vision.
“Jack?” Daniel’s voice croaked on the last
consonant so he tried again. “Jack?”
“Yeah, buddy?”
“We’re okay?”
A laugh. “Yeah, we’re okay. Are you okay?”
Daniel thought a moment, felt a vague emptiness, a tendency
to drift if he forgot to concentrate, and a myriad of aches
in places he couldn’t quite identify.
“Sure, fine.” Daniel closed his eyes against
sudden dizziness.
“Uh huh…” Jack’s wry tone almost
made Daniel smile.
At least, he wanted to smile, but the simple muscular
exercise seemed beyond his current abilities. It felt like
it was taking all his fragile energy just to be here,
like if he let his attention wander he would be lost beyond
recall…
The warm pressure of Jack’s hand tightened as if sensing
Daniel’s tenuous state. The firm grip was like a lifeline.
Daniel opened his eyes again. “What…?”
Jack smiled again, settling on the ground beside Daniel. “What
happened? Klorel zapped you with his glow light, I got in the
middle of it, Klorel went down for the count, Teal’c
and Carter took out the jaffa, and we headed for the hills…”
Daniel nodded, vaguely remembering the green light and the
wrenching feeling it had caused before he had stopped feeling
anything at all.
“Safe?” His voice was barely a whisper, but he
couldn’t seem to muster the energy for more.
Jack nodded, looking around at the damp walls glowing in
the firelight. “For now, but Klorel won’t stay
dead for long. We can rest for a while, but they’ll be
looking for us.”
Nodding slightly, Daniel closed his eyes even as the thought
crossed his mind that Klorel would be pretty thoroughly pissed
about Jack killing him again. As he drifted toward sleep, Daniel
felt Jack’s hand relax.
The dissolution nagged at the edges of his reality….
Daniel tried to open his eyes, but could see nothing but
swirling colors, could feel nothing at all….
Then the hand was back.
And so was Daniel, sinking into sleep with the vague concern
something very strange was going on with Jack.
~*~
There was something really weird going on with Daniel….
Jack couldn’t quite put his finger on the problem,
but he knew it in his gut.
Staring down at the pale face surrounded by Carter’s
fluffy pink bathrobe, Jack sighed tiredly. Daniel looked like
he’d gone ten rounds with Tyson. Dark blotches had settled
into the hollows of his eyes and cheekbones and he seemed almost
incorporeal, as if a stiff wind might blow away the outer shell
and reveal nothing left beneath.
An icy chill settled over Jack at the thought - that was
exactly what it felt like.
It was cold in the cave, even with the fire, and Jack shivered.
He was tired – weary to his bones – but reluctant
to leave his post. He felt as if he had to be here, had to
keep Daniel here.
Antaeus’ hand on his arm dragged Jack out of his reverie.
Sympathetic eyes glittered in the dim light as Antaeus moved
his hand over Jack’s at Daniel’s shoulder.
“You watch him well,” the Nox stated softly.
“Of course I do, “Jack nodded. “He’s
my…”
“Friend? Yes. Perhaps more than that now.” Antaeus
smiled in that cryptic Nox way Jack generally found more than
a little irritating. It was just as annoying as ever, but Jack
sensed a deeper meaning under the words and an understanding
of the strange thoughts running through his brain.
“What did Klorel do to us?” Jack wondered at
his own words. Not Daniel, ’us.’ As Antaeus looked
down at Daniel sadly, Jack sighed. “I’m not going
to like this, am I?”
Antaeus shook his head sadly. “Lya and I felt the device
begin to sever Daniel’s essence - his soul - from his
body. We were failing when you…”
A toppling gesture of the hand told Jack when they were failing;
when he had killed Klorel - snapping his neck using the technique
Teal’c had shown him after Jack had seen him use it on
Zipacna - and had fallen into the middle of the beam. After
that things had gotten all muddled up. Jack knew better than
to say the words; he had no desire to cause more pain to the
gentle Nox man who had so recently lost his son and father
- a situation Jack could more than empathize with. A rush of
emotion caught Jack by surprise as he remembered Nefreyu’s
infectious, innocent probing of the humans and their ways.
Antaeus’ hand tightened on Jack’s before the
emotions could overpower him. Sad eyes gave and accepted the
comfort both needed but could not voice.
“So what is going on with...?” Jack gestured
at their joined hands, at the man beneath them.
“We cannot be certain yet, our energies are very weak…” Antaeus
looked worriedly toward Lya who almost glowed in translucent
paleness as she slept curled near the fire. Antaeus sighed,
eyes focused inward in concentration. “We felt the separation
begin. We tried to shield him. You came and something …else … happened.”
Antaeus’ low voice seemed to act as a focus, drawing
Jack down into himself, into a place rarely visited and often
denied. Jack knew this place though he preferred not to dwell
on the things that resided here. The darkness met the light
at jagged angles, some had grown softer edges through time
and a hard-won acceptance of the things he had done in his
life - the good and the bad - that made him who he was now.
It was almost comforting to see the differences from the last
time he had visited here.
Slowly he became aware of another presence - an essence somewhat
brighter than his own but just as weighed down by the storms
life had thrown its way. A weak, flickering thing that seemed
almost to ‘fit’ and yet seemed unable to completely
join with his own. Warmth surrounded Jack when he probed a
little closer. A familiar warmth that bore a name…
Daniel.
With a wrenching gasp, Jack was back in the cave, his hand
still enveloped by Antaeus’ where they rested together
on Daniel’s shoulder. Jack drew several shuddering breaths,
letting his eyes question the Nox who looked back at him so
wearily.
Antaeus nodded. “He is with you now.”
~*~
Teal’c stood night watch as the others slept, periodically
pacing to the entrance of the cavern to listen intently for
any disturbances in the night that might signal trouble approaching.
At the moment he stood near his friends. Major Carter dozed
on the opposite side of the fire near the Nox couple. Daniel
Jackson was still bundled in the pink night robe and slept
deeply, oblivious to the fact his head was now pillowed on
O’Neill’s lap.
Teal’c had heard O’Neill speaking to Antaeus
and understood Klorel’s device had done far more than
simply deplete Daniel Jackson’s energy. From the Nox
man’s words, Teal’c surmised O’Neill’s
increasing reluctance to stray from the younger man’s
side was due to that as yet undefined connection.
Teal’c’s features softened as his gaze skimmed
once again over his two teammates; O’Neill’s hand
lightly resting on Daniel Jackson’s neck in a familiar
gesture which would have seemed almost intimate save for the
aura of fierce protection surrounding the pair. Antaeus had
said some portion of Daniel Jackson was ‘with’ O’Neill,
a responsibility the older man seemed to be taking most seriously
- as he always did.
O’Neill in the role of guardian was not at all surprising
to Teal’c; his commander had always been concerned for
Daniel Jackson’s well-being in ways both subtle and obvious.
Ways that were often, surprisingly, accepted by Daniel Jackson
with varying degrees of discomfort, irritation and affectionate
tolerance as he accepted them from few others in his life.
Over time Teal’c had watched amusement often displace
irritation, at least in some cases, even as O’Neill had
come to accept that the younger man was more and more capable
of protecting himself physically.
That Daniel Jackson would confine himself to his physical
limitations was rather more in doubt, and showed little sign
of changing, but years of growth and combined experience had
brought them all to an understanding of each other’s
idiosyncrasies and patterns as well as strategies to support
and assist one another.
Looking once again at the sleeping pair, Teal’c noted
pale, bare toes peeking out from beneath the pink night robe.
Leaning down, he carefully pulled the cloth over Daniel Jackson’s
feet, the practical part of him noting they would have to devise
some sort of footwear for the younger man. Rising once again
to his feet, Teal’c smiled fondly at the two men who
were his closest friends. They would be fine.
Together they would make certain of it.
~*~
Antaeus lay in the near darkness watching the humans sleep.
Lya was warm and still in his arms, her surface thoughts vaguely
troubled but not so much as to disturb her sleep. Antaeus tightened
his hold slightly, letting his mind lightly skim her dreams
as much as he dared without waking her. The practice had become
a means of protection throughout their lives together and neither
viewed it as an intrusion. Lya dreamt of Daniel during Skaara’s
Triad.
Upon her return, Lya had shared her experience on Tollana,
and Antaeus knew the many painful memories that had been brought
up there for Daniel and Skaara. Through Lya’s eyes, Antaeus
had seen Daniel’s pain and care when Lya had fallen on
the way to the ion cannon. He had seen O’Neill’s
concern for both Daniel and Skaara throughout the emotionally
draining Triad. He had borne witness to Teal’c’s
quiet determination they would not all die as a consequence
of the Tollan’s confidence in ‘their way’,
as well as Lya’s burgeoning consideration that the Nox
way might not always be the best way. Lya had justified her
actions to the humans with a very fragile logic and had wanted
so badly for Antaeus to understand her reasoning. He believed
he did, but as yet he was unable to completely justify the
Tau’ri way either.
Klorel was dead, albeit temporarily, through an act of aggression.
Yet the act had saved their lives. So many of the Nox were
dead because of Klorel. Yet Antaeus found it difficult to justify
death and violence as a solution even in the interests of self-preservation.
Generations of peace had taught him to abhor violence. Yet
his son was dead.
A single night had shaken the foundations of all Antaeus
had believed throughout his long life.
Antaeus sighed and pulled Lya closer as he closed his eyes.
There was too much to be done tomorrow for him to be lying
awake in the night questioning his beliefs. The new day would
bring many challenges, not the least of which would be exploring
the depths to which O’Neill and Daniel were joined; an
undertaking that would require the deepest form of concentration
they knew. Antaeus hoped he could still his own confusion and
be equal to the task.
With a shuddering sigh, Antaeus slipped into sleep finally,
wishing his father were still with them; the elder’s
pragmatic wisdom would have helped settle the disquiet in Antaeus’ soul.
Chapter 6
Come to the edge
He said. They said: We are afraid.
Come to the edge
He said. They came.
He pushed them, and
they flew...
~Guillaume Apollinaire
~*~
Klorel awoke screaming the despised name.
“O’Neill!”
The jaffa surrounding the sarcophagus edged backward in reaction.
This echo of the past, his former host’s pitiful voice
upon awakening after O’Neill had killed him, was less
than nothing in comparison to the raw strength of this new
voice, this new body. His jaffa now feared their god not only
for his goa’uld power, but also the vessel in which he
was contained. The satisfaction of that knowledge drew Klorel
out of the sarcophagus to stride regally before them all, eyes
glowing with renewed strength as he dismissed them.
Standing alone at the observation port and looking out over
the Nox world now under his control, Klorel remembered his
previous death by O’Neill’s hand. It had been much
slower - and far more painful as control had slipped away to
the tone of the boy’s irritating voice bidding a weak
farewell.
Hatred had been born that day, for O’Neill who had
killed him, and for Daniel Jackson whose life had proven more
valuable to O’Neill than the boy’s.
Skaara’s memories had been full of his ‘brother,’ of
nights spent in long conversation full of laughter with expressive
hands flying almost as fast as his tongue as he shared stories
of the Tau’ri, Abydos and other wonders beyond Skaara’s
pitiful experience. If O’Neill was Skaara’s hero,
Daniel was his god; though not a god such as Ra to be held
in reverence through fear and power. Daniel had been revered
for his kindness and gentle nature, held above all others for
his weaknesses, and Skaara had gladly let go of life for Daniel.
“Foolish child.”
Watching O’Neill and Daniel during the Triad had only
served to add to an already extreme hunger to see the pair
suffer in ways he had already spent much time imagining. Their
arguments had been weak, based on emotion so evident on their
faces he had been sickened by it even as he was fascinated
by their apparent ability to meld their separate strengths
into one. That was when Klorel had realized the best means
to destroy one was to harm the other.
Klorel stretched languidly and smiled. When O’Neill
had interfered, Daniel had been very near separation. Perhaps
he was already dead – or so near to it as to make no
difference. Klorel laughed coldly at the thought of Daniel’s
admittedly intelligent-looking eyes staring into space, his
mind no longer in stubborn residence. The thought was more
than pleasing. Klorel wanted to see it. More, he wanted to
watch it fade while O’Neill looked on helplessly - before
he died as well, screaming to Klorel for mercy.
Then he would revive them and do it again
~*~
Sam woke slowly, at first only aware of the damp, musty smell
of the air around her. Memory returned in a rush and she opened
her eyes to the dimness of the cave. The fire was burning dully,
but grey light now filtered around the passageway from the
cave mouth.
Teal’c was standing watch with his back to the main
cavern; his head was cocked in the listening attitude Sam had
come to know so well. Teal’c’s hearing, enhanced
as so many of his senses were by his symbiote, was much better
than any of theirs; if something approached their haven, they
would have ample warning.
Sam sat up slowly, brushing the detritus of the cave floor
from her clothes and hair. While hardly a stranger to sleeping
on the ground in unusual places, she had never quite realized
how much she could miss the contents of a daypack. Watching
bits of debris fall from her blonde fringe, she sighed. She
felt grungy and not a little hungry. She honestly couldn’t
remember the last time she had eaten well. They’d barely
begun to recover a sense of equilibrium from their previous
mission, much less any sort of appetite or strength when the
image of Lya had lured them here.
Sam looked over at the Nox couple, looking more than anything
like a pair of Tolkien’s creations – fragile, mysterious.
She smiled; even Tolkien could not have envisioned people such
as the Nox. Sighing at the memory of a snippet from childhood,
Sam could only hope Daniel’s faith in them would shortly
be proven.
‘He is with you now.’
The words shuddered through her mind with just as much chilling
force as they had the night before.
Looking over at her friends now, Sam smiled fondly. The colonel
was huddled against the cave wall, slumped partly over Daniel’s
head where it rested across his lap. The colonel’s hand
lay lightly on Daniel’s cheek in a gesture equally tender
and possessive, the simple pose expressing a statement and
a promise. A statement of friendship hard-won and well kept,
a promise of protection and support in whatever might come
in the hours ahead.
Stretching stiffly, Sam let her gaze linger on the two a
moment longer. Four years ago, watching the two men square
off over practically everything, she had honestly believed
SG1 was doomed to failure. The colonel had made no secret of
his feelings about everything from terminally stubborn, overly
intellectual archaeologist-linguists, to scientist-officers
who just happened to be female. She had been so sure it would
never work out, that eventually the science would be lost under
the military shadow, and Colonel ‘Just-the-facts’ O’Neill
would eventually find a reason not to put up with the secondary
agendas she and Daniel so often pushed for.
What she, and probably the colonel, had not expected was
Daniel’s persistence, a persistence that found a sympathetic
ear with the President himself. Missions had been expanded
and new discoveries were now being made on an almost daily
basis on so many fronts. They had yet to gain enough technological
advancements to suit some higher-ups, but overall the SGC was
now widely considered - among those who knew of its existence
- the great hope for humanity against the goa’uld threat,
Senator Kinsey and his ilk notwithstanding.
Sam sighed again and moved to the rear of the cavern, slipping
into a small niche she designated appropriately private enough
to serve as latrine facilities. She nearly laughed at the dry
moss she found stacked beside a shallow pit. Evidently Teal’c
had been busy, as well as characteristically considerate, in
the night. Sam took care of her most immediate need while wishing
for water, a uniform and food, in that order. The Nox would
know of native food plants and hopefully there would be a water
source nearby, as they had no means to carry any to the cave.
She amended her wish to include one of the packs back on Klorel’s
ship: ration bars, canteens, toiletries, a medkit, all of which
they could really use right now.
They would never have survived their last mission without
them…
Those harrowing days were still fresh in her memory. The
smells, the sounds, even the taste of the last energy bar they
had split between them, knowing it might be the last meal they
ever shared. Words had been unnecessary, but of course the
colonel had made a lame joke while Daniel smiled, Teal’c
had exercised his eyebrow, and Sam had shaken her head at the
surreal normality of the situation. They could just as easily
have been sitting at their favorite table at O’Malleys
- pre-armband days as they were presently barred from the premises
- kicking back after a stressful run of duty, and introducing
Teal’c to yet another of their favorite Tau’ri
taste treats. If not for the dark circles under all their eyes
and the forced cheer as each played their parts to comfort
the others even as they recognized they might finally have
encountered a situation they could not beat as a team.
But they had.
Together.
Pushing one another to new limits of endurance through sheer
tenacity and the stubborn refusal to give up and let the team
down, they had made it. And Sam had to believe they would keep
tapping the strength that made them such a great team to get
through this as well.
~*~
Lya felt the echoes in her mind long before she opened her
eyes. The determination emanating from Teal’c and Major
Carter was palpable and most encouraging. That strength would
assuredly be put to the test over the next hours.
Lya rose gingerly, trying to be cautious and not wake Antaeus.
She had been subliminally aware of his restless thoughts in
the night, of his concern for her and for their world, and
for the two men still sleeping nearby. Antaeus needed to rest,
to regain his strength and balance for the trial still to come.
Willing the stiffness from her body as she stretched, Lya
wished she could journey into the forest. They had been imprisoned
on Klorel’s ship for many days, and before that time
there had been no opportunity to seek out the balance she so
often found in the solitude of their world.
Now more than ever she needed peace.
Klorel’s dampening device still disrupted her inner
harmony, though it seemed somewhat better. Perhaps some measure
of protection was provided deep in the cave. She was thankful
for the clarity of focus and thought this morning had brought,
whatever its source, a clarity that allowed her to share Antaeus’ memory
of the previous night. She could see the pathways he had followed
into O’Neill’s mind where another personality formed
a crossroads, parallel yet separate save in that one fragile
place where it anchored itself tenuously to O’Neill’s
strength. Each road bore its own unique landmarks, yet often
converged and traveled smoothly in tandem and meeting much
more often than they divided over time with the deeper splits
coming nearer the present, before returning together quite
recently to run strongly once again.
Sensing the pair behind her, Lya asked without turning, “You
have faced a test of your bonds.”
Major Carter’s voice sounded as dubious as it usually
did when faced with things beyond her comfortable understanding. “Yeah,
I guess so. We just got back from a pretty tough mission before….”
Lya turned to meet two sets of eyes; Teal’c’s
were dark and respectful as always, accepting of things he
could not completely explain, Major Carter’s were dark
with shadowed layers of emotion and doubt. It had been a difficult
test indeed. “You are concerned?”
Major Carter nodded, hands making a gesture encompassing
the cave, Lya herself, Antaeus and the other two sleepers.
After a moment she made a small, frustrated sound. “What
do we do?”
“What we can.”
~*~
General George Hammond slapped a fist against the glass of
the observation window overlooking the Stargate and rounded
on the assembled technicians and the members of SG2 and 3. “I
do not want to hear this, gentlemen.”
Sergeant Siler nodded shortly, his lean face a study in understated
frustration. “I understand that, sir. None of us do.
But the Nox gate is blocked - and we cannot get through.”
Hammond sighed, pausing a few seconds to clamp down on his
irritation at their helplessness. “I know. So, what are
our options at this point?”
Major Hank Griff scrubbed a hand over his rough, stubbled
chin. None of them had taken much of a break since discovering
SG1’s hurriedly typed message explaining only that they
were responding to an emergency summons to aid the Nox. Surveillance
tapes had shown them exactly how SG1 had responded: two members
in shirtsleeves, one of those shoeless, and one in pajamas
and a bathrobe. They had at least taken packs and weapons before
disappearing through a Stargate that had seemed to activate
entirely on its own. The tape had seemed to indicate SG1 saw
someone and spoke to them, but there was no sign of anyone
or anything on the tape but the members of SG1. Hammond prayed
this was more of the Nox ‘magic’ and not the trap
his bones screamed it had to be.
“Not sure we have many, sir. The Tollan?”
Major Feretti nodded agreement. “The Asgard or Tok’ra,
too, sir. There are a lot of folks out there with reason to
be grateful to SG1. Surely one of them can help?”
Hammond sighed, not quite as certain any level of gratitude
could be counted on to translate into assistance as his admirably
loyal officers seemed to be. “It’s worth a try.
Sergeant Davis?”
The white-haired technical sergeant stood, nodded with an, “I’m
on it, sir,” before disappearing down the steps to the
control room, followed closely by Sergeant Siler.
Hammond allowed himself a small smile. He had good people
under his command, no question. Looking around at those remaining
in the room, Hammond nodded dismissal. “For now, I guess
we have to wait.”
Griff and Feretti bristled, trading almost identical looks
of frustration but just as quickly realizing the futility of
further protest. Twin “yes, sirs’ acknowledged
they were not the only ones frustrated before they herded their
respective teams out of the room.
Hammond nodded to himself. Damn good people under him. He
found his gaze wandering back toward the Stargate again as
he realized four of the best of his people were out there on
their own after a mission that made the recent Replicator crisis
look like a Sunday social. They had barely had time to catch
their collective breaths, much less recover any measure of
strength, before this mysterious summons by the Nox.
Hammond remembered the haggard, shadow-eyed team stumbling
through the gate and falling to their knees in a group huddle
that had scared every SF on gate duty at the time - not to
mention Hammond and the command crew in the ops booth. They
had been half starved, physically and mentally exhausted. Doctor
Fraiser had been in a veritable state over their conditions,
lining them up across the infirmary and proceeding with nearly
identical treatments in an assembly line fashion composed of
the four protesting members of his premier team.
He and Fraiser had caught on quickly to the game of ‘life
is back to normal’ and played along, watching as the
shadows receded a little and they had all finally drifted into
a drugged sleep. Fraiser had kept them two more days and reported
privately that the nightmares had come later. After the first
night, Teal’c had recovered with Junior’s help
and taken up night guard, watching over his friends as always,
protecting even their dreams.
Hammond sighed. In their own unique - and highly individual
- ways, the members of SG1 had each earned a special place
in his heart. They exemplified the best of what SGC had to
offer, the best humanity had to offer, and took that excellence
through the Stargate on a regular basis to form some of the
strongest alliances and friendships Earth had. Sometimes their
methods were questionable, in some cases downright confusing,
and nearly always highly worrisome to their commanding officer,
but they worked.
Smiling, Hammond recalled his conversation with a planet-bound
and ailing Doctor Jackson concerning how he felt when his friends
were stranded aboard the Replicator-infested Asgard ship. The
sentiment the young academic had expressed had been more than
a little familiar to Hammond, who had revealed he felt exactly
the same way every time one of his teams went through the gate.
Looking down on the silent ring now, Doctor Jackson’s
words repeated themselves in his mind.
‘I should be out there…’
~*~
Jack woke to the feeling of something sticking into his back.
Reaching a hand behind him, he could find nothing and gave
up, bringing his hand back around to feel…
Daniel.
Jack’s opened his eyes and looked down to study the
pale face resting on his lap.
None of them had been at their best when they had set out
on this mission, but Daniel, frankly, looked like death on
a really, really bad day. Eyes so sunken they looked bruised,
cheekbones standing out starkly against skin so white he looked
almost…
Automatically Jack reached a hand to Daniel’s throat,
feeling for the slow steady pulse beat that reassured him appearances,
at least in this case, were deceiving. The strange sense of
tenuous connection between them was still there, like a carrier
wave he could almost follow the same way he’d followed
it last night and…
‘He is with you now.’
Crap.
Focusing inward, Jack confirmed that, yes, Daniel was still
in there -even as his eyes disputed that fact by revealing
Daniel’s physical presence as a limp, still weight across
his legs and under his hand.
A noise near the entrance caused Jack to look up, straight
into the eyes of Teal’c. The big man’s bottomless
gaze seemed to express many things at once, speaking of caring,
support, friendship, concern.
“All will be well, O’Neill.”
Jack gave a wry smile in response, tapping a finger lightly
against Daniel’s shoulder. “Easy for you to say,
you aren’t carrying around a hundred and sixty-five pound
conscience.”
Teal’c’s eyes smiled and he nodded, once, to
indicate he understood the comment and agreed.
Jack had tagged Daniel with the label early on in their lives
as a team, following a series of events that had led them to
believe the younger man was dead. The resultant grief, eulogy,
and funeral had brought Jack to a lot of realizations about
the young man he had let into his life.
Despite initial fears, Jack had known from the first mission
to Abydos exactly what Doctor Daniel Jackson, PhD, whiz kid
extraordinaire was made of. And it was some damn tough stuff.
Daniel had not only learned to speak a 3000 years dead and
bastardized language in a matter of hours; he had involved
all of them in the plight of the Abydonians enslaved by the
goa’uld calling himself Ra, helping the people regain
freedom they had not known in thousands of years. The unexpected
determination of a man Jack had barely given the time of day
much less anything approaching respect had sparked a renewed
interest in life in a tired old colonel too wrapped up in grief
to see beyond his own sense of loss and desire to die.
It had taken Daniel’s first death to open Jack’s
eyes to life again and his second to nearly cause him to close
them again. Luckily, they’d gotten Daniel back both times.
For all of Daniel’s mule-headed stubbornness, his insistence
on facing every grey-shaded moral dilemma head on - and his
damned irritating habit of being right - Jack knew his friend
was irreplaceable - on the team and in his life. Daniel was
definitely one of a kind, and Jack was damn proud to call him
friend.
Teal’c was still watching him, Jack realized, but he
just shook his head knowing Teal’c understood.
Jack was really beginning to feel the discomfort of the nonexistent
rock consistently sticking him in the back, and reminding him
how long it had been since he had seen to a certain bodily
function.
But…
Daniel.
Surely twenty feet and back quickly would be safe…
“Teal’c? How about hanging onto him while I check
out the…facilities?”
Teal’c nodded once, sitting and smoothly moving Daniel’s
unresisting form over to his own lap while Jack rose stiffly,
rubbing at his legs to ease the tingling sensation of blood
flow returning. Lya and Carter were standing at the entrance
now, talking softly as Jack headed for the designated area
for bodily upkeep amid broad yawns that did little to clear
his fogged mind. He had just decided he would be tempted to
kill for coffee when Lya turned and saw him on his feet and
heading away from Daniel.
“You must not!” she warned sharply - even as
Jack felt a wave of nausea and heat wash over him, driving
him to his knees at the same moment a hoarse cry echoed through
the cavern.
Chapter 7
Brightest and best of the sons
of the morning,
Dawn on our darkness, and lend us thine aid
~ Reginald Heber
~*~
Daniel was splitting apart.
Worse than before, so much worse.
Wrenching jolts of dissolution shuddered through his body
until he was certain he was no longer connected to it at all.
Strong arms tightened around his chest, but it was not enough.
Was not …
“Jack!”
He had to see, fought to open his eyes, succeeded only to
find the swirling haze of colors washing over his vision with
the strength of radiation, splitting him on an almost elemental
level. Nausea transmuted into pain, pain into something he
felt might be close to implosion lacking only the merest spark
to render him messily and totally lost…
He was peripherally aware of his own harsh gasps for breath,
of blood rushing through his veins at too great a speed, of
his heart thumping raggedly in his chest, forgetting its accustomed
rhythm; beating faster and faster, closer and closer to nothingness…
Warm pressure brought him back, surrounded him until the
tide receded and he could breathe again. He knew he was moaning
uncontrollably as normality settled back over him in a rush
of awareness, but at the moment he could not seem to care.
He was rocking. No. He was being rocked. Small movements
up and down as strong hands stroked soothing patterns across
his back.
Daniel slowly became aware of a voice – or rather the
resonance of a voice – beneath his ear where it rested
against something warm, solid, familiar; the voice urged him
to breathe, ordered him to breathe, apologized over and over…
“I’m sorry, Daniel, should have known. Breathe,
kid, in and out…”
All of Daniel’s awareness was focused on those words,
on the soft shirr-whup of the heart he could hear more clearly
than the words.
Gradually his vision cleared, the colors fading to - black.
He almost laughed at the realization that the black was a shirt.
Jack’s shirt.
The pain was easing away on Jack’s words, on the soothing
hands reminding Daniel that he was still yet alive and connected
to his suddenly rebellious, trembling body. He nodded a little
against Jack’s chest, hoping his friend would understand
he was all right, or at least was getting there. On some instinctive
level, though, he knew this momentary control was fragile,
and somehow dependent on Jack.
Soft voices behind him whispered words Daniel couldn’t
quite decipher and Jack’s voice rumbled a reply. “How
the hell could this have happened?”
A lilting voice answered. Lya. Something about interference,
accord, safety with Jack…
Daniel could buy that one.
He was safe, out of all the uncertainties crowding his mind
he knew that. All he wanted at the moment was to hide here
in these arms that had always held such a feeling for him;
even at the lowest moments of his life, he had known this – aura – of
unreserved security in Jack’s presence. Now it was intensified
far beyond anything he could have imagined, and he was content
to let his world consist of nothing more than gentle hands,
a black shirt and the blessed absence of dissolution.
The shuddering waves dissipated slowly as his breathing slowed
to something closer to what he knew as normal and Daniel let
his body slump further into Jack’s support. Cool fingers
came to rest on his forehead, swiping away the moisture gathered
there.
“Better?” He felt and heard the voice simultaneously,
the tone as gentle as any he had ever heard from Jack.
‘Must have really been bad…’
Daniel nodded again, making an effort to raise his weight
off Jack, and failing as the hand on his forehead slid down
to rest on the back of his neck, effectively stilling the movement.
“Just stay put, catch your breath.”
Shifting a little so he could see, Daniel found himself hovered
over by four worried faces. He did not have to look up to know
there were actually five. Seeking each of his watchers in turn,
Daniel sought to reassure them, sought reassurance from them.
He was unsure if any of them succeeded; he knew that his own
smile was likely a pretty lame attempt. He was scared; as scared
as he had ever been in a life full of too many examples of
things to be afraid of.
The steady pressure of Jack’s hand was like a balm
to the pain of his body and the resonant echo of his soul.
Lacking the strength to respond, Daniel just squeezed the arm
his hand rested on, feeling the pressure on his neck increase
slightly before resuming the soothing motions down his back.
With a shaky breath, Daniel opened his mouth to speak, lost
the words, started again… “What’s, um, what’s
up, guys?”
~*~
Teal’c had to smile at the brave words coming from
their young friend. The fear Daniel Jackson thought he concealed
was more than evident in his eyes. SG1 had come to know the
expression well, had often watched it appear and be defeated
for the sake of a mission or some other purpose Daniel Jackson
deemed more important than the fear. To Teal’c, reared
among warriors, this was a different sort of courage, a stronger
sort because it had no refuge in the reflex actions of training
or the moral absolution of orders.
Watching O’Neill, now soothing away the last of the
shaking induced by the separation, Teal’c could see the
relief at Daniel Jackson’s words. O’Neill had realized
at once what was happening, fighting his own pain to crawl
toward Daniel Jackson. Antaeus had been awake and on his feet
in an instant, just as Lya had instructed Major Carter to help,
even as Teal’c prepared himself to move Daniel Jackson
into O’Neill’s keeping. The change had been nearly
instantaneous as the two men came into contact, and Teal’c
had noted the air of doubt in Major Carter’s eyes fade
at the incontrovertible proof of the Nox claims.
O’Neill’s entire aspect projected fierce protection
and regret as he rocked their recovering friend. Even now,
Daniel Jackson’s body trembled as the pain receded. To
Teal’c the younger man appeared entirely too fragile,
a fact that disturbed him as he had never associated the word
with the tenacious and capable friend he had come to know and
care for.
Teal’c met the blue eyes seeking his and knew his concern
was evident. Daniel Jackson smiled slightly, licking his lips
in preparation to speaking again.
“That bad?”
It took a moment for Teal’c to realize that it was
another of Daniel Jackson’s dry remarks. Intended as
humorous to ease the concern all of them were feeling and were
not hiding from him at all. O’Neill was shaking his head,
smiling and looking up at the Nox.
“Like he said. Maybe now would be a good time to answer
that question.”
The Nox conferred, or at least appeared to, on some subliminal
level, then settled on either side of O’Neill. Antaeus
smiled gently down at Daniel Jackson.
“You are stronger now?”
Daniel Jackson nodded, once again moving to rise, and once
again held back by O’Neill.
“Just…stay.” O’Neill’s voice
was quiet, but forceful, and Daniel Jackson nodded as if understanding
a deeper meaning behind them Teal’c did not quite fathom.
The Nox couple crossed their forearms before O’Neill
and Daniel Jackson, eyes closing in preparation for summoning
up the indefinable power they possessed. Teal’c gradually
became aware of a carrier wave of ‘harmony’ tugging
at the edges of his consciousness. A quick glance at Major
Carter told him she also sensed the building energy.
Daniel Jackson was frowning, his own eyes closing. As Teal’c
watched, the two men were enveloped in the glow of wavering
energy. Daniel Jackson’s body tensed, and O’Neill’s
arm tightened convulsively around the younger man as the silver
head dropped to rest on the darker one. To Teal’c it
seemed as if a connection were closed, redefined and directed
by the two Nox so intently focused on them. After long minutes,
the energy faded and both men slid to the ground to rest together,
obviously deeply asleep. Lya’s eyes opened to meet Teal’c’s
concerned gaze.
“They will rest now.” The tiny woman rose unsteadily,
and Teal’c moved forward to help her.
“Perhaps you should as well?”
“Yes, she should.” The two Nox exchanged some
unspoken communication, the end result of which was Lya nodding
and allowing Teal’c to settle her near the fire.
Major Carter moved forward to help, retrieving the bathrobe
to drape over Lya’s already sleeping form.
Antaeus was rising, face reflecting great weariness.
“You are well?”
The Nox man stretched carefully, nodding. “Yes, it
is draining, but yes.”
Major Carter joined them, looking back toward the sleepers
in concern. “So...What just happened here?”
~*~
Antaeus sighed. There was so much beyond their understanding,
yet they deserved what explanation he could give.
What had just happened...?
Together he and Lya had healed a few - so very few - of Daniel’s
severed connections to his spirit. Traveling the pathways of
the two joined ‘souls,’ they had determined physical
proximity was not so much a factor in Daniel’s pain on
separation as was the loss of contact with the part of himself
which O’Neill held in safekeeping.
All humans, Antaeus knew, carried the essence of the Nox
gifts; opening those connections between two spirits already
so closely connected had been a relatively simple thing. It
would, he was sure, require some adjustment on the part of
both men. The things he and Lya shared as easily as breathing
would be new and perhaps a little frightening for the humans,
but the alternative left neither man capable of functioning,
much less in a position to face the trials that must inevitably
come if they were to free the Nox world of Klorel’s presence
- at whatever cost freedom might come.
Antaeus explained the situation to the two before him, trying
very carefully not to offend the ‘very young’ human
female or the jaffa. These particular young did not seem to
care for being spoken to as young; it was an interesting
dilemma.
“We believe,” Antaeus concluded, “only
the destruction of Klorel’s device will change what has
been done to them. By deepening the connection Daniel will
be able to feel that part of himself within O’Neill,
which should allow them both a greater freedom of movement.
It remains to be seen how much that freedom will allow.”
Carter nodded, clearly not completely understanding everything,
but accepting, at least for the moment, that something was
affecting both of her friends. “And you believe destroying
the device will fix it?”
Antaeus smiled gentle reassurance. “If not, it will
fix us so that we may fix them.”
The statement earned him a genuine smile from Carter. “Okay,
sounds like a plan.”
Teal’c was nodding thoughtfully. “Indeed. A more
immediate plan might be to provide food and water so all may
regain their strength.”
“Yes.” Antaeus agreed, moving toward the cave
mouth and extending his senses. “Together, I think we
may be able to provide that.”
~*~
Sam watched the three sleepers as she stoked up the fire.
Despite the warmth of the day, the cave was damp and musty.
The colonel and Daniel were both so completely out of it, she
worried they would get sick on top of their other - problem.
As she moved back to stand watch at the cave entrance, Sam
had to shake her head at the concept of the two men joined
in some sort of psychic bond. A few hours earlier she’d
have been tempted to dismiss it outright, but Daniel’s
reaction had been - frightening.
Sam had seen Daniel in various states of pain both emotional
and physical: from a mild wince after barking his shins on
his office furniture while distractedly expounding on one subject
or another, to the addled confusion following exposure to the
ribbon device, to the spasms of sarcophagus withdrawal. But
never had she seen him in such outright agony. For several
heart-stoppingly long seconds she had been afraid Daniel would
die as she watched helplessly.
Sam had to shake off the memories of times she had thought
he was dead, times much earlier in their friendship. Even then
she had known their lives had already become entwined; now
though, his loss to her life and the team was unthinkable -
as deep a loss as a family member.
‘Little brother Daniel? ’ she silently
asked the quiescent face, resting quite peacefully under the
security of the colonel’s arm. Sam smiled at the gesture;
even asleep the colonel was on duty. If she and Daniel were
brother-sister, what did that make the colonel? Big brother?
Or more a case of father-protector?
The things that made the colonel and Daniel such good friends
had always been a mystery to her, and eventually she had given
up trying to analyze it. It simply was and whatever they might
face in the days ahead, she knew that one basic, essential
truth would go a long way to seeing them through it.
Shifting at a sudden noise, Sam noticed Lya stirring quietly.
“You okay?”
The Nox woman smiled sweetly as she rose, stopping to gently
place the robe over the two remaining sleepers before moving
to stand beside Sam. Pink or no, Sam thought, the embarrassing
thing was proving to be quite useful.
“Antaeus and Teal’c have gone for provisions,” Sam
offered.
Lya nodded and Sam got the distinct feeling her explanation
had been completely unnecessary.
“You are uncomfortable with us?” The soft tone
and gentle eyes allowed no evasion.
“Yeah, I guess anything I can’t explain makes
me...uneasy.”
Another smile and Lya turned to meet Sam’s apologetic
gaze. “Some things need no explanation. They simply are.”
Blinking at the echo of her recent thoughts, Sam nodded uncomfortably.
Maybe Lya was right. Like friendship and family and SG1, perhaps
the Nox did not need to be explained, just accepted.
At Lya’s understanding nod, Sam grinned. “I really
wish you wouldn’t do that. You aren’t really reading
my thoughts all the time, are you?”
“No.” Lya’s voice fairly chimed with amusement. “Only
occasionally, when your strength gives them power. With the
device clouding our abilities it is more difficult not to
hear you.”
“A really big part of me finds all this so hard to
believe...” Sam’s gesture took in the cave, the
sleepers, Lya herself.
“Yet the evidence clearly indicates it is so. And your
science cannot express what you see.” It was not a question,
but Sam nodded anyway. “You will see many more and stranger
things before this ordeal ends, it would help if you could
adapt to a different way.... at least for a time.”
‘Think outside the box, Sam.’
How many times had Daniel said that to her, trying so hard
to get her to grasp his method of reaching a conclusion? Too
many, and she was still unsure if she had ever really gotten
it. But with luck, and time, maybe there was still a chance
he would still succeed.
Lya was smiling again.
Chapter 8
Melt and dispel, ye spectre-doubts,
that roll
Cimmerian darkness o’er the parting soul...
~ Thomas Campbell
~*~
Something was tickling Jack’s nose, something that
moved every time he breathed, something like - hair.
Jack cracked open one eye and saw Daniel huddled under his
arm, looking about as abused in body and soul as Jack had ever
seen him. Daniel’s eyes were moving underneath his closed
lids and Jack wondered idly if his friend’s dreams were
good.
No sooner had the thought been expressed than Jack was enveloped
by images of fire and Apophis and Sohkar’s blood. Pain
both of the past and the present. Physical pain as Apophis’ goons
laid into him when he set himself up to retrieve the communication
device; Daniel had never explained exactly how he had gotten
it, but the knowledge did not surprise Jack. There was also
pain of the spirit caused by the memories the drug had forced
upon him. Overlying it all was darkness, hatred for the goa’uld
and Apophis most of all, and a deeper loathing for himself
because of it. In the dream Jack’s arm was slung around
Daniel’s shoulders as they ran for the transport rings;
an impossible distance Daniel was sure they were not going
to make....
With a jolt, Jack was outside again and looking down on Daniel’s
drawn face, certain the dream continued for him.
‘Damn it.’
Jack swallowed as the strong emotion of Daniel’s dream
swept over him and dissipated. But Daniel was still trapped
there, probably had revisited Sohkar’s hell many times
in the year since they had escaped from Naetu. Jack’s
sympathetic nature reached out, mind and body, to still the
darkness torturing Daniel, instinctively reacting to drive
the demons away.
Daniel’s eyes opened quickly; he looked at Jack then
around the cave and back again before snapping them shut again. “Ow.”
Jack sat up, noting for the first time they were alone. A
quick glance around showed a pot bubbling on the fire, a delicious
smell sending instant messages straight to his empty stomach,
and there were other items stacked nearby he was sure had not
been there when he’d gone to sleep: clothes, blankets,
fruit.
A noise near the cave mouth brought him up to his knees,
gaze roving to find his weapon on the other side of the cave,
even as he felt a stab of visceral fear at the thought of straying
too far from Daniel.
Teal’c came into view first, carrying what looked like
full water skins. The two Nox followed, then Carter who was
adjusting her zat to safety position.
Jack sat back down heavily, feeling slightly hung over. Daniel,
he noted, had simply shifted to his side to see the others.
Jack could feel the dull ache of bruises he knew were not his
own and a lethargy that similarly was not his. The whole situation
was just too strange, too heavy a concept to grasp, but he
knew what the Nox said was true - somehow he and Daniel were
connected, their lives depending on one another.
Not necessarily a new situation for them, just more - intense.
A soft snort brought Jack out of his thoughts back to Daniel,
who was smiling up with his usual fatalistic acceptance of
things odd, strange and curious Jack had come to know so well.
They would make it, out of sheer stubbornness if nothing else.
Carter and Lya were dishing up whatever was in the pot while
Teal’c and Antaeus poured water into carved wooden cups,
and Jack became aware once again of a bodily need he had not
been able to attend to earlier.
“Um, Antaeus, can I....?” Jack motioned toward
the back of the cave.
Antaeus smiled the irritatingly understanding smile Jack
knew so well. “It should be safe to...” The Nox
man mimicked Jack’s motion, causing them all - including
Daniel - to laugh.
Jack treated them all to his most put-upon moan and stood.
He was all too aware of what had happened the last time he
had tried this and hoped Antaeus was right.
“Go, Jack.” Daniel’s voice was soft, but
it broke through Jack’s hesitation.
With one part of his mind focused on Daniel, Jack moved away
slowly, bracing against the possibility that he might have
to turn around in a hurry.
Ten feet, fifteen.
A warmth flooded Jack’s mind, familiar affection that
let him know everything was okay. Daniel.
Jack nodded to himself, sending his own message of strength
and hope back along the link between him and Daniel. They would
find a way out of this.
They had to.
~*~
Jacob Carter stepped through the Earth stargate with a sigh
of frustration. His daughter was missing and her team along
with her - the team that had helped the Tok’ra so often
in the past and yet, when they were in danger, the Tok’ra
council was ‘too busy.’ It was a situation Jacob
was finding more and more familiar - and irritating.
Daniel and Sam had risked a lot not so long ago when Teal’c
and Jack had been lost on a one-way trip out of the solar system
thanks to Apophis’ surprise addition to the death glider
the backroom techs at Area 51 had decided to reconstruct in
the Air Force’s image. If the glow of the stargate had
not caught Jacob’s attention in the darkness, Daniel
and Sam would have died in the explosion he had been seconds
away from detonating.
Jacob tried to muster a smile as he glanced up toward the
control room, knowing he was far from pulling it off. George’s
return nod told him the message was received and understood.
No Tok’ra help on this one.
A tech sergeant appeared through the blast doors, directing
Jacob to follow.
Selmak’s presence settled over Jacob’s troubled
thoughts, bringing calm where Jacob could find none of his
own.
‘Thank you, old friend. I need a clear head on
this one.’
An answering wave of affection - Selmak had spent centuries
inside the body of a very empathetic woman after all - touched
at his mind.
‘Getting in touch with one’s feminine side?’ Selmak
asked with a ripple of amusement at the old joke between them.
Jacob snorted softly, aware that the tech sergeant was looking
at him strangely. ‘You don’t know the half
of it, Selmak.’
Laughter was like a tickle in Jacob’s brain, almost
like an endorphin rush that made him feel much steadier than
he had when he’d first arrived. Two years before, Jacob
had no clue about goa’uld or Tok’ra or any sort
of life beyond his future with the Air Force and the strained
relationship with half his family and the barely functioning
one with the other half. He had been so clueless as to what
Sam needed, wanting only to fulfill her dream but not taking
the time to listen to her words - or the meaning behind them
- that would have told him Sam already had found her dream.
Was in fact living it by way of a stone circle at the bottom
of a missile silo in Colorado.
‘My how we’ve grown…’ Selmak
teased.
‘Impudent parasite…’
Jacob cut off the internal dialogue with a brief thanks and
entered the briefing room the tech sergeant had led him to.
This was a different room than they had used on his previous
visits, more private, and Jacob wondered at the reasons for
bringing him here.
The door opened and George came in, followed closely by four
men in fatigues and Doctor Fraiser. George walked over and
shook Jacob’s hand, a gentle pressure conveying all the
heartfelt sympathy Jacob knew his old friend was capable of.
“I take it the Tok’ra are bowing out of this
one.” The tone left no doubt George had expected to be
disappointed.
With a nod, Jacob returned the pressure and they all moved
to sit as George introduced his companions, Majors Feretti
and Griff, Sergeant Coburn, Lieutenant Pierce and Doctor Fraiser.
Nodding acknowledgment to all of them, Jacob turned to face
his old friend. “What’s going on, George?”
A grim smile and a sigh were his answer as George turned
to the large screen behind him. Within moments the face of
the President was looking down on them, larger than life.
Rather like the man himself.
They all stood reflexively, training serving them well, and
the President nodded shortly to release them to be seated again. “Hello,
George. Jacob, good to see you again.”
“You, too, sir.” Jacob replied sincerely.
The President had always been very approachable to his Staff
and they had formed a bond of mutual respect. Since his blending,
Jacob had always taken time to get in touch with the President
when on Earth, and he knew the Stargate Project had no better
friend. Jacob only wished he were still an official resident
so he could vote for the man in the coming election.
Selmak nudged Jacob, bringing his wandering thoughts back
to the present. The President was speaking.
“…wish I could do more, but my hands are tied.
The five of you are the only ones who will have any idea of
where you’re really going. And if something happens out
there….”
It didn’t take much thinking to fill in the blanks
of what he had missed. They were on their own, no official
support. George had obviously hand-chosen from among his volunteers
with that in mind. All of them looked resolved and determined.
“Where are we going?”
George waited for the President’s nod before answering. “Tollana.”
~*~
Klorel paced before the observation window of the ha’tak,
fury building with each step. His First Prime stood stoically
before him, having just delivered word their search had produced
no sign of the humans or the two Nox who had escaped with them.
Klorel was in no mood to deal generously with anything, much
less failure. With a slow turn, he activated his ribbon device
and watched the green glow seep away the modicum of intelligence
his First Prime had possessed.
As the dark eyes emptied of awareness, Klorel imagined blue
eyes in their stead. Imagined Daniel Jackson kneeling before
him as a blank face possessing nothing that could be called
life.
The thought was pleasing, so much so that Klorel pushed the
device beyond anything he had previously done and watched in
amazement as the First Prime began to glow. As the glow faded
it swirled over his body, and absorbed into his skin, bringing
with it instant knowledge of every moment of the man’s
life. From birth to the shock of death, Klorel knew it all.
Realized how resentful the man had been of his former host,
and reveled in the fear he felt associated with the memory
of this new body. The feeling was more intoxicating than anything
he had ever known.
He wanted more.
He wanted Daniel Jackson.
~*~
Antaeus observed the humans with interest. They were trying
so very hard to be ‘normal,’ to displace the horror
of O’Neill and Daniel’s situation with their humor
and caring.
And it was working.
Already Daniel was sitting up and eating, making a valiant
effort toward normalcy and setting an example of determination
the others quickly followed.
To Antaeus it seemed an odd dance of give and receive as
they adjusted themselves to the needs of the one requiring
their united strength, and Daniel returned the gesture by working
harder. Antaeus could easily feel the fear emanating from the
young human, could sense just as strongly its answering echo
in O’Neill.
O’Neill was an enigma. So seemingly rough-edged and
too enthusiastically ready to let force guide his actions,
yet the depth of his commitment to his companions was quite
tangible, a seamless component of who the man was.
Perhaps the humans were not quite so young as he had originally
assumed.
As Daniel set his bowl aside, Carter brought water and O’Neill
settled himself next to his friend. Close proximity was no
longer necessary, but Antaeus could feel the reassurance in
the gesture.
They had yet to test the physical distance the two men could
actually be separated. Antaeus feared it would not be much
and could also feel the thought worrying at all the humans.
The task before them would be difficult enough; it would be
even more so with the constant concern of remaining within
a boundary of distance between them.
The physical symptoms both men experienced were more than
debilitating. Even to Antaeus they were frightening. He feared
each time it happened could make Daniel’s ultimate return
to his own body more difficult.
He and Lya were at a severe disadvantage as far as their
abilities at the moment. Though they projected as much confidence
as possible to the humans, they were far from certain whether
they were correctly defining and dealing with the problem.
“So, what are we going to do?”
Antaeus smiled at the tone of Daniel’s brave words,
had to stifle a laugh at the alternately tolerant, amused,
and concerned faces of the other humans as they shook their
heads at the young one’s clear intent to commit himself
to whatever action his team deemed necessary.
O’Neill smiled coldly. “We stop the bastard.”
Chapter 9
Thought is deeper than all speech,
Feeling deeper than all thought;
Souls to souls can never teach
What unto themselves was taught.
~ Thomas Pearse Cranch
~*~
The ha’tak stood menacingly quiet in the clearing,
far too quiet. Teal’c observed no jaffa activity around
the craft, a fact that disturbed him. The absence of troop
activity went against every tactical and strategic tenet he
had ever been taught.
O’Neill sat beside him, recognition of the wrongness
of the situation plainly discernible on his face. Just beyond
him was Daniel Jackson, still looking too unwell to be with
them, but the Nox testing had proved O’Neill and Daniel
Jackson could not be parted more than a few dozen yards. The ‘testing’ had
frightened them all as Daniel Jackson had paled, slumping bonelessly
into Teal’c’s arms with a gasp of pain. They had
been braced for the reaction, but it had nonetheless shocked
them.
O’Neill had been prepared but even so had been nearly
overwhelmed by the physical reaction. He had returned to Daniel
Jackson’s side quickly, enveloping the young man’s
trembling form even as he angrily questioned the Nox.
Antaeus had shared with them then his belief that every new
separation would cause greater and greater harm to both of
his friends, a situation Teal’c resolved would not happen
again were it in his power to prevent it.
Major Carter was just returning from reconnaissance around
the perimeter with Antaeus, still wearing her night attire
but seemingly more comfortable in the rough textured jacket
the Nox had provided. With the exception of Teal’c himself,
they all now wore some article of Nox clothing. O’Neill
had also been provided one of the loose jackets, as had Daniel
Jackson, who also wore soft boots. Thankfully none of the items
were the shades of purple and pink the Nox usually seemed to
prefer. Muted tones of brown and green were far more practical
when attempting to blend into the forest.
As Major Carter drew closer, Teal’c could tell from
her expression the news was not good.
“We’ve found more of the Nox being held in a
pen over the ridge,” she reported quietly, looking briefly
to Lya and shaking her head. Teal’c clearly read the
gesture; Nefreyu was not among them. Although both Nox had
stated the belief their son was dead, Teal’c understood
too well the hope both suppressed.
O’Neill was frowning as he scanned the ha’tak
again. Knowing O’Neill as he did, Teal’c was certain
his friend was weighing the merits of two courses of action.
Attacking the ha’tak might result in the deaths of the
captive Nox if they did not succeed; attempting to rescue the
Nox with the ha’tak intact might well bring the weaponry
of the huge vessel to bear on them all.
Strangely, O’Neill seemed to be wavering, stealing
glances at Daniel Jackson that Teal’c would classify
as equal parts irritation and surprise.
With a sigh, O’Neill nodded as if answering an internal
question. Before getting to his feet, pulling Daniel Jackson
hurriedly but gently alongside him. “You guys...scout
something. We’ll be right back.”
Teal’c could only raise an eyebrow toward Major Carter
when the Nox smiled knowingly at one another as they stared
after the retreating pair.
Odd indeed.
~*~
The hand on his arm was firm and just starting to hurt when
Daniel decided they had gone far enough.
“Jack? What?” he demanded with a sharp pull to
release himself, not a necessarily wise move, but the waves
of confusion and disapproval he could feel from Jack were nearly
overwhelming.
Jack looked at the hand he had been gripping Daniel with,
seeming lost in thought. With a shake of his head, Jack dropped
his hand and started pacing back and forth in front of Daniel.
“You...” Jack began then sighed and kept pacing.
Daniel shook his head wearily, feeling the anger dissipate
slowly to be replaced by something closer to respect. Daniel
sighed, glad the storm seemed to have passed but still unsure
what sort of storm it had been.
‘An O’Neillian tempest?’ Daniel
joked to himself, cringing at the bad humor. Hanging around
Jack was one thing, being so utterly attuned to Jack’s
moods was definitely playing strangely with his sense of self.
‘Oh.’
Understanding dawned, and Daniel had to sit down in the grass
in order to process the new insight.
Jack was looking down at him, eyes concernedly scanning for
signs of distress. Daniel raised one hand in a plea for patience,
shaking his head to dispel Jack’s worry. “It’s
okay, Jack, just....”
‘Just what? Sorry I was feeling sympathy for the
Nox, sorry I made you feel what I feel... ’ Daniel
sighed in frustration. Did they have a chance in hell of
stopping Klorel like this?
With a sigh, Jack was beside him on the grass. “No...Don’t...”
Daniel could feel the comfortable presence of Jack at the
edge of his mind, at the moment a very hesitant presence. He
scrubbed a hand through his hair and looked up at the throat
clearing noises that told him Jack was about to say something
he really did not want to say. Jack had never been particularly
comfortable being serious, Daniel knew that and understood,
but they had always found a way to get around it.
Almost always, anyway.
“Daniel, I.... I’m sorry.”
Okay, surprise of the day at twelve o’clock.
Jack was apologizing. Not exactly a frequent occurrence between
them.
Actually, Daniel could only recall two occasions in four
years. Three actually, counting the night Jack had introduced
Daniel to fine Irish whiskey as a means of catharsis after
Sha’re’s death.
There was not a great deal about that night Daniel could
remember, but he distinctly recalled Jack hanging onto him
after he had surpassed the sullen drunk stage and taken a header
straight into despairing. Jack’s deck had been doing
a fine imitation of a sea vessel, but Daniel had felt securely
anchored by Jack, by his words of comfort and apology for not
getting Sha’re back, for being too late. The resulting
hangover had been horrendous, but Daniel would not trade the
night or the memory for anything.
There had been too few of those kinds of moments in the past
months, too few moments of anything except disagreement and
dissension.
Jack was nodding his head, agreeing with the sentiment if
not the exact memories Daniel was processing. The last mission
had cleared away a lot of the distance between them, but, as
was so often the case in their lives, there simply had not
been time to do more than recognize and regret it.
A hand reached out to grasp Daniel’s shoulder; a mental
gate unlocked and he could feel Jack’s open respect for
who Daniel was, perhaps fully understanding for the first time
just how much of who he was related to the things that so often
irritated Jack. Daniel knew he could no sooner stop being who
he was than Jack could, had always known even when that confidence
had been shaken by events beyond their control and circumstances
seemingly designed to continually test those core truths.
And Daniel knew one truth more confidently than any other:
Jack was a good man. Driven occasionally by duty to places
he was not always comfortable going, to do things he later
knew were based on shaky foundations, but at the end of the
missions and the sometimes harrowing moments of conflict both
personal and among the team - Jack was Jack. A damn fine friend
and one of the best men Daniel had ever known.
“Me, too...” Jack nodded, hand tightening one
last time on Daniel’s shoulder, letting Daniel feel the
reinforcement of his words.
They were good, better than good. Better than they’d
been since Edora when Jack had disappeared, and things had
seemed to slide apart despite their best efforts to put it
back.
“Yeah...” Daniel looked up, meeting Jack’s
level gaze and nodding as he let go. Not exactly severing the
connection, just lessening it.
“We really need to get a handle on this before...” Jack’s
voice trailed off as he looked off through the trees to where
the top of the ha’tak was visible.
There really was no need to complete the thought. Freeing
the Nox and stopping Klorel was going to be difficult enough
without the added complication of the two of them meshing personalities
at the unannounced drop of a proverbial hat and critically
affecting the very things about them that made them such effective
members of the same team.
With a sigh, Daniel nodded. “Well, freeing the Nox
might be a big help in that area. Lya and Antaeus were stronger
together.”
“More Nox, more power?” Jack quipped, misquoting
one of his favorite television characters.
Daniel nodded with a wry smile, raising a hand so Jack could
help him stand. “Just let them do the wiring...”
Laughter bubbled up and out, seeking a much-needed release
neither man had shared in far too long. Jack kept a hand under
Daniel’s elbow as he steered them back toward the others,
knowing without being told that Daniel’s ‘power’ was
at best tenuous.
“Yeah,” Jack agreed. “You’re a hell
of a guy, Daniel, but I’ll be a lot more comfortable
when you’re all back in there where you belong.”
The offhand compliment made Daniel pause, making him feel
warmth that had nothing at all to do with the ambient temperature
or the low-grade fever he had felt come over him after the
test earlier.
Whatever might happen in the next hours, this was another
moment he would always remember.
It was much better without the hangover.
~*~
The colonel and Daniel had definitely settled something during
their ‘walk.’ Whatever had prompted the colonel
to look so frustrated, Sam was sure she really did not want
to know what it was. It was enough to see them smiling.
“Sir?”
The colonel nodded, with a quick glance at Daniel. “We
get the Nox out first.”
Sam had to hide her grin; she had already guessed they would
and had sent Teal’c to reconnoiter the area around the
goa’uld holding pen. She had counted twenty Nox within
the compound but knew there were likely more who were either
sitting or lying down. None of them had looked to be in very
good physical condition.
Lya and Antaeus were talking quietly a few feet away and
Sam wondered, again, if it might not be wise to let them return
to the cave. Neither of them looked very comfortable being
back out in the open where the device’s effects were
stronger and Sam had a greater concern beyond that.
She and Lya had once discussed the fine line between peaceful
benevolence and active participation in an aggressive act.
If they were going to free the other Nox, the likelihood of
violence was very high. Sam noticed the colonel and Daniel
following her gaze, realized both of them were likely considering
the very same option.
“We will remain,” Antaeus spoke quietly. “They
are our people. Whatever must be done, we will do.”
The colonel nodded, mouth set in a grimace of regret for
the necessity but acknowledging the help was needed.
Sam noticed yet another look of deep understanding pass between
the colonel and Daniel as the Nox tried so hard to conceal
their sadness. This was a look and a feeling she understood.
For all her discomfort with the Nox ways, she could not deny
it was a good way and the Nox existence was nothing short of
idyllic. She hated the way circumstance had made it necessary
for that life to change, and hoped nothing would happen to
alter it too much. If it came to a choice between centuries
of beliefs and taking a life to save one of theirs or one of
the other Nox lives….
She just hoped it would not become necessary, for the Nox
or for them.
They turned into the woods, moving toward the small holding
pen, and Teal’c appeared out of the trees to join them.
“There are four guards on the perimeter and still no
activity around the ha’tak.” Teal’c’s
uneasiness about the situation was clear.
It made no sense to Sam either. True, Klorel held prisoner
everyone on the planet save the six of them, but even goa’uld
arrogance could not fully account for the absence of routine
patrols, search parties, or the usual posturing exercises jaffa
seemed to enjoy indulging in to cower those they had subjugated.
Just four guards watching twenty or so Nox - and nothing
else.
“Something’s not right…”
The words were the colonel’s, but it was Daniel who
spoke them. Sam shivered at the unexpected detour into the
weirdness zone and just watched as the colonel and Daniel exchanged
a look and resigned smiles.
“No, but what else is new?”
The colonel scanned the perimeter, his years of operational
experience plain to read as he took in every detail. There
was a sloping hillside on the opposite side of the pen, the
trees where they stood extended around the east and thinned
there, otherwise the area was reasonably secure. She and Teal’c
had checked the area, there were no hidden troops there. The
weak point was the hillside beyond, an open area that would
leave them and the imprisoned Nox vulnerable to any action
from the ha’tak.
With a sigh, the colonel turned to them. “Daniel and
I will go in. Carter, you get the trees, Teal’c the hill.
Antaeus, you and Lya stay here. We’ll send them in this
direction; you head them toward the cave. Everybody clear?”
Sam was clear on the instructions but not a bit happy about
the distribution of the team. It made more sense to her to
expose only one team member, not two who could so easily be
compromised if one so much as tripped. They had no room for
error on that; Daniel’s life depended on it.
“Sir?”
The colonel understood her concerns, Sam could see that,
but was not going to back down. Teal’c looked just as
doubtful, but he could read the implacability of the colonel’s
stance as easily as she and knew just as well that attempts
to argue would be useless and would only serve to annoy the
colonel.
Strangely, a similar focused look was on Daniel’s face
as well. Whatever - however - they were communicating to one
another, the two were definitely on the same channel.
She just hoped they knew what they were doing.
~*~
“God, what the hell are we doing?”
Jack was still trying to figure out if their current plan
was his idea, Daniel’s or some weird combination of both
of them. He knew Daniel was trying very hard to control the ‘bleed
over,’ but Jack was beginning to feel it would take much
more time than they had to get a handle on their situation
- or for him to get a handle on ‘feeling’ Daniel.
The episode earlier had taken Jack by surprise. He had always
understood that Daniel was a man who felt things deeply, that
his way of approaching life and the deep issues they so often
seemed to encounter was more than just the lip service of a
well-educated man with too much thinking time on his hands.
But the depth of Daniel’s reaction to seeing the Nox
imprisoned had echoed through Jack; it had been visceral and
full of conviction, an immediate recognition of the ‘wrongness’ followed
just as swiftly by a need - not just a desire - to
help.
The sheer strength of the feeling had been a shock. Nothing
he had not already known- at least on some level - yet not
something he had ever expected to feel for himself. So many
times in the past he had fought down Daniel’s words and
actions, dismissing them as no more than that - words. Now
he knew the spirit behind the words, knew it on a gut level
he was still having trouble processing. The conscience of SG1
was fully active, possessing a sense of rightness in the grand
scheme of life with a capital ‘L’. It was a heady
kind of insight into his friend, and Jack was still reeling
a bit with it all.
Daniel had looked up with an apology already forming on his
lips for feeling too much and inadvertently forcing Jack to
feel it too. Intending to apologize for being who he was and,
no matter how upset Jack was at the results of their forced
intrusion into each others souls, he knew that was just plain
wrong.
There were very few fundamental truths Jack still believed
in; family, honor, duty all went without saying, but one of
the biggest in Jack’s life was that Daniel was - and
always would be - Daniel.
‘Daniel Jackson of the windmill-tilting Jacksons.
Defenders of the universe as we know it… ’ Jack
quipped to himself affectionately.
But it was true; a de facto law of the universe, as much
or more consistent than any of the others Carter was always
quoting. Jack depended on that truth, depended on Daniel to
be who he was and balance the rest of the craziness of his
life. The road may sometimes have gotten rocky - hell, not
so long ago the road had almost become impassable - but it
was still there. A little patchy in places, the surprised look
on Daniel’s face at Jack’s words had proven that,
but better than it had been in far too long.
And that was good enough for this particular government work.
The rest was details, and Jack determined to make every effort
necessary to fine-tune those details as soon as they managed
to get themselves out of their current predicament.
‘Speaking of which….’
Jack looked over his shoulder to meet Daniel’s eyes
as they waited for Carter’s signal that would tell them
everyone was in position and ready. The set lines of Daniel’s
face spoke of determination to carry out their plan; the dark
smudges and pale face told Jack just as plainly how much of
an effort it was for Daniel to do it. He hadn’t missed
the heat transferring itself through Daniel’s shirt where
the younger man leaned close to view the pen now less than
twenty feet directly in front of them.
Antaeus had said this might happen, would continue to happen
with every separation episode until - please God - they stopped
Klorel, and the Nox could do something to help them.
Daniel nodded as he noticed Jack’s concern, promising
in the gesture he was up for whatever might come.
‘Like there was ever any doubt…’
At Daniel’s wry smile, Jack realized the contact between
them had transferred the emotion if not the exact thought and
smiled in return as he realized he could not care less. He
and Daniel had always done this, speaking without words, and
even without the added bonus of Klorel’s little soul
swapping, they would have known.
A soft whistle sounded from Carter’s location. They
were ready.
With a nod to Daniel, Jack edged forward knowing Daniel would
follow. When they reached the last cover available to them,
Jack whistled softly, and all hell broke lose.
Teal’c’s staff and Carter’s zat took out
two of the guards right away. As Jack cleared the brush, he
shot another and dodged left as the remaining guard got off
one shot in their direction just before Teal’c took him
out with the staff.
Jack knew without needing to look that Daniel was already
at the door of the pen, using Jack’s pocketknife to saw
away at the coarse rope acting as a lock. Jack kept his eyes
on the tree line, spotted Carter and Teal’c doing the
same, and muttered impatiently under his breath for Daniel
to hurry. They were too exposed, a fact that had Jack’s
nerves singing with the vulnerability he never had and never
would get used to.
“Got it…” Daniel called softly as the
door swung wide and the Nox started out, running where Daniel
sent them to Lya and Antaeus.
Jack joined Daniel at the door, watching carefully all around
them as the last of the Nox slipped off into the trees. He
had just enough time to note with a smile and a nudge to Daniel’s
shoulder that the last prisoner to leave was Opher before a
sudden, all too familiar sound whined in his ears - then transport
rings descended around them and the forest was gone.
Part 3