Jmas Fan Fiction

Chapter 20

Yet from those flames
No light, but rather darkness visible.

 

~ John Milton

~*~

 

 

Daniel was dying; Jack was sure of it.

There was barely a thread left to bind them and soon there would be nothing left at all, nothing left of Daniel to go back to the physical body that was fading away just as surely as the image of Daniel was evaporating right in front of Jack’s figurative eyes.

On the edges of his awareness of what lay beyond where they were, Jack could hear the erratic beeps of a heart monitor, a sound both familiar and dreaded. The sound refused to settle into the pattern of life and hope, bouncing against one another as Daniel’s heart raced against time and Daniel himself to keep living despite his efforts to let go; it was as if his heart knew what Daniel did not - that he was needed here. No matter what Klorel was putting into his head - mind - soul, Jack was sure Daniel had to know that.

But was it enough?

Jack continued to be assaulted by images of Sha’re. Of Apophis and Klorel himself. Daniel’s hatred of the goa’uld.

Daniel was one of the most forgiving people he had ever known - but not the goa’uld. The goa’uld got nothing from Daniel but contempt. And Daniel hated himself for feeling that way. Hated the goa’uld for making him feel it, and hated himself all the more for the vicious cycle that had no end as long as the goa’uld still lived.

Daniel had told Jack about the words of the monk on Kheb, how his hatred of the goa’uld would lead to the Harsesis child’s death. Daniel had been extremely drunk at the time; in fact, it had been the last time Jack had applied that particular therapy - they were long past due for another.

What had once been Klorel seemed to know about the hate, seemed to know Daniel’s greatest weakness lay in his inability to forgive himself for perfectly human emotions - like hate and doubt. They were things that refused to sit comfortably with his old soul acceptance of everything in the universe but himself and were the surest means to undermine Daniel.

Jack knew it all too well, had even used it against his friend to his shame, but he had also seen the cut go deep and the healing had been a long time in coming.

Klorel was twisting the past, negating all the growing they had done and forcing Daniel to give up without a fight. He had to fight, Jack had to make him see....

‘Not much of a foundation there....’

‘Shut up, Daniel.’

‘It’s never over with you.’

‘Shut up, Daniel.’

Whether Daniel had finally dropped the barrier, or was simply growing too weak to maintain it, Jack could suddenly feel the reverberations of the hurtful words deep in his own soul, an echo of the pain he had caused his friend. He had always known it about Daniel, known how to hurt him. Only twice before Euronda had he ever consciously used it against him.

Under the influence of the plant’s noise, they had come close to the brink of places they would normally never go out of their abiding mutual respect for what made them who they were.

During the Maybourne investigation, he had used it with deliberate precision. Aiming directly for the heart and making a direct hit based on what he knew was the best way to put distance between them. It had been with all the best intentions, but Jack had made their friendship a virtual weapon - and it had taken them both a long time to ease the doubts his actions had raised between them.

On Euronda Daniel’s instincts had been right on the money, but Jack had been so blinded by the brass ring of new technology he had refused to even listen. He had killed people for the wrong side without stopping to think how wrong it felt to not know who he was fighting - or even who he was fighting for. The taste of that victory had been bitter and Jack remembered the first inklings of doubt creeping in then. But it had not been until his own alarms had gone off that he had allowed that Daniel might be right.

Now Klorel was painting a world in which Daniel was being consumed by the doubt and the self-hatred that had taken root within his soul because he had come to expect no support, had forgotten how to ask or accept it. Daniel was being assailed by cuts too recently salved, barely beginning to heal, and the darkness was slipping in like an infection, spreading throughout Daniel’s spirit and slowly choking the life and the light away. Magnifying the threads until they had become chains slowly squeezing Daniel to death.

A low keening moan brought Jack up out of the macabre visualization to see Daniel was barely there any more, looking like nothing so much as some Hollywood special effect of a ghost. A ghost in pain and dying without a fight because he believed he deserved to die alone anyway.

“Not a chance in hell…” Jack muttered to himself, before focusing his mind to form one final weapon and diving into the final battle armed only with luck, a flashlight, and a little piece of Daniel’s soul.

 

~*~

 

Daniel was nearly gone; Lya could feel it.

Even as the human doctor plied her medicines and machines, Lya knew it was not the outward battle which would save Daniel but the inner one.

O’Neill was trying so hard, but for some reason was being held apart by Daniel himself. The lessons of the joining had not been enough to completely heal the rifts she and Antaeus had sensed between the two men on that first night in the caves. Time had worked against them, and Klorel had twisted Daniel’s pain until it had won out over his acceptance of his friend’s faults - reopening wounds and magnifying their pain until his spirit had been taken by the darkness, and Daniel was drowning - nearly lost in a sea of doubt and self-hatred.

‘Wait.’

Antaeus touched her arm, helping her focus away from the physical world and toward the inner battle.

Daniel was on his knees before the onslaught; anguish awash over his entire body as he knelt there alone in the darkness. His spirit radiated distress, his outward image defeat.

Lya tried to reach out, knowing it was futile, but she could not bear to witness the loss of such a hopeful human spirit. Could not bear to see the hope and the light within fading away without so much as a breath of the spirit she knew existed beneath the surface.

She wanted to ask how Daniel could simply accept this as his fate, how he could give in to the darkness...

But she realized she already knew.

Daniel was tired. Soul-tired. Too many hurts had finally taken their toll and she knew the young human had reached the point of barely keeping ahead of his own demons, much less those foisted upon him by the malignant darkness which had once been Klorel.

Only O’Neill and his other friends had kept Daniel fighting this long, they and his promise to his wife, a promise kept, but not in the way he had intended.

Even the small success of freeing Skaara had done little to ease the sense of failure Daniel heaped upon himself daily. For three years he had lived in hope, only to lose that hope in a single, endless moment in time that he could never entirely recover from. His hope had died in the body of his wife, and the substitute search had not begun to replace it.

The dreams through which Sha’re had imparted her last wish had only served to deepen Daniel’s isolation. The rift between him and his friends, through no fault of their own had driven yet another wedge between them. Lya had to acknowledge the Nox, the Asgard and the Tollan - who had placed such an unreasonable demand on a bond none of them could have imagined ran so deep - had completed the isolation.

Daniel had suffered for their sake, and though they had all believed it fully healed, the seeds of doubt had remained - well-hidden and carefully ignored - until Klorel’s evil had burrowed deep within to ferret it out and exploit it.

If Daniel died here, Lya knew the Alliance would be as much to blame as Klorel.

 

~*~

 

So close, so nearly gone....

The knowledge that the end was welcome both satisfied and confused Daniel. The part of him still connected to Jack and his former reality recognized how wrong it was to want it, but the feeling would no sooner arise than it would be toppled aside by the overwhelming knowledge that he deserved it. The conflicting emotions were worse than the blackness welling up from inside him, blackness he had only seen in the nightmares he had spent a lifetime running from.

He deserved this, deserved a death as awful as those he had loved - and failed - had suffered.

He had only to let go, to keep letting go....

It was all gone anyway, and nothing could bring it back....

In the moment of the realization, Daniel was standing on a precipice overlooking a chasm of swirling chaos. His hand was resting on the trunk of an oak sapling, incongruously bright with the flaming reds of autumn - a riot of color amidst the washed out nothingness surrounding him. His hand shook as he slowly released the tree with a sigh of regret. At that moment in time, the only certainty he felt was that in letting go of the tree he would be letting go of life; it was the only anchor he had, the only thing keeping him from slipping - unnoticed - over the edge. Reaching his hand back toward the tree trunk was a monumental task, the simple harmony of mind and muscle seemingly beyond him. As he continued to reach, Daniel felt his body break out in a cold sweat.

He wanted to live, if only for this one final moment, for the tree and for all it represented.

Life, hope, friendship.....

He had that. He did. Wanted to continue to have it....

A gust of wind, like the leading edge of a hurricane front, sent him to his knees and Daniel found himself looking down into the chasm, vertigo assaulting his weary mind as his hand finally clenched tightly to the rough bark.

He had to hold on.

Had to.

The wind pushed at him relentlessly, first behind him then in front until his sense of place was completely lost. His vision was nearly useless beyond the few feet that included himself, the tree and the edge. His body was a mass of tingling sensation as if the wind bore with it fine grains of sand that were scouring away at his exposed flesh. Looking down Daniel could see bits of skin flying away on the wind, blood rising and pooling briefly before it too was carried away.

He knew he really was dying now, but he was no longer willing to let go....

 

~*~

 

The light was dying.

Darkness howled in victory. Nothing else mattered now, only the death of the light.

A few moments longer and it would be over. The hated one would be dead and the other as good as dead. The remaining link between the two would either kill O’Neill or drive him mad as the piece of the light he held within died away inside him.

So good, so complete....

Darkness pushed a little harder, basking in the despair it created. These humans were so predictable, so easily manipulated. Darkness had won; the rest was simply waiting. The body was nearly gone and the spirit was bare moments behind it.

The light surged once but flickered, unable to sustain the will to live that even now tried to deny the inevitable.

Darkness was winning, and winning was all it had left....

Light?

No!

Light approached the weak one, approached and engulfed it with a strength that both enhanced and protected.

O’Neill!

It could not be!

Darkness pushed against the new light, a bright amalgamation of its two hated enemies.

The light faltered again and Darkness railed against it all the harder, feeling the weaker light begin to fail once again. With all its strength Darkness assaulted the light again and again.

It had to win; there was nothing else left to it now.

 

~*~

 

Emerging on the other side of their bond, Jack found himself standing a few feet away from Daniel who teetered unsteadily on the edge of a cliff. Wind blasted away at both of them, seeming determined to keep them apart. Jack was pushed further away while Daniel...

‘God...’

Daniel was on his knees at the edge, hands flailing in a blind search for something to hold onto. His body was leaning so far forward Jack was sure he would see his friend slide over at any moment. With a deep swallow, Jack tightened his grip on the flashlight he had almost forgotten he had brought with him.

Now, it had to be now.

Jack slid ahead toward the cliff, inch by agonizing inch, as the wind blasted at him with a malevolent fury. Bits of sand and blood hit him like tiny missiles - Daniel’s blood - the white sweater was soaked crimson with it. Tiny whimpers were nearly lost in the percussive blast of noise the wind created.

‘Dammit...’

Fear pushed Jack forward and down on his knees beside Daniel to grasp one blood slick hand in his own. The only reaction from Daniel was a slight clenching around Jack’s hand; whether Daniel recognized who or what he held onto, the touch assured Jack his friend was, at least in some small way, still clinging to life.

Trembling fingers found the switch of the flashlight and Jack put all the force of his will into the pseudo-light that shone from it. Directing the beam into the wind, Jack heard then felt a howl of pain as the Darkness gathered itself to fight this intrusion into its realm. Tightening his hold on Daniel, Jack slid both of them back from the edge - inch by painstaking inch - before sliding down and pulling Daniel to him in a one-armed grip. The contact seemed to strengthen the light and the wind moaned again, its blast weaker than before. Jack just held on, not knowing what else to do, and hoped it would be enough.

The wind sputtered, receded, then seemed to regroup in what Jack prayed was a final assault. The effort was draining him, he could feel his energy flag, could see the light dim by barely perceptible degrees.

“Please...”

Jack was unsure to whom or to what he was directing his plea. They were so close, so close...

A slight pressure on Jack’s hand directed his attention downward. Daniel. Or rather, Daniel’s bloody hand was creeping up Jack’s arm to close over the flashlight and grip it firmly over Jack’s own hand. Jack looked down to see Daniel’s eyes open and gaze up at him in tired recognition, a ghost of a smile playing at his bloody lips as he nodded.

Daniel was back, barely there but back.

Jack could feel his friend’s wavering energy slip in along their connection, filling in the gaps where Jack’s own was failing and charging into the beam until he could see nothing except the brightness that was their combined strength.

A choking sound surrounded them, gasps of pain and death Jack found incomprehensibly familiar - like the shade of past and future nightmares.

Jack decided it did not matter; all that mattered was Daniel was back with him and fighting beside him - well, in front of him and laying heavily in his grasp. Whatever the result, one victory had already been gained - the most important victory of all.

The darkness rose up out of the chasm, swirling up and above their heads in a tornadic fury that could not approach. Jack focused the beam of light into the heart of the black tempest, directed the joint energy he and Daniel possessed, pushed....

And felt something give.

As the darkness swirled impotently and began to dissipate, a part of Jack’s brain - the part that wanted to deny the empirical evidence of his heart and mind - fairly thrummed with a cultural reference he knew even Daniel would ‘get’.

‘...which old witch....’

The darkness sputtered down to nothing, small gritty bits of dust that never came close to touching them and the sun broke through. The light was restored - and their small beam was lost in the glory of it.

Jack looked around cautiously, seeing for the first time a tiny oak tree, glimmering as if on fire in the bright sunlight, exactly where Daniel had been kneeling so precariously only moments before. The chasm opened onto a river valley, glowing sedately in the golden light of day.

The darkness was gone and they were....

Jack felt the hand slip away from his own, felt Daniel’s body release the tense, stubborn energy that had driven it so long.

“Daniel?”

Dropping the flashlight and turning the still body in his arms, Jack could only watch in amazement as Daniel’s sandblasted flesh was replaced by a new and unblemished layer of skin.

Daniel was still looking up at him, the same half-smile on his lips.

“What?”

Daniel shook his head a little, wincing at the movement. “Just thinking about mighty oaks...and friends...”

Jack shook his head, not understanding, but accepting because Daniel wanted him to.

Oaks?

Looking up again, he noticed the oak sapling had grown.

Big.

Huge in fact, as if it had stood on that cliff-edge for generations rather than the few moments since he had first seen it there.

Jack wondered what Daniel had seen there before and after his arrival, decided again it made no difference. Daniel was no longer lost in the darkness; all would be well now.

Or not.

The beeping was pushing in on his consciousness again.

Erratic now, even skipping a beat or two.

“Oh, shit....”

Daniel’s hand moved to grip Jack’s jacket. “Need to go...”

Jack nodded, biting his lip. He knew Daniel was right, but he was afraid. Would they be going back to save Daniel’s life, or to end it?

“Daniel....” Jack whispered, words failing him. He knew anything he could say would be too damn little to express everything they had been through together, everything he hoped still lay before them.

“I know.” Jack could barely hear the words beyond the emotion lacing Daniel’s voice. “Me, too...”

Jack drew Daniel to him, gripping the solid warmth - illusory or otherwise it was solid - of his friend. Through their link he poured every ounce of strength he could muster, every scrap of hope he possessed and felt the hug returned weakly as Daniel nodded into his shoulder.

Jack had to clear his throat before he could speak again. “Ready?”

Pulling back to look into Jack’s eyes, Daniel nodded. “No, but let’s do it anyway.”

Jack grinned and snorted, pulling Daniel back to him and whispering, “I’ll be there every step of the way.”

Daniel’s breath was warm against Jack’s t-shirt as snuffled in quiet laughter. “Counting on it....”

With a deep breath, Jack closed his eyes and reached for the thread connecting him to his body, reached further for the one connecting him to Daniel’s.

Damn.

It was going to be close.

 

 

Chapter 21

The heart whose softness harmonized the whole,
And oh, that eye was in itself a soul!

 

~Lord Byron

~*~

 

 

Janet was cutting away Daniel’s white shirt, revealing the stripes of his earlier torture at Klorel’s hands across a chest heaving with the effort to breathe while Sam moved into position to start mouth-to-mouth when the need arose.

And Sam had no doubt it would be soon.

The heart monitor was jumping from impossibly high numbers down to zero in the space of seconds. Daniel was dying right in front of them, the colonel’s mute protection faltering in a silence far too profound and deafening. Every eye, every spare ounce of energy was focused on Daniel, but Sam feared it would not be nearly enough.

Daniel was losing the fight and the colonel - by whatever means their connection allowed - was unable to help.

In times past, Sam had wondered what would happen to the colonel if Daniel died on a mission - hell, they had seen what would happen back with Nem; the colonel had very nearly given up, retired to a guilt Sam was sure would have killed him in very short order.

Now though.....

It would have been unthinkable if the evidence of her eyes and ears were not so damning.

Daniel was going to die.

Without thinking, Sam sought out the eyes of her father. Jacob was wide open; his emotions clear to read on his face. Sam could not help thanking Selmak for needing a host at the precise time her father had needed a new chance at life. The changes in him, and their shaky relationship, had been a blessing. Sam wanted to tell him she might be in need of his comfort soon, his gentle nod returned the message that he understood and would be there when she needed him. Sam nodded, tears welling in her eyes as she realized it would be soon.

Janet was injecting something into the IV line, her eyes fixed on the monitor in a vain hope for changes, any changes. Sam swallowed hard and moved closer to Daniel’s face, ready to whisper a last goodbye even as the first tear fell onto the well-loved face she would never again see light up with the thrill of gaining knowledge for its own sake, never again stubbornly will them all to fight against overwhelming odds with every expectation that they would win.

The monitor gave a final fitful series of beeps that descended into the long tone they had all dreaded as much as they had expected it. Janet moved immediately into CPR position even as Sam bowed her head to pinch Daniel’s nostrils together and bent her mouth to his cold lips, puffing a sobbing breath into his now still body.

‘Dammit, Daniel...you can’t give up like this....’

It was all Sam could do not to shake Daniel in anger while she waited for Janet’s five count that would tell her to breathe for him again.

‘What the hell is the colonel going to say? What’re we going to do without you?’

Sam almost missed Janet’s “five” but bent quickly to breathe into Daniel’s mouth once again before leaning back just a bit to watch Janet’s determined strength compress the damaged chest in steady beats as she willed the silent heart to start beating again.

Five.

Another breath.

Five.

Another breath.

They repeated the process again and again until Sam completely lost track of time and place, her world narrowing to a five count and increasingly desperate breaths she was beginning to believe were only delaying the inevitable. Somewhere in the confusion Sam felt a tap on her shoulder; Feretti, offering silently to take her place. She shook her head roughly. Her place was here; she needed to do this for Daniel. For her team.

Five.

Another breath.

But Janet stopped, her eyes meeting hers with the look Sam had grown to hate.

No!

They could not just quit on Daniel.

When had he ever given up on them? From day one he had given his all to his team, his family. Pushing against all odds to bring them back from Antarctica, bucking bigger odds - and his team - to save the planet. Daniel did not give up.

How could they?

The tears began to fall again as she watched Janet slip off Daniel’s quiet - forever quiet now - body.

No...

 

~*~

 

The scene before him was the worst nightmare Teal’c had ever faced. He had always felt responsible for Daniel Jackson, knowing the scholar neither needed nor desired it. But Teal’c knew he had taken more from Daniel Jackson than he could ever hope to repay and only by accepting the self-imposed charge to protect the young man was Teal’c able to assuage his deep regret. In a very real sense, atoning for his sins toward Daniel Jackson had become symbolic of the atonement he felt he owed so many for what he had done as Apophis’ second in command.

Major Carter reluctantly sat back from her efforts to give breath back to their friend, though she did not move away. Her hand still rested on Daniel Jackson’s head, and her entire countenance radiated grief and regret. Jacob Carter had moved forward to kneel beside her, one arm draped across her shoulder in comfort she was not yet ready to accept.

Doctor Fraiser deactivated the heart monitor, stilling the sound Teal’c knew would disturb his rest for some time to come, and moved to sit between their two friends - too drained by her efforts to move off the bedding - and rested a hand on both men.

Teal’c knew a new fear would soon arise - the fear that O’Neill would follow Daniel Jackson into death through the mental bond they had shared - but this moment was for Daniel Jackson; a time to grieve the passing of the spirit that had so often inspired them all with its strength and hope, and helped make the SGC the epitome of everything the Tau’ri had to offer the worlds it encountered.

The Nox seemed lost in a trance state, or perhaps they were simply in shock and mourning the death of one they held in high regard. The Tollan men stood aloof, heads bowed in thought - or perhaps memory. The SGC contingent stood at attention, silently according their own kind of respect to the civilian who had earned his place among them. General Hammond seemed in shock, his eyes bright with emotion Teal’c could only begin to guess at.

The relationship between the general and Daniel Jackson had a very rocky beginning from the stories Teal’c had been told. Through perseverance and their own remarkable personalities, the two had come to respect the gifts each possessed, learned understanding in a fashion Teal’c could not help but compare to that of grandparent to favored albeit somewhat odd grandchild. Though the understanding was not complete, the bond had grown considerably, and Teal’c knew this loss would be a grave one indeed for the general.

Time passed in utter silence.

Doctor Fraiser was the first to move, rising to her knees and reaching for O’Neill’s hand, intending to break the hold that had not wavered throughout the long battle to save Daniel Jackson. As the doctor pulled the grip seemed to become all the stronger, refusing to let go.

“Oh, God...”

Major Carter finally turned into her father’s embrace, unable to watch the unconscious symbol of their fear. Awake or not, O’Neill would find it hardest to accept Daniel Jackson’s loss; they all knew it.

Teal’c moved forward quietly, intending to offer assistance if it became necessary.

And saw movement.

As O’Neill’s hand seemed to grip all the tighter, Daniel Jackson - moved.

He was alive.

 

~*~

 

‘Oh, shit...somebody stop this ride. I want off....’

Jack slowly became aware that his body hurt.

All over.

Every bit of him.

He knew the fight with Klorel had all taken place inside their heads, but he felt as if he had just run the Boston Marathon and topped the experience off with a quick swim across the English Channel.

‘Bet Daniel feels... ’

Daniel?

Jack felt the solid muscle of Daniel’s arm under his hand, felt another, smaller, hand trying to make him let go.

‘No way, Danny. We’ve come too far....’

It took several tries, but he finally opened his eyes to see - Fraiser. Beyond her he could make out Teal’c, looking like somebody had been kicking Junior. Carter was there to, hiding her face in Jacob’s shoulder and looking like someone had just died.

Oh, God...

Jack turned his head to see Daniel lying beside him, shirt ripped open and electrical leads stringing off beyond his field of vision.

He looked....

But, no, Daniel was alive. Jack could feel it in his head and in his heart. He just had to make them all see it. With a sigh of apology, Jack dug his hand even deeper into Daniel’s skin, letting his fingernails press into the muscle until he could feel the pain he was causing Daniel through their connection.

‘C’mon, Danny, show ‘em what you got.... ’

It seemed to take so long. Too long. A silence stretching and warping until Jack began to doubt what he had believed was true.

Then Daniel breathed - a long, low, crackling sound - but he breathed...

Jack watched as the others caught on to the fact, watched the disbelief wipe away the sad looks and gravitate directly into joy.

Daniel was alive. Not exactly well, Jack could have seen that even if he did not already feel it, but alive and fighting his way back to them.

Life was good.

 

~*~

 

‘I’ll be damned....’

Looking over Sam’s shoulder, Jacob could see Jack’s eyes blink open, scanning over him, Sam, Teal’c, George. As he watched Jack seemed to take in the entire situation, to realize just what they had all been through in the past few minutes. Then the stubborn set worked its way into Jack’s jaw, and Jacob dared to hope.

He watched Jack’s hand grow white knuckled as it resisted Fraiser’s attempts to make him let go. Watched the doctor’s face go pale at the macabre task of breaking what she believed to be a death grip in reverse - the living holding onto the dead. He watched as Jack smiled a little - and Daniel began to breathe, rough, harsh sounds as if he had almost forgotten how, but - by God - the kid was breathing.

Jacob turned Sam toward the sound, felt rather than saw her relief as she sagged against him, laughing softly and crying at the same time. He knew how she felt; his own eyes were filling with this his first proof of the many stories Sam had told him about SG1.

‘Legends are usually based in fact,’ Selmak commented softly, tone revealing more than a little awe at the resiliency of these two particular humans.

‘Yeah....’ Jacob was beyond the ability to comment or think coherently. Even Fraiser had taken a long beat of seconds before she reacted by flipping the switch on the heart monitor to treat them all to all to the blessed sound of life returning.

The SGC soldiers were grinning behind him and Jacob could swear he heard Feretti whisper a rough-voiced, “Told ya,” to the others. The Tollan had moved closer, needing to see the proof with their own eyes. The Nox were simply sitting there smiling, as if they had known all along things would turn out well. Jacob wondered just how much of their assurance was based on knowledge and how much on faith. They seemed to have plenty of that to spare when it came to Jack and Daniel.

‘As do we all... ’ Selmak observed in a tone that left Jacob in no doubt that his symbiote was affected as he was.

Jacob nodded as he hugged his daughter close. ‘Damn right.’

 

Chapter 22

Out of the night that covers me,
   Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
   For my unconquerable soul...

 

~ William Ernest Henley

~*~

 

 

A day could make so much difference.

One single day of not worrying, one day of peace - even if that peace was gained by a brief glimpse or a short vigil at the bedside of two friends who had yet to fully regain consciousness.

The Nox had done their ‘thing’, healing the physical injuries to both men, a sight George was still in awe about. He had read the report of the original mission to this world, but the dry words - even Doctor Jackson’s voluble and expressive ones - could not match the sheer magical reality he had witnessed with his own eyes.

He knew, better than most, that the emotional effects of what they did know Doctor Jacks -

‘Daniel, damn it, why the hell do you have to be so formal when you’re just thinking? He’s Daniel. A damn fine friend and a hell of a lot more than just another S3...’

George shook his head, looking around the room the Nox had designated as Jack and Daniel’s. It was nice, quiet - the perfect place to recuperate.

Now that the city was back in the clouds where it belonged, George was struck more than before by the sheer alien-ness of it, and by the fact they were light-years from Earth. Sitting home and waiting, reading the reports and seeing the digital images brought back by the teams did not begin to approach the singular thrill of being here. And it was a thrill, now that all his people - his friends - were all alive - even if not quite well.

He knew there would be a long bout of recovery ahead for all of SG1, the Nox warned that while the physical damage was repaired, both Jack and Daniel’s energy would be quite some time in returning. Lya had taken a long time the night before to explain to him, Doctor Fraiser and the other half of SG1 some of what they could expect Jack and Daniel to have to deal with. Once they awakened the Nox would be completing the separation of their souls, and Lya warned the loss of the connection that had sustained them so long might be as much or more devastating - and deadly - than the physical and mental torments Klorel had subjected them to.

Lya had only hinted at the inner battle the two had gone through while they had all watched helplessly. Just the mental images created by her words had left George with foreshadowing of nightmares to come, nightmares he was sure would not begin to compare to the reality of what the future held for his friends. He swore they would be given time, no matter what the circumstances or what strings he might have to pull. Time to rest, time to remember who they were, time to remember how to be a team - though George was pretty sure that goal had already been achieved. He hoped so at any rate.

He had been more than aware for quite some time that things were not one hundred percent with his top team, but had let himself chalk it up to the pressures inherent in the work they did. Now he knew it was more. These four people - hell all of them - were a lot more than just coworkers who spent time together because the job demanded it. They were family - and families sometimes needed work. The job, the stress, the almighty quirks they all possessed were just part of their functionality.

‘And we function pretty damn well...’

 

~*~

 

The pain was gone.

Daniel moved and stretched on the soft surface, wincing as a multitude of aches made themselves known - but realizing in the same moment the pain was not nearly what it had been the last time he had been awake enough to feel it.

He vaguely remembered a few moments of movement, gentle arms carrying him to wherever he was now and laying him beside Jack. Vision had not been required for him to know whose warm body he could feel next to him, whose hand still grasped his arm as if he might still slip over into an abyss there would be no return from.

Jack.

Probing at their connection Daniel lingered long enough to assure himself Jack was deep within a much needed rest, that he was safe, before opening is eyes to see....

General Hammond.

“Daniel?” The general’s face was blurry, just outside Daniel’s clear field of vision, but the tone and the name were enough to reveal his concern. It was a tone Daniel only ever heard in times of greatest stress, and it never failed to amaze him.

He cared a lot about the general, had for a long time but had only really begun to realize there was more beneath the general’s gruff acceptance of him - the ultimate outsider in a military operation - than he could ever have expected so long ago freshly back from Abydos with his life turned upside down in ways they were all still dealing with.

Daniel blinked, trying to focus and opened his mouth to speak - only to find his voice an arid rasp that did not begin to project beyond his pillow. The general smiled and disappeared, only to return with a cup, complete with attached straw. Daniel sipped carefully at what turned out to be water, restraining himself with an effort. He had no idea how long it had been since the cave, but he was reasonably certain he had neither eaten nor drunk anything since - and he had spent far too much time in survival situations to believe greed would not come with consequences. He definitely did not need to add a stomachache to his other hurts.

“Sir?” Daniel winced at the barely improved sound of his voice and raised an apologetic eyebrow.

The general moved closer and Daniel could clearly see the lines of stress and exhaustion in the older man’s face. It occurred to him he had lost more than a portion of time out of his life. Something was putting the stricken expression on the general’s face and Daniel was fairly sure it was not simply due to a reaction to an offworld trip.

Clearing his throat, Daniel tried again. “What...?”

The general smiled tiredly. “What happened?”

At Daniel’s tired nod the general launched into a brusque explanation of events from the SGC point of view since their departure almost a week ago.

Daniel could barely suppress shock at the news. A week? He knew he had lost track of time, but to have lost so much....

When Daniel forced himself to refocus on the general’s words, he became aware of a hesitation in the older man’s voice as he described finding him and Jack after Klorel’s last physical attack. The general faltered entirely then as he moved away again, his voice becoming thick with emotion as it ground to a halt.

In a rush of concern, Daniel tried to sit up, to move forward and see what the general was trying to hide, only to be hit by a wave of grey vertigo. Hands touched him then, too many hands.

The general and....

Jack.

 

~*~

 

Distress.

The feeling permeated Jack’s dreamless exhaustion and brought his eyes open and his body upright at the same moment. Just in time to catch Daniel before he fell.

General Hammond was there, Jack vaguely remembered seeing him before, and together they got Daniel resituated on the bed. The younger man was breathing hard, and Jack could feel him fighting his exhaustion to stay awake, to find out...

Hammond had told him.

Or rather had not told him.

Daniel - being Daniel - had picked up on the older man’s distress and picked up the scent of incomplete knowledge - as sure and certain a red flag to Daniel as any bull had ever had the pleasure of charging.

“Easy, son…”

“Take it easy, Daniel…”

Jack smiled tiredly up at the general at their matching words and tones, and was a little shocked to see the depth of anxiety on his commander’s face. He really had been taking the general’s concern and friendship for granted lately - added it to the list of other things he vowed to start paying more attention to.

Daniel had settled down and was squinting up at both of them. “Either of you going to tell me…? “

Jack shifted back against the head of the bed, one hand automatically reaching to rest on Daniel’s shoulder.

How was he going to explain this?

“Just what do you remember, son? “ the general asked gently.

Daniel closed his eyes, one hand rising to rub tiredly at his forehead. “Um…last thing I remember is Klorel, tornado, tree….”

The general looked up to meet Jack’s gaze, clearly not understanding the disjointed words.

“There was a place we were stuck in,” Jack explained softly, “Klorel was there - and tried to kill Daniel. We managed to fight him, kill him I hope.”

Hammond nodded. “Connor is dead. We sent the body to the Tok’ra so they could remove Klorel, they’ll bury him on Vorash. We thought there would be too many questions if we brought him back to Earth for burial. The Nox are pretty sure Klorel won’t survive, but….”

“So what exactly were we fighting for in there?” Jack wondered, knowing his tone was bitter. All they had gone through and Klorel might still come back to haunt them someday.

“You were fighting for life and for light, ” Antaeus was standing just inside the door, eyes almost apologetic.

“So it was all for nothing?” Daniel whispered.

Antaeus stepped forward, gaze softening as it rested on Daniel’s sad face. “Not for nothing, no. If you had not succeeded you both would have died - permanently.”

Daniel’s eyes went wide at the Nox man’s choice of words, seeking Jack’s face in a clear question.

Jack opened the connection between them, and let Daniel see everything he had seen upon awakening in the Place after the battle on the cliff. Jack could feel his friend taking it all in, the feelings, the faces, the reality of having died once again - or come so close to it as to make no difference.

Daniel looked up again, gaze roaming from Jack to Antaeus to the general. “Sorry….”

With a shake of his hand on Daniel’s shoulder, Jack let the connection open even wider, let Daniel feel all the frustration, grief and anger Jack had suffered at coming so close to losing him filter through.

He could not believe - or perhaps he could - that Daniel was taking responsibility for Klorel’s evil that had nearly cost him his life.

The general had moved closer again so Daniel could see him clearly. “Never apologize for surviving, Daniel. We need you here, and I for one am damn glad the two of you pulled this miracle off.”

Daniel flushed at the unexpected praise, looking more than a little confused, and Jack could feel the exhaustion already pulling him back down into sleep.

The general said the words before Jack could. “Just sleep, Daniel. We’ll talk more later.”

With a nod, Daniel reached out a tired hand to pat the general’s arm where it rested on the bed next to him. “Thank you, sir…”

Grinning at the general, Jack watched the hand fall limp and knew his friend was already asleep.

“Our status, sir?”

The general smiled back and launched into a slightly more detailed report of everything that had happened since they had left Earth. Klorel’s device had been destroyed - deemed far too dangerous to leave intact, the Nox city was back where it belonged, the ha’tak on its way to Chulak to drop off Klorel’s jaffa - after a long talk with Teal’c - and the Nox stargate was once again in operation. Teams were coming and going freely as the SGC, the Tollan and the Tok’ra - suddenly not too busy to help out an ally - were all providing any necessary support to help the Nox.

Jack nodded with a wry smile at the general’s tone. He doubted the older man even realized his voice had unconsciously taken on the quiet timbre and soft rhythm of a bedtime story, or that his hand was gently stroking Daniel’s arm in a gesture both paternal and caring. As Jack leaned his head back and closed his own eyes tiredly, falling under the spell of his commander’s grandfatherly tone, he could see that Antaeus noticed it too. But he was pretty sure the Nox man would keep quiet about it.

‘Uncle George’s bedtime stories…wonder if we can get him to do briefings like this...’

 

~*~

 

Antaeus slipped out of the room quietly.

The general had fallen asleep in his chair only moments after O’Neill and Daniel and he had no wish to disturb any of them. There was still so much yet for the humans to face, separating the two joined men might yet prove as great a challenge as all the others they had faced. It would not be a pleasant experience and returning them to their previous state would inevitably be cause for much grief.

Though not quite so strong as a Nox joining, the bond between O’Neill and Daniel was very similar and the loss could be devastating. Lya believed it would be best for the two men to stay on their world for a few passings afterward, so the Nox might help them adjust. Now that the worst of the damage and disharmony Klorel had brought with him had been repaired, she believed the two might find a greater peace and understanding than they could hope to achieve by returning too soon to life in their much busier world.

The general had agreed with Lya, as had Teal’c and Carter, but the ultimate decision would be O’Neill and Daniel’s. Antaeus had been aware of O’Neill’s fear for Daniel’s sake, of the man’s need to cherish the friendship and the differences between them that made him and Daniel such strong albeit unusual friends.

O’Neill would stay. For Daniel.

Carter and Teal’c were waiting in the antechamber with Jacob. All of them looked much more rested, but the deep lines of concern told Antaeus how worried they still were as clearly as the thrumming discordance they projected throughout the atmosphere of the room. The past week had brought many revelations and stresses, many things to consider and process - to the Nox as well - and it would be some time before any of them could hope to achieve peace.

Daniel had said it was all for nothing, but he was wrong.

Everything the humans had gone through, all the efforts to save them, all their own efforts to save themselves and the Nox had - and would continue to have - far-reaching effects. The Tok’ra, the Tollan, and the Nox had all been forced to examine their policy toward the Earth people who had fought so hard for the sake of good. The Earth people had accomplished many things the Tok’ra and the Alliance had not in many generations due to their isolation. If nothing else, they were learning that choosing not to engage the enemy - in this case the goa’uld, and living apart under protections unavailable to those who daily struggled in their stead was not the only answer - and likely not the best answer. They were protected, yes, but had grown complacent with it. Isolation bred distance, distance a sense of superiority that had helped them forget what it was to open their hearts and risk much for the sake of others. It was a lesson they had needed learning and Antaeus hoped they all - including the humans - would benefit from it in future.

Carter was looking up at him and Antaeus realized he had been far too lost in his thoughts to realize both members of SG1 were growing fearful at his distraction.

Shaking his head slightly, Antaeus apologized. “They are well. Resting. As is your General Hammond.”

Carter sighed deeply, her face regaining its color. Teal’c, while not quite so demonstrative, relaxed his tense stance.

Regaining her seat, Carter asked. “They’re really okay?”

Antaeus smiled gently, all the humans had been informed of the battle yet to come. “Perhaps not yet, but I believe they will be.”

“As do I,” assured the jaffa, in a tone allowing no argument.

Carter looked at Teal’c, her eyes softening in agreement though they lost none of their concern.

“Yeah. They will be.”

 

 

Chapter 23

Bend low, O dusky Night,
  And give my spirit rest....

 

~ Louise Chandler Moulton

~*~

 

 

The colonel was on.

As light hearted and happy as Janet had seen him in too long a time, and so obviously focused on keeping Daniel distracted, she was amazed the archaeologist seemed so oblivious.

The Nox were going to attempt separation at sunset. Though Daniel was largely recovered from his injuries, he was still weak and running a fever - a situation Lya said would not improve until the two were no longer connected. Janet still had no clue as to the cause; in fact, she was taking copious readings and notes she knew were beginning to irritate both men, but she hoped someday to figure exactly what Klorel’s device had done to her friends.

The colonel had not left Daniel’s side for more than the few minutes it took to use the facilities or wash up when Daniel had teasingly complained about his distinctive odor. Janet had seen through that particular ruse and returned from escorting the colonel to the washing area to find Daniel talking to the general about ‘arrangements’. It had been her first indication that Daniel understood the dangers they faced in what was now so close to happening.

The colonel understood it too, Janet was sure of it. Which was why he was playing the fool and looking so worried whenever he thought no one was looking. Janet had checked in on the pair the night before to find the colonel awake but lost in deep and distracted thought, sitting up in the bed with one hand resting on Daniel’s shoulder - a gesture that seemed to have become habitual from before the first moment he had awakened when Daniel - died.

Janet turned away from the pair at the intrusion of the memory.

She had been in the position before of feeling life slip away literally beneath her hands, had come close to it before with several members of SG1. But this had been worse, not just a close call - the real thing. She had felt Daniel’s heart stop beating beneath her hands, giving up the valiant struggle they had all helplessly watched over throughout the long day and night.

A shiver ran down her spine. In another place and time the events surrounding Daniel’s revival would have been deemed miraculous, or demonic. In her own career in medicine she had never seen anything remotely close to it.

Glancing back toward the bed she could see Daniel was lying down again and the colonel was setting aside the nearly empty bowl of food. In a few hours they would face the separation, for now though they would rest together and prepare for what might come.

 

~*~

 

Sam hovered at the door to the chamber where the colonel and Daniel rested. They were awake, she could hear quiet voices talking fairly constantly and even the occasional soft laugh.

They were only hours away from the procedure that would either return them to normal, or take Daniel and possibly the colonel away from them for good. Sam could not help the feeling of living on borrowed time, the feeling that they had only just gotten the rest of their team back to lose them again.

‘Oh, and that kind of thinking is really helpful...’

Sam tried to shake off her melancholy, but it was as if her optimism had been stretched to the limit in the past week and would go no further no matter what she tried.

“Samantha?”

Sam knew the quiet tone at once; no one said her name quite like - Narim.

Turning toward the Tollan man, Sam felt her control give, knew her face revealed the turmoil in her mind and heart. Without a word, Narim was by her side and taking her in his arms in a gesture that had nothing to do with the unresolved feelings between them and everything to do with friendship. Sam accepted the comfort with a sigh, it felt good to simply give in to her worry, to the awful feeling of being in a position where she could do nothing at all to help her friends.

“All will be well, Samantha.” Narim’s gentle voice sounded so certain. She wanted to believe him, but her mind would not stop providing a myriad of ‘what ifs’ - all of them with endings that were far from happy.

Sam nodded, not because she particularly believed Narim, but because she needed to. If they were going to get through the next few hours a few good thoughts might help - a few prayers as well.

~*~

 

Watching Carter and the Tollan, Narim, walk out of the antechamber, Lya sighed.

She was glad her friend had found a source of comfort; she had come to like the human woman very much and did not like to see her so upset. They were all upset; the night would bring an uncertain fate for two they cared greatly for.

All who were not needed elsewhere had gathered to help provide the energy necessary to help restore O’Neill and Daniel. She and her family would provide the focus for that energy; performing the delicate task of restoring each man to his own mind and soul while closing the connection formed in the caves to help them survive the crisis. As well as they knew the two humans, Lya was yet concerned that they would upset the delicate balance between these two friends.

With a quiet knock, she entered the room to find O’Neill and Daniel laughing softly. Daniel still looked very pale and she could feel the weakness the fever caused permeating his body, draining him steadily now. Though they had healed the massive physical injuries, Daniel had no resources left to help him regain his energy, even the bond with O’Neill - while it was helping - was not enough.

O’Neill looked up almost warily. “Is it time?”

Lya shook her head. “Soon. A few turnings more. I came to ask if you might need anything, or if you have questions we have not answered well enough.”

O’Neill shook his head even as Daniel nodded. “How much will we remember?”

Lya was puzzled by O’Neill’s strong reaction to the soft words, but chose not to pry. “If all goes well you should remember it all, though the intensity might fade with time. Unless you prefer not to?”

“No!”

“No...”

The certainty of both men was quite strong and Lya smiled in understanding. As terrible as the experience had been, both wanted to retain the lessons learned and the ground rediscovered in the process.

It was good.

 

~*~

 

He had no idea why he had been summoned, but every step brought with it a sense of foreboding. They were less than an hour from sunset, and the fact that Daniel Jackson would need to speak with him so urgently now caused Teal’c much concern.

Entering the room, Teal’c was surprised to find Daniel Jackson was alone.

O’Neill had been most vigilant in staying as close as possible to their young friend, providing strength through their unique bond in an odd enhancement of their usual arrangement when one or the other was ill or injured; where one was, the other was rarely far away. The means had been changed by Klorel’s device, but not the method.

“Teal’c?” Daniel Jackson was looking up in concern and Teal’c realized he had let his mind wander.

With a half-smile of apology, Teal’c moved forward to sit beside the bed.

“You are well, Daniel Jackson?”

The young archaeologist did not meet Teal’c’s eyes as he nodded and licked his lips before speaking, an evasive maneuver Teal’c had long ago discerned. Looking closely, Teal’c could see the flush of fever on the pale face before him and could almost feel the steady drain of Daniel Jackson’s strength.

“I’m okay. Well, a little worried.” Daniel Jackson’s gaze slid in the direction of the washing area and Teal’c realized it was not accidental they were meeting alone.

“For O’Neill?”

Daniel Jackson nodded, smiling slightly and seeming relieved he would not have to explain. Teal’c understood quite well. The Nox had been most forthcoming concerning the separation process; the risks were great - if not of death then of essential change in the two men and their friendship. Knowing Daniel Jackson, Teal’c was sure his fear of the second possibility would be greater.

“Teal’c, if something happens...”

“Nothing will happen, Daniel Jackson. You will be well and will return to SG1 as before.” Teal’c hoped his voice conveyed the optimism he felt deep inside. The risks were great, true, but Teal’c had seen his friends overcome much more and in worse situations. He believed in the power of that friendship, he just needed to be sure Daniel Jackson did as well.

The younger man was nodding. “I want to believe that, I do, but ‘if’....”

“’If’ something should happen, you may rely on me to protect our friends and continue our mission.”

Daniel Jackson was nodding, smiling sadly. “Thank you, Teal’c. You know, I don’t want to - go - without knowing you understand that I don’t blame you for Sha’re. Not really. I understand why it had to happen, it was just...”

“Difficult?” Teal’c offered, receiving a tired, but grateful nod in return.

“Yeah...still is sometimes...but it isn’t you....” Daniel Jackson was nodding off even as he fought to force the words out. “Thank you, my friend....”

Teal’c knew Daniel Jackson believed what he was saying. Most of the time Teal’c believed it as well, but he also knew the situation between the two of them was many-layered, twined about Sha’re’s choosing, Sha’re’s death, and the respect both men held for one another. Darkness lingered at the edges, a darkness held back only by the sheer will of both men who worked together for the light of freedom from the goa’uld. He cared deeply for Daniel Jackson, and knew they younger man felt the same, but theirs was a friendship built above guilt, anger, and loss; only by choosing the light did they maintain it.

“Rest well, my friend. All will be well...” Teal’c touched Daniel Jackson’s warm forehead, letting his hand lay there for a long moment as he sent silent strength to the sleeping man.

“All will be well....” he whispered.

~*~

 

Sunset was less than an hour away. Jack shifted on the bed, watching Daniel sleep restlessly. Jack thought it possible his own disquieting thoughts were affecting his friend’s dreams but, hard as he tried, he could not stop them. He had come back from cleaning up just in time to catch the end of Daniel and Teal’c’s conversation. He had known Daniel was as afraid as he was of what might happen tonight, but to know Daniel was also making plans in case he did not survive was - eerie.

‘We’ve done the death thing, Daniel. You’ve got to believe we aren’t going to do it again.’

Daniel shifted beside him, moaning softly as Jack picked up on dreams of darkness. He tightened the hand resting on Daniel’s shoulder, and tried out their newfound ability to actually project images through their connection. Jack had been using it on and off through the day to keep Daniel distracted by memories of things they had seen in the past four years, memories of the good and the not so good. It had helped and was a hell of a lot easier than talking about them. The odd thing was Daniel was one of the very few people Jack had ever felt comfortable talking to about the heavy stuff; he had just forgotten it for a while.

He would not forget again.

Feeling like he was being watched, Jack looked down to meet the bloodshot blue of Daniel’s tired eyes upon him.

“Hey...”

“Jack? You okay?”

Shaking his head, Jack smiled wryly. “Not bad for a guy about to get his head examined....”

The comment earned him a breath of a laugh and a nod. “How long?”

Checking his watch, Jack winced as he realized the time. “Twenty minutes.”

Daniel nodded and moved to sit up. Jack shifted a little to help, feeling the trembling effort the small movement was costing his friend. Once upright and leaning against the pillows Jack hastily propped behind him, Daniel nodded, breath coming hard. “I’m okay...”

“Right.” It was so damn obvious Daniel was about as far from okay as he could get and still be breathing, Jack had to swallow hard against the fear and anger rising up inside him.

“Jack?” Daniel’s voice was soft and concerned. “Whatever happens...”

Jack shook his head sharply. “No. We are not having this conversation, not again.”

Daniel’s eyes narrowed, and Jack could almost see the events of their little jaunt in the Place as the memory replayed itself. Daniel nodded again. “Okay. Just so you know...”

Slipping around to sit beside Daniel, Jack threw an arm around the other man’s shoulders and drew him close in an enveloping hug. “I know, Daniel. You bet I know...”

 

 

Chapter 24

When will the dead world cease to dream,
  When will the morning break?

 

~ William Winter

~*~

 

 

 

Nefreyu watched the elders pace.

The human leader, Hammond, had started it. Within moments the Tollan elder had begun a counterpoint, then the Tok’ra, Jacob. Nefreyu could feel the positive energy emanating from the three, indeed from all assembled. Teal’c and Carter were still, though - almost too still - but Nefreyu felt the utter concentration of both on their friends within the Place of Dreams.

None were allowed to enter, not even Nefreyu to his consternation. With the open wall sealed, the Place possessed the shielding necessary to protect all involved in the rejoining, but none could enter who were not directly needed. The human doctor had been allowed inside, but she was the only one beyond Nefreyu’s family.

Despite his parents’ fears, Nefreyu understood the danger, but he had seen O’Neill and Daniel face much at the demon’s hands. He believed in them. They would survive.

 

~*~

 

‘Getting dizzy here, Jacob...’

The comment was so unexpected, Jacob missed a step in his ordered pacing and nearly walked into George. Recapturing the unconscious rhythm he and the others had fallen into, Jacob cast a disapproving but apologetic thought to his symbiote. He was in no mood to play.

He had thought the night Daniel almost - ‘almost hell’ - died had been the worst they would face in this situation.

He’d been wrong.

Sam sat apart with Teal’c, completely unaware of Narim’s concerned stare that rarely wavered from her face. Jacob almost felt sorry for the young man who was so obviously smitten with his daughter. After some hard-learned lessons, Jacob had come to realize Sam was living her first love - and anything else was destined to take a back seat to it. Omoc knew, both Narim’s feelings and the probability those emotions would be returned in any significant way in the near future. Trading a look with the Tollan commander, Jacob realized they were at a complete understanding. Narim would be fine; Omoc would see to it. And, whatever happened in the next few hours, Jacob would make sure Sam was as well.

The other SGC members stood on either side of the door, an impromptu honor guard awaiting success - or failure. Shivering at the thought, Jacob hoped they would not become a burial detail.

‘C’mon, guys....if anyone can do this, you can.’

Jacob felt Selmak’s agreement, and thanked his symbiote for once again being the compassionate being s/he was. The best of friends and the best of company.

‘All will be well, Jacob.’

Jacob smiled wryly to himself, ‘Yeah, I keep hearing that.’

‘Then perhaps you should believe...’

 

~*~

 

The pathways were complex, rich with shared experience and shared feeling. These two lives under their hands were so closely entwined it was difficult to discern where one soul ended and the other began, and the recent experiences had only served to strengthen those bonds. Opher feared the task, feared something essential would be lost in the separation.

But young Daniel’s life depended on it - and by extension, O’Neill’s; if Daniel died with the connection intact, then in all probability so would O’Neill. Even if the older human survived, he would slowly go mad with the loss. Neither option was acceptable; they had to try.

Before they had begun, Daniel had looked directly at O’Neill, his level gaze full of quiet confidence all save Doctor Fraiser could feel did not quite reach his soul. O’Neill’s fear had been just as great and wholly directed at his friend.

The task was painstakingly slow, finding each bond and severing it, taking care to ensure the bond was one of Klorel’s making and not the two men’s own. Pain resonated throughout all of them at each break, an almost physical grief at the lack of closeness they had come to rely on in so short a time. As Opher and Antaeus completed each break, Lya followed with soothing comfort and reassurance, attempting to lessen the shock.

It felt as if they had been working for days, though Opher knew it had not been so very long at all. They were all shaking with the effort of the task and the need to be so terribly delicate as they proceeded.

Opher was most impressed by the measure of both men, by the richness of their lives and experience. For the first time in his very long life he felt as if he were intruding in places where he had no right to be. To some degree, he had feared the strangeness of the humans’ minds, but now he realized they were not so very different from the Nox themselves. Less evolved, perhaps, but strong in their commitment to protecting their world and others.

The Place seemed to agree, energy flowed from the walls, bracing them all when their own energies threatened to fail them. The experience was quite unlike anything Opher had ever encountered and he knew it would be very many passings work trying to understand.

But it would be worth it.

 

~*~

 

‘Join the SGC, have your world view blown all to hell....’

Her ex-husband may have believed he knew what ‘this man’s army’ was all about, but the redneck bastard had never dreamed of the things she dealt with on an almost daily basis.

Janet had certainly faced a great many strange things in her time with the Stargate Project, but this definitely had to list among the strangest. From her point of view, sitting on the floor opposite the Nox and monitoring the conditions of her friends, it appeared very little was happening. If not for the erratic readings of the instruments and monitors, and the taut, effort-strained bodies of the three Nox so obviously expending energy on some unseen level, Janet would doubt anything at all was happening to help the colonel and Daniel.

So far the physical effects were negligible. There were occasional stirrings, as if they were in pain and Janet found herself imagining brain surgery on a telekinetic level. But the Nox were not ‘operating’ on her friends’ brains, but on something far more vital to Janet’s way of thinking. If ever there were two people tuned into their souls, these were the ones. This had to come out well; it simply had to.

Checking her watch, Janet noted they had just entered into the third hour of the procedure. Surely something would happen soon...

Daniel screamed. Long, low, keening...as if he had just lost.....

Janet got her stethoscope situated and leaned down to take a reading. Daniel’s heart was racing. The screaming died to breathless gasps as Daniel gulped in air that did not seem to be helping at all. The Nox were awake now and had kneeled down to stroke comforting hands over both men’s bodies. It seemed to be helping so Janet joined in, letting her hands knead Daniel’s shoulder in a mirror of the gesture she had seen the colonel use so often over the past few days.

By slow degrees, Daniel finally settled into restless sleep.

Looking up into the weary faces of the three Nox, Janet let her expression beg the question.

Antaeus smiled grimly, “We can only wait and see.”

 

 

Chapter 25

God gives quietness at last.

  ~ John Greenleaf Whittier

~*~

 

 

He was cold. Worse - he was alone. The subconscious that was Jack no longer lingered within easy reach, seemed not to be there at all though he could feel the other man’s body lying close to his own. Even that physical warmth was not enough to erase the chill that had settled over him.

He had known this would happen; Lya had carefully explained what they would be feeling after the separation and Daniel knew he should just be grateful to be alive.

But he was - alone.

Alone in a way he had never expected to be again in his life - and it hurt. A deep abiding ache that was all too reminiscent of other times in his life....

Daniel felt something on his shoulder, a pressure both steady and sure and he forced his eyes open to find Jack’s deep brown gaze hovering directly above him.

Not alone.

Jack was here.

Still.

Again.

Maybe not in the way he had been before, but here. Daniel tried to smile, shook his head when he realized he was not the least bit sure he had any muscle control left and let his eyes slide closed again.

The pressure on his shoulder increased again.

Jack understood.

 

~*~

 

Hammond had spoken; they were going back - without the colonel and Daniel.

Sam understood the reasons and that it was only going to be for a few days, after which they were all going to be treated to a long leave at Hammond’s own cabin in the mountains. Sam nonetheless could not shake the feeling that it was somehow wrong. They were a team; they needed to be together.

Now, Sam peeked in on her friends, having dodged the dual watchdogs of Fraiser and Lya while they were conferring about something in the far corner of the outer room.

Daniel looked, not exactly better - but less fragile.

Janet had told them the fever had broken almost at the same time as the connection had been severed. Sam still remembered the sound of Daniel’s scream, a sound that had brought them all to their feet in sudden fear that the worst had happened: that Daniel was dead - again.

The colonel was sleeping comfortably, his arm loosely slung over Daniel’s chest in a gesture she remembered from the cave. Neither time had been because he had to - though the physical necessity had been greater then - but this time, Sam could feel something more. Something she had not felt between the two men since their earliest days as a team. Something both innocent and lost, two souls coming together on a level that did not require the artificial, enhanced connection. Friendship. Pure. Simple. Unique. Treasured. Sighing at the confirmation, Sam knelt down beside the two and just watched.

A small noise beside her brought Sam’s eyes up to meet Lya’s smiling ones. The Nox woman moved to kneel gracefully beside her.

“You have learned.”

There was no need to ask what Lya believed she had learned; Sam clearly recalled their conversation back in the cave. With a brief glance back toward the bed, Sam nodded. “Yeah, I think I have. Thank you.”

Lya looked confused.

Sam shrugged, not entirely sure how to put into words everything they had all been through in the past days. “Just thank you.”

With a smile, Lya laid her small hand on Sam’s shoulder, a gesture whose significance was not lost on Sam.

“You are most welcome, my friend.”

 

~*~

 

George and Jacob had walked back to the Tollan ship to see Omoc and Narim off.

They owed a great deal to the two Tollan and their willingness to go beyond the strict letter of their law and come through for them when they needed them so badly. He and Omoc had talked well into the night and if they had not precisely changed the course of Tollan policy toward Earth, George was fairly confident they at least had a voice now among the Tollan hierarchy.

As they trudged back across the forest toward the stargate, he and Jacob had fallen into an easy silence, the silence of long-time friends who no longer required the filling of spaces with unnecessary noise. George wanted to thank his friend for all his help, but realized Jacob already knew - just as George knew his friend would have been there even if his daughter had not been among the missing.

“Narim’s a nice boy,” George commented idly.

Jacob’s sharp look told George all he needed to know about Jacob’s thoughts on the prospect of Narim as a possible son in law material.

There was a sharp cough from Jacob. “You got something to say, George?”

George gave Jacob his best ‘I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about’ look, the one that had been known to fool alien intelligences and even Washington bureaucrats into believing Major General George Hammond was far more deceivable than he knew he could appear. It was a gift he had practiced over many long years of playing the political games that seemed to thrive in the shark pool of the upper echelons of every branch of service, including the executive one.

Jacob laughed outright, shaking his head before his expression grew serious.

“It was a close one, George.”

Keeping his gaze on the ground, George felt the memory of a flatline beep wash over him, followed quickly by a wrenching, bone chilling scream he had been certain meant precisely the same thing.

“A damn sight closer than I ever want to get again....”

Jacob’s hand came up to rest on George’s shoulder as they walked, tightening in wordless understanding that more likely than not they would face many more close calls, and someday SG1s luck could run out.

With a nod, George accepted it, the gesture, the friendship, and the sad truth. But he could hope, they both could, that their family would continue to keep pulling out the miracles and keep coming home for a long time to come.

 

~*~

 

The trees seemed to climb into the sky miles above them.

Jack grinned at the thought, knowing it was an illusion fostered by lying so still at the base of one of the biggest ones.

Three days they had been here, not needing to lift a hand for more than meals. It was exactly what they needed. Daniel was stronger, still tiring easily and still coming awake from his rest with nightmares of Klorel and darkness, and loneliness. Jack had stayed nearby, still slept beside his friend every night and had even joked that Feretti would be having a field day cranking up the rumor mill about it by the time they got back. Daniel had laughed softly, apologizing in a way that told Jack rumors were the least of his worries and that he had faith in Jack’s ability to quash any rumors at their source - namely Feretti’s head.

Jack looked across at Daniel, sleeping again on the blankets Lya and Antaeus had put here for them.

The Nox had been quietly unobtrusive, never further than a call if they were needed but otherwise letting the two men rest and reconnect in the way they had always known - before Klorel.

Jack was glad for the time, glad for the chance to put aside the worries and concerns that had driven him so relentlessly in the past months. Jack had a feeling they would be a long time getting back to where they had been, but he had resolved they would do it. They were taking the first steps now, steps Jack had every intention of expanding into a journey.

The destination was more than worth it.

Letting his hand find its way to Daniel’s shoulder, Jack sighed at the memory of how close they had come to letting the darkness win - not the darkness Klorel had come to personify but the darkness within themselves. The darkness that had been allowed to grow while they let life live them rather than the other way around as it should be.

‘But we know better now, right, Danny?’

Daniel stirred a little, muttering under his breath at some dream shadow that had him frowning in his sleep. Jack tightened his grip and watched the frown fade away as Daniel rolled over and sank into a deeper sleep.

“Thanks, Jack...” The barely whispered words came out on a sighing breath, and Jack had to look to make sure Daniel was really asleep.

‘Doesn’t matter, ’ he thought. ‘Inside or out.... the words aren’t what’s important anyway.’

Words had never been a big part of who they were, it was the comfortable way they could share them - from darkest demons to greatest triumphs to white hot disagreements - and still keep a solid foundation.

Jack realized he had never spoken truer words than he had that day when he had grinned his way back onto the team he had himself pulled the rug out from under in order to convince their allies of the SGC’s honesty. His team had cut him off at the knees, well Daniel had, but the others had followed his lead and made Jack squirm. Not for too long, granted, but he had taken it in stride, groveled where necessary and partied all night with them when things finally fell back into place.

They would keep holding back the shadows, both the inner and outer sorts, because that was what they did. They were a team, they were a family, and together they would keep fighting the darkness.

For as long as it took.

 

The End