Title: A Brand New Game
Status: Complete
Author: Jmas
Category: Drama, angst, H/C
Rating: PG..mostly because of Jack
Email: jmasg1@bellsouth.net
Archive: Stargate Fan, Heliopolis, Belle, Place of Our Legacy
Disclaimer: Characters are property of MGM, etc.
Spoilers: Almost every episode up to and including Gamekeeper.
Summary:Games are all too real in the minds of those who play
them...
Author's note: More insight, such as it may be, into the inner
workings of Jack and Daniel...such a lovely and strange place
to dwell....
This is for Brenda...the wonder beta. And for Yum@, who is
in my thoughts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Part One: Jack
This shit is getting old....fast.
It's bad enough what with all the stuff we've been through
lately to be stuck on base this long with no breaks, but to
have to argue with Hammond that my team has been pushed way
beyond any reasonable limits for way too long....
In the past month, we've all been put through a couple of
different kinds of hell. Daniel almost died, Carter got that
little Tok'ra guest, Daniel got zatted...by Teal'c no less,
we got sent to prison, Daniel almost got the life squeezed
out of him by that big smelly guy. Not to mention our last
mission to the Gamekeeper's planet where Daniel and I got to
relive a couple of our worst nightmares in that twisted do-over
virtual reality.
As I make my way to my Jeep, I notice that Carter and Daniel
have already left and pray that the old girl starts for once
or I'll be commandeering a staff car to take me home. The engine
grinds a few times, but finally catches and I am out of here....
..........................................................
The road down from the mountain requires a good driver to
pay attention at the best of times. At night and as tired as
I am, I have to fight to stay focused on keeping the Jeep between
the lines. When I catch myself blinking, I decide I'd better
put the window down and let the cool air keep me alert. I glance
down at the dash clock...1 a.m...and look up just in time to
see a car stopped dead in the road....
I hit the brakes hard, jerking the wheel sharply left and
come to a stop just inches from the stupid jerk who....
Daniel?
That's Daniel's car. What the...?
I take a deep breath to settle my already jangled nerves and
jump out of the Jeep. Daniel better be okay because I am really
going to chew his ass for dinner if he hasn't got a damn good
reason for almost killing us both...
He's there in the car, slumped over the wheel. Asleep? I check
his pulse...it's racing as if he's just run a mile, not passed
out behind the wheel of his car...
He starts to stir a little at my touch...
"Daniel?" I try to keep my voice low and steady,
something isn't quite right here....
Daniel raises his head, blinking at me but not like he's really
seeing much.
"Jack?" Daniel's voice is barely audible here in
the quiet darkness of the road.
"Yeah, it's me, buddy. What the hell happened?"
I'm starting to get a little worried here. This isn't like
Daniel at all. I've seen Daniel push himself beyond normal
human capacity repeatedly, but I've never seen him so far gone
that he couldn't function as long as he needed to. Could he
be sick?
Daniel's shaking his head at me. "What happened?"
I don't know if he's repeating my question...or if he just
didn't hear it. I shift him around so I can get him out of
the car; no way is he doing anymore driving tonight.
"C'mon, Danny, let's get you into my car..."
For once he doesn't argue with me, letting me put him into
the front seat of the Jeep with a totally unexpected docility.
By the time I get back from parking his car on the side of
the road, Daniel is curled up in the seat, dead to the world.
This is just so out of character for Daniel, but considering
everything that's happened lately maybe he finally *has* reached
his limit. Funny, I never really thought he had any. I know
he seems to think he doesn't.
One sure thing, if I take him back to his apartment he's just
going to wind up brooding; not eating, not sleeping....
That last mission to the Keeper's planet was an emotional
wringer for both of us....
It was bad enough for me to watch my unit die, again and again,
in that instant replay, but for Daniel to watch his parents
get crushed under that coverstone....
That still blows my mind. He'd never said anything about 'how'
his parents died. Hell, he never said anything about them dying
at all. I knew, of course, because I've seen his personnel
file...but that was only the bare facts; "Dr. Daniel Jackson
was orphaned as a child." That file doesn't say anything
about the fact that the boy who was Daniel stood there and
watched it happen, heard the screams....
God...I can't imagine....
Well, I guess I can...but he was just a kid. Kids shouldn't
have to deal with stuff like that. Kids should have fun, be
loved, have a chance....
I kill that train of thought right there. That's too much
heavy thinking on an empty stomach.
Spotting a pizza place that's still open, I pull into the
drive-through. Looking over at Daniel as I place my order,
I'm struck once again by how young Daniel looks when he's asleep.
The fine lines of his face are relaxed and far more open in
sleep than when he's awake. When he's awake Daniel's brain
is going full tilt at the latest windmill...usually closely
followed by his speeding body...and his eyes look too haunted
to be mistaken as young. Knowing what I do now, I doubt Daniel
ever really *was* a kid...
As I finally pull into my driveway, I catch myself steeling
my nerves. Daniel's had a little rest now; sure as I'm sitting
here he is going to argue with my decision to bring him home....
Figuring it won't get better with waiting, I reach over and
shake him a little bit.
He wakes up with a start, bumping his head on the door glass. "Ow...Jack?"
"Let's...eat?" I say a little lamely. Maybe food
can sooth an irate scientist just like that savage beast everybody
talks about.
"Jack..." Daniel's blinking, still not taking in
much of his surroundings. "How did...?"
"You fell asleep....?" I lead him off, but, unlike
usual, he's not really catching the uptake. This is getting
a little too weird...
"C'mon," I make it an order. "I want to check
you out, make sure you didn't hurt yourself back there."
Daniel weaves his way into the house and collapses on my couch.
Putting down the pizza box, I bend over him and check for bumps
and bruises, but I don't see anything. Daniel is just laying
there with his eyes closed, but I don't think he's asleep again.
"Danny, come on...let's eat first, then we can crash
for two days."
He lifts a hand, barely, to let me know he hears me, but makes
no further moves.
I go into the kitchen and bring back napkins and a couple
of beers. Daniel hasn't moved and is snoring softly, asleep
again...
I decide to let him sleep....for now. If he's still this out
of it tomorrow, our friendly neighborhood SGC doc is going
to get an early morning phone call....
Part Two: Daniel
Sha'uri tells me again that Jack and Skaara are back from
their hunt. She knows how wrapped up I can get in my work and
has learned to be amazingly tolerant of my less attentive moods.
After three years she should be...
I take her into my arms, enjoying the feel of her swollen
stomach against mine. Our second child nudges me as I hold
its mother close. I'm hoping for a girl this time, as spirited
and darkly beautiful as Sha'uri.
I'm glad Jack decided to stay with us on Abydos. The kinship
he's found here with these desert people is every bit as strong
as my own. They look to him now as a leadership figure, just
as they look to me for knowledge. We've both come to love and
respect the people of Abydos for the joy and simple pleasure
they find in every moment...thousands of years of slavery has
taught them to appreciate every small moment of life. A talent
neither Jack nor I had opportunity to learn on Earth.
As Sha'uri and I walk back towards the village, I can't help
but swallow at the bittersweet feeling that this shouldn't
be happening...I don't deserve this happiness. Sha'uri smiles
at me in her understanding way. She knows me; she's the best
part of me, how could she not know?
Jack smiles at me as we come into the communal area. I can
see the hunt was extremely successful and congratulate him
in the Abydonian language he's been working so hard to master.
He responds correctly with just a trace of an accent and smiles
even more broadly.
The young men take the bounty of the hunt outside for cleaning
and we settle around the central fire pit with a cup of Skaara's
special brew...well-watered of course. Jack tells us about
the hunt and the discovery of a hidden room. Not so long ago
I would have jumped at the chance to check something like this
out, but now...it feels me with a mind numbing fear...
Jack looks at me strangely, brushing the long hair out of
his eyes in a gesture which should seem familiar but, somehow,
isn't. I feel a sudden chill and Jack looks at me in concern...a
look I *do* know all too well. I can't shake the feeling that
something is very wrong...I shouldn't be here...
I *shouldn't* be this happy...
I should be....
..........................................................
"Daniel?"
Jack's voice. Where am I? What happened?
I can't quite get enough focus to ask him, but he answers
as if I had.
"It's okay, Daniel. You passed out."
I did? I don't remember....
I open my eyes and for a moment I see Jack in street clothes
with short hair, still looking at me in that concerned way
that seems more familiar, more comfortable, than the reality
I should know so well...then the image is gone..and Jack is
there in his dusty Abydonian robes, long hair framing his face...
I look at Sha'uri next to him and see her eyes glowing, dead
to me....gone to a place where I can never find her...
I close my eyes again as the darkness threatens to return...
*This is real.*
*Here.*
*Now.*
*It has to be...*
Jack is rattling on about the room they found, describing
curved golden walls covered in glyphs....
It sounds so...
"It's a map." I blurt it out before I'm even aware
of thinking it. I open my eyes to meet Jack's narrowed ones.
He feels it, too.
This is more than just an odd feeling of deja vu; something
isn't right.
Worse than that...
Something isn't real...
Part three: Jack
What the...? Now *that* was a weird dream....
Me and Daniel still on Abydos...Daniel a father....
Entirely too Twilight Zone.
I can see Daniel having a dream like that, but me?
Speaking of Daniel...
I get up quickly, checking the clock as I go..3 a.m...Damn.
This leave is not turning out as planned..
Daniel's still on the couch, mumbling something in his sleep.
I decide to wake him up, make sure he's okay. If nothing else
he needs to get into a real bed.
"Danny?"
I jump back as he shoots up like a rocket in terminal lift-off
mode...
"Jack!"
As I grab hold of him to keep him from falling, he's looking
around the dark room wildly, as if he isn't quite sure where
he is.
"Whoa there, Danny. It's okay...I'm here..." I tighten
my grip a little, trying to tune him into the here and now.
I remember him having dreams like this early on, just after
Chulak; dreams that would bring him awake in a cold sweat,
dreams of being helpless ...hopeless...but I haven't seen him
like this in a long time.
He's still shaking, but his breath is coming slower. I'm still
whispering to him, talking him down. He's nodding his head
now as he rubs his eyes, trying to chase the last of the ghosts
away.
"I'm okay...I'm okay..."
I don't know if he's trying to convince me or himself, but
it doesn't seem to be working on either front. At least he
seems alert for the first time since I found him on that road.
Too bad it took something like this to get him there...
I go to the kitchen a throw together some coffee and hear
him stumbling to the bathroom. By the time the machine sputters
out its last drop, he comes into the kitchen and plants himself
at the counter. He looks a little better, but there are dark
smudges around his eyes and he acts like the lights are too
bright...
Daniel sits there gulping at that coffee like he can't wake
up fast enough. Just from what I saw at my end of things, I
can't say as I blame him. He gives me a half-nod, telling me
he's okay, but I can see that he isn't. I guess it's just as
obvious from my expression that I don't quite believe him there.
He gives me that quirky little head shake that says 'whatever'
and gets up to refill his cup. He keeps this up and he'll never
sleep, but I guess that's what he's got in mind.
"Daniel." I drawl it out; he knows my tones of voice
well enough by now. This one says talk to me.
He looks at me directly for the first time, the shadows of
his dream still lurk there in his eyes. Whatever it was hurt
him, scared him in a way that he isn't ready to talk about.
I can accept that...for now. I go to the bathroom and bring
back two of those little blue OTC sleep aid pills. He looks
at them like they're contagious, but takes them anyway.
"C'mon," I make it an order.
I lead him into the guest room and take away his coffee.
"Jack...?" His tone is quiet, questioning.
"Yeah, Danny?"
"When's the last time you had long hair?"
What the....
Nah...I need some more sleep....
...........................................................................................................
"Fire!"
Maybourne yells it out as if on a battle field....
As Daniel stands there slightly down-ramp from Lya....who
is in the process of making the Tollans disappear....I can't
believe my ears. Daniel looks up at Maybourne with that dismissive,
what-an-asshole expression I've already become all-too familiar
with and I start to laugh in agreement....when I hear the shot.
Somehow the commmanding tone of Maybourne's voice and the
ill-luck that seems to follow Daniel like a constant companion
have once again conspired against my well-meaning friend...
Daniel stands there for just a moment, looking up toward me
in confusion...his head shaking slightly. Then he looks down
at his hands which are covered in blood...his blood.
I'm down the stairs in a flash, bursting through the gateroom
door just in time to see Daniel fall to his knees. Lya is gone,
but I don't think she could have seen what happened; she wouldn't
have left Daniel like this....
I reach Daniel in time to catch him before he falls....
"Jack?" The 'why' implied in Daniel's tone is as
much a mystery to me as it is to him. Why a power-hungry jerk
like Maybourne ever got placed in a position of power...a position
to hurt innocent people with a single word....is beyond my
comprehension.
The bullet has hit Daniel almost dead center in the upper
left chest...all too close to that amazing heart....
I'm vaguely aware of several things happening at once: Teal'c
takes down the unintentional shooter with one blow, Hammond
calls a medical emergency...finally, and Maybourne is looking
down at us with a look of such total satisfaction on his face
that I just want to go up there and shove that look up his
supercilious ass.
Teal'c punched out the wrong guy. That kid may have held the
gun, but Maybourne pulled the trigger...
Daniel slumps in my grasp and I reach for a pulse...
Nothing.
God...
"Daniel!"
Part 4: Daniel
"Daniel!"
God...I thought....I *was* dead...What a dream...
"Daniel!"
I open my eyes to see Jack bending over me in concern. I must
have been making a lot of noise...
"Jack? Did I wake you?"
Jack's shaking his head. "No. I woke myself....you aren't
the only one with bad dreams tonight...."
I nod at him, rubbing my chest...it still hurts....
It felt so real....
Jack's looking at me strangely, but shakes his head as if
throwing off the last remnants of his own dream. I think I've
had enough rest for now and start to get up....only to find
the room going black around me....
I feel Jack's hand on my arm, guiding me back down and pushing
my head between my knees. He's saying something about the pills
he gave me earlier, something about coffee and an empty stomach.
He's asking when's the last time I ate...
I honestly don't remember....
I think I say it, he acts like I did as he helps me to stand
up a little slower. I'm still a little light-headed, but at
least the room isn't spinning anymore...
Jack parks me back on the couch, acting so solicitous, it's
kind of got me worried actually. I hear a lot of rattling and
banging from the kitchen, but between my headache and the lingering
pain in my chest I don't really feel like going in there to
investigate. I lay back on Jack's couch and put my feet up
on Jack's coffee table and listen to Jack's noise. I hear a
little ting and a clatter and a few minutes later Jack appears
with coffee, scrambled eggs and slightly green-tinged toast.
I look up at him as I poke at the green.
"So I haven't shopped in awhile. " He shrugs a little
apologetically. "Just think of it as raw penicillin...Eat."
Stifling a little nausea, I sit up and take a stab at it.
My chest is throbbing now and Jack notices as I rub at it,
his eyes ask the question...
I shrug my own shoulders, not really wanting to get into a
discussion about the physical after-effects of dreams. "It's
nothing...must've slept too heavily..."
He looks at me a little strangely, but nods, not pushing it.
He grabs the remote off the coffee table and flips through
the t.v. channels. Not much on at this time of night. He settles
on an old movie. I don't think either one of us is in a hurry
to go back to sleep...
I finish the eggs and eat around the green parts of the toast.
I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I sit back again and sip
my coffee as my headache eases...
.........................................................................................
"Jack!"
We're running for the Stargate as fast as we can...faster
than I ever thought I could....when I see the beam start to
fall...
I yell out a warning, but between the noise of the storm and
the castle falling down around us, it's just too loud in here.
Jack can't hear me. I make a dive at his legs in an attempt
to push him out of the way, but it isn't enough. The beam comes
down on his legs, crushing them.
The debris seems to slow down for a moment as I stoop down
beside him trying to free him. He's in obvious pain...his eyes
already glazed in shock, but trying to look past me at the
'gate. It's sputtering wildly, completely unstable.
"Daniel, get out of here!"
I knew he was going to say it.
Just like I know I'm not going to do it.
Just like he knows I won't.
We already know each other well enough not to argue about
that...That won't stop Jack from trying though....
He wouldn't be here now if it weren't for me. If I hadn't
become so obsessed with studying the Heliopolis communication
device, I would have been up here with my team...where I should
have been...
Jack looks at me strangely for a moment, a pain that isn't
entirely physical in his eyes.
"Daniel...don't...."
I just look at him. There aren't enough words to express my
regret, my sorrow...The only thing I can do now is to stay
by him...not let him die alone....
As the light from the Stargate sputters one last time and
fades completely, the tower shakes and the ceiling begins to
fall....
Part 5: Jack
I chase after him down the long corridor. I don't know how
this could have happened. He's my friend, or was until now...
Now I'm not so sure who he is...
The docs say he's got a snake in his head. I don't want to
believe them, but he's already killed two people. He'll kill
more if I don't stop him, here...now...
Where the hell did this happen? We were all okay when we jumped
for the gate as Apophis' Jaffa were hot on our heels back on
Chulak. He looked fine when we came through, although he did
complain of a headache...
I've got to stop him.
He'd want me to stop him.
Even if it means killing him.
I finally pry open the doors of the elevator. Carter's humped
up in the corner there, out cold. Daniel stares at me wild-eyed
and breathing heavily.
I look at him as I hold my gun on him to prevent his escape
from the elevator, trying to gauge how much of my friend actually
looks back at me.
I remember Daniel's words back there in that dungeon, 'Something
of the host must survive."
I also remember Teal'c shaking his head hopelessly...negating
Daniel's words.
I know Daniel well enough to know he wouldn't want to continue
this way, wouldn't want to hurt anyone else, wouldn't want
us to take the risk of allowing him to escape....
Those expressive eyes hold a silent question, a silent prayer...
I fire the gun.
....................................................................................
God...
What the hell is going on here tonight....
I look over at Daniel, huddled uncomfortably at the other
end of the couch, his coffee cup still balanced precariously
on one leg.
I don't know where that last dream came from. I don't care
what happens to him...there's *nothing* that would make me
shoot Daniel...especially not some damn snake.
Even in those early days, there was just something about him....
I can't even put a finger on it now. Daniel is....unique.
I've never known anybody like him, and probably never will.
He can go from up to down and all points between within the
blink of an eye. He can be arguing with me one minute, then
turn around and ask if I'm okay in the next. He opens his heart
up to hurt without question, but at the same time feels things
on a level I'm only beginning to comprehend. There's no doubt
in my mind, though, that of the two of us...he's the better
man.
He looks like a kid laying there against the couch arm, head
nearly falling off the hand holding it up...a kid who doesn't
want to be alone...
I know how he feels.
I take the coffee cup out of his hand and put it on the table,
then throw an afghan over him and pile up at the other end
of the couch. Whatever is going on with us tonight, we aren't
going to go through it alone....
Part 6: Daniel
Why couldn't they have listened to me?
Why didn't they believe me and act when we still had a chance
to stop this?
Why...
We're sitting here watching an eerily familiar sight. At least,
it's familiar to me.
Apophis' ship is slowly settling onto Cheyenne mountain.
Jack looks at me and his eyes echo the same question that
tears at my soul...
Why?
I know he regrets it now...but regrets won't buy us anymore
time. In a few short minutes the SGC and Earth, as we knew
it, will no longer exist...
They tried to get Sam and me to go through to the Alpha site,
but we both know our place is here. I knew we would fail....just
as we failed before....but I couldn't go. We've been a team
for over a year now; we've fought together...and died together,
actually. We've been through too much together not to want
to see this through to the bitter end.
All we can do now is wait.
When the Jaffa finally break through, the failsafe device
will explode...hopefully taking most of them with us....
Jack looks at me again. I can see he wants to say something...anything...to
heal this breach between us before...
What *can* he say?
I wish I'd believed you, Daniel? I wish I'd believed *in*
you? I wish that I'd had the faith in you that you always had
in me?
What good will it do now?
He didn't have faith in me, he didn't believe me, didn't take
the chance that I *could* be right, stood by and watched as
the gate was sealed and two months later stood by and watched
as the dual blips on the NASA radar got close enough to recognize
as pyramid ships.
Too late Jack realized I'd been right. And now it's too late
to do anything about it.
A wedge was driven between us then that will never have a
chance to go away. I was never able to bring myself to trust
him as much as I had before, as I had from the very beginning.
Jack's lack of faith when it really mattered told me that he
didn't respect me; he may have believed the facts I was able
to recite...but man to man, when it really counted....he couldn't
believe me when I so desperately needed him to...needed all
of them to....
And now it's too late.
Earth is dying...and soon we will, too.
And even now Jack can't admit that he was wrong, because that
would mean admitting that I was right. His stubborn pride will
remain in place until this mountain blows sky high...and I'll
never know if he even cares that I forgive him...
I look over at him, sitting there stoically watching the security
cameras track the Jaffa's incursion into the mountain. It's
Shak'l leading the attack this time, not Teal'c, but the results
will be the same. At least we didn't bomb Chul'ak...at least
no more innocents had to die as a result of a simple lack of
faith.
*I thought we were friends, Jack...Why couldn't you trust
me?*
As the countdown reaches one minute and relentlessly continues
downward, I see a single tear coursing down from the corner
of Jack's dark eyes. He looks straight at me now and a shadow
of the friend I knew two months ago looks back at me...
But now it's too late...
Part 7: Jack
"What fate Omarocca?"
The fishy guy is getting really ticked off at Daniel....
I guess that's only fair because Daniel is getting pretty
ticked off at him...
It's been two days now and that's just about all the big bluegill
has managed to say. He whumped Daniel up against the wall with
some kind of energy burst the last time the kid said he didn't
he didn't know...
Me? I'm just hanging around over here in my corner, tied up
to some bubbling tube of a thing. I don't know if I'm here
as some kind of insurance that Daniel won't escape or as a
contingency plan if he doesn't come up with the answers Nem
wants.
Half the time I they both forget I'm even over here, they're
so busy glaring and arguing.
"What fate Omarocca?"
"What *is* Omarocca? *Who* is Omarocca?"
"What...fate...?"
"I don't know!"
It would almost be funny if it weren't for the fact that we're
being held prisoner here in this underwater...whatever...against
our will. And, of course, there is Nem's promise that we're
going to die if Daniel doesn't come up with the right answer
to a question he doesn't even understand.
I've never seen Daniel so frustrated.
He's doing that little bouncy thing...like Tigger in hyperdrive....that
tells me he's reached the end of his patience. Messing with
Daniel when he gets like that is like playing hockey with a
ticking time bomb...fun up to a point, then boom!
Nem is getting madder by the minute. They're arguing about
whether Earth is still controlled by the Goa'uld. Then Daniel
suggest Nem use that brain-drain thing to get the information
he wants...
"Unh-unh...bad idea...." I yell it out, but they
ignore me.
Nem tells Daniel that it could kill him. Daniel looks over
at me and I shake my head. Bad plan, Daniel. Really bad plan.
But he's the one who isn't tied up and he's the one who's
got Nem's answer somewhere in that thick skull of his. He's
also the one who's so obviously trying to ignore me right now....
Nem hooks Daniel up to the machine that he used to make Carter
and Teal'c think we were dead. It starts out okay, but Nem
keeps cranking it up until the sweat is pouring off of Daniel's
face and the veins are standing out in his neck and arms as
he tries to talk through the pain.
I'm pulling on these ropes as hard as I can, but they won't
give at all. I can only sit here and watch as Nem pushes Daniel
harder and harder. I'm screaming my lungs out over here, but
there's nothing I can do to help Daniel....
Daniel is finally able to tell Nem that his mate, Omarocca,
is dead. Nem doesn't take the news very well...he cranks the
machine up even further. Daniel screams once, his body arching
against the restraints and then collapsing....
Nem roars in anger, grief...whatever....and finally really
looks at me for the first time. His strange eyes look almost
human as he apologizes to me for hurting Daniel. I tell him
to save it and go help Daniel, but Nem says it's too late....
It can't be. Daniel can't be dead....
I should have been able to stop it....
This isn't supposed to end like this!
Part 8: Daniel
I feel like there's a parade marching over my grave.....
I've died more times in my dreams tonight than I have in real
life.
Jack's asleep under a blanket at the other end of the couch
and there's another one over me. I guess Jack's in major watchdog
mode tonight...
If I hadn't been having bad dreams before I'd blame it on
the green toast.
One things for sure...I've had more than enough of these things
for one night, I need some coffee. I start to get up, but a
wave of dizziness hits me again...
Something is definitely not right about all of this.
The dreams...
So close to reality, but so...wrong.
I try again to raise up, but can't seem to find the strength.
It's so cold...
......................................................................................................
Cold.
Mind numbing, bone-chilling cold.
I open my eyes to find myself surrounded by ice.
Where the hell are we?
We should be back at the SGC....
Jack? Sam? Teal'c?
I raise up off the icy ground slowly. My head's throbbing...and
bleeding, must've been what knocked me out.
Jack?
He's laying up against an icy wall, unconscious. When I turn
him over, he looks...bad. His breath is raspy, his pulse is
thready and erratic, his leg is obviously broken...
I don't see Sam or Teal'c anywhere...
I know I dialed Earth...I know it!
Jack is stirring. He comes back to consciousness with a yelp
of pain...
"Daniel?"
"Yeah, Jack, I'm here..."
I try to sum up our situation for him as best I can, then
try to prepare him for what has to be done. I've set broken
legs more times than I can count, on Abydos mostly...but also
a few times on remote digs where medical help may be hours,
or even days, away.
Jack understands what I have to do, and I try to be as gentle
as possible, but I know it hurts him. It can't be helped. He
knows that as I do....
Once Jack's leg is set and splinted, I try to make him as
comfortable as possible. He's trying to keep up a front for
me, but I know there's something very wrong with him...
I've got to get us out of here. Somehow.
The Stargate is here, nearly embedded in the glacial ice,
so the DHD has to be here too. After searching for what seems
like hours, I finally find it, layered over with what could
be millenia of ice, and start chipping away with my knife.
Jack wants to help, but I tell him to keep still and talk to
me...
I have a feeling that he should stay awake. If he goes to
sleep in this cold, he could...
Can't think about that.
Jack talks away as I work; talking about sports, life in the
military, flight simulations. When he runs out of topics, I
prompt him with one of the many bad jokes that I've learned
from him. Of course, I tell it wrong and he has to correct
me, but I don't mind it...at least he's talking.
Jack's rather debatable sense of humor is one of the many
things about him that it took me awhile to understand . It's
definitely taken me awhile. In a way it's a compliment to have
Jack aim his wit at you. If he doesn't like you, he aims that
other weapon at you...that dripping sarcasm that lesser souls
can't begin to comprehend. . They may *think* they've been
insulted, but they're never quite sure...
I realize that Jack's stopped talking and climb down to where
he is to check.
He's gone to sleep...
Got to wake him up.
Jack...
God, Jack, you can't do this...
You can't leave me here alone...
Part 9: Jack
Whoa....
This is *not* good...
I've had about all the rest I can handle for one night.
Where's...?
Why is Daniel on the floor?
I get up and lean over him. He's shaking like he's as frozen
as I was in my...
What the hell?
"Daniel?" I shake him, hard.
We've got to wake up, here; figure this thing out. I've got
a funny feeling, the kind I get when things aren't quite as
kosher as they seem...
Daniel is stirring, still shivering and mumbling something
about being alone.
I shake him a little harder and his eyes finally open, blinking
at me in confusion.
"Jack?" His voice is raw with some deep emotion
that I can't quite fathom...or maybe I can. "Jack, what's
going on?"
I shake my head. "I dunno, buddy. How'd you wind up on
the floor?"
"I wanted to stay awake," he says, his voice shaking
as much as he is. "I...think I wanted to tell you something.
Must've passed out."
I lead him to the kitchen and pour us some coffee. Something's
screwy around here and it's way past time to get to the bottom
of it.
Daniel's still shivering so I crank up the thermostat until
the furnace kicks in. Between the heat and the coffee he gradually
seems to thaw out.
He looks like grade 'A' shit...hollow eyed and trembling,
every nerve seemingly stretched to its limit.
"Jack...what is all of this?" His hands hover vaguely,
but I know what he means.
He looks at me expectantly...
We've always managed to find answers before, but this....
I lay my head on my hands for a moment.
Got to think....
.................................................................................................................
No....
This is my old house.
The house where Charlie....
Charlie?
He's running across the lawn, bounding onto the porch and
into the house with all the youthful energy and enthusiasm
that I remember so well. His blond hair bounces in the sunlight
and it's almost like a slow-motion image...as if I have to
memorize every detail while I can...
I know where this is going.
I don't want to be here.
"Jack?"
Daniel is beside me.
Daniel shouldn't be here.
I didn't even know Daniel back when....
I shake my head numbly; my entire body is braced for the sound
that I know is coming soon...
The sound that changed everything...
The sound that never stops...
Daniel's pulling me, turning me away from the house, making
me look at him...
"Jack, this isn't real. We have to go...now!" Daniel's
voice is forceful, demanding in a way I've never heard before.
Part of me knows this isn't real; part of me knows that nothing
will change here...
I know this is a dream.
This *has* to be a dream.
Get me out of here, Daniel...
"Jack!"
Part 10: Daniel
"Jack!"
Jack looks like he's just seen a ghost.
In a way, he has...
It's a feeling I'm recently familiar with.
Jack is still breathing deeply, clinging onto my hand like
a lifeline. I know how he feels...and now I think I know why.....
The thing is...how can we stop it?
*Can* we stop it?
"Jack? Look at me..."
He looks up at me, still shaky but recovering. I have to make
him listen while we still have time...
"Jack, what's the last 'real' thing you remember from
our last mission?"
He looks at me like he thinks I've gone over that edge we've
been dancing on all 'night'...but he's trying...
"I remember....the Keeper. He was really pissed because
we let the cat out of the bag. Or rather, the residents out
of the environment. Then we gated home..."
I'm nodding my head, trying to fight this pervasive exhaustion
and piece together a theory that on the surface may seem more
than a little far-fetched, but...
"Did we?" I ask it quietly. "Jack....What did
you 'dream' about....?"
Jack looks at me, eyes clouded by the same weight that has
pressed upon me through all of this...
"You and me on Abydos, you getting shot when we helped
the Tollans, me....us...dying on..."
"Ernest's planet? Me possessed by a Goa'uld? Apophis
attacking Earth?"
He's nodding now, catching on. "Nem, but you died. Freezing
to death in Antarctica. You're trying to tell me..."
Even as I nod my head, the room fades.
The facade of normalcy is no longer needed and as we turn
around, I know what we'll see.
The Keeper.
Jack is livid, stalking toward the Keeper with his fists raised.
The Keeper touches the device on his forearm and we're back
in the museum again. I'm quite frankly afraid to turn around,
afraid to see if it's going to happen again. This has all just
been too much...I don't think I can go through this again,
too....
Jack takes my arm, squeezing tightly. He looks...there...and
shakes his head, no.
The Keeper is still looking at us with that sickening, inscrutable
smile. "You are, indeed, an obstinate race. It took time
for me to construct a scenario capable of distracting you."
He smiles again, indicating the museum. "My initial efforts
were faulty, but I learned from those mistakes. I realized
the only way that you would play was if I could keep you from
realizing that you were. I added extra substances to your infusions
to keep you further under and, since you, O'Neill were the
more aggressive, I added the extra distraction of your friend's
incapacity."
"But we have realized it," Jack sneers at him. " And
now we want out!"
"I don't think so." The Keeper's smile fades. " The
two of you are an inexhaustible source of entertainment for
the residents. Such rich interaction, such a wealth of magination!
They have grown very fond of you. I think we'll keep you."
"You'll *keep* us?' Jack sputters. "We aren't some
damn lab rats!"
"Don't you care how much pain you're causing us?" I
jump in, trying to lend a voice of reason to Jack's tirade.
The Keeper looks at me blankly. "You have suffered no
physical injury...yet."
Yet? What's that supposed to mean? I can see Jack caught that
one, too.
"There are other kinds of pain...Have you so completely
lost touch with reality that you can't see the kind of emotional
pain you're inflicting?"
The Keeper looks at us blankly. I don't think he understands.
They've been so devoid of outside influence, simple human interaction,
for so long....
Jack still looks like he wants to punch something.
The Keeper just smiles again and touches the device.
The room fades into a replica of Skaara's ship.
Part 11: Jack
We're back in our black uniforms, back on the bridge of Skaara's
ship as it moves closer to Earth. It's just the two of us this
time though. Daniel looks at me, paler and more drained than
before, if that's possible. This is not a good memory for either
of us...and we both remember the way this story ends....
"Jack..."
Daniel is looking at the stars. I know what he's thinking.
I'm thinking it, too.
The Keeper has learned how to manipulate our memories, our
nightmares. The inevitable end of this episode in our lives
was bad enough. What kind of sick scenario has he got planned
for us in this place?
"We could just refuse to play again?" I don't really
think it's possible. I just hope it is.
Daniel nods half-heartedly. "We could try..."
I squeeze his shoulder, turning him around. "We'll get
through this, Daniel."
He nods again, trusting me. I hope I can keep that promise.
"O'Neill."
It's Skaara...Klorel...
I try vainly to talk to Skaara, but this time I don't have
a zat gun.
The Jaffa disarm us, while Klorel gloats.
"My host's former brother...The former husband of my
father's Queen's host...the Tau'ri who opened the Chaap'ai
and set all of this into motion....." Klorel waves a hand
grandly, taking in the ship, the stars....
Daniel's shoulders droop...I knew he felt that way; being
who he is, he had to...but he's wrong...
"Daniel..." I start to tell him that none of this
is his fault...never was. One of the Jaffa lands one in my
back, sending me to my knees. Daniel gets a swipe across the
legs...consistent, these guys.
Klorel is carrying on as if he hadn't been interrupted. " Perhaps
you would like to see who is with us here."
He commands something in Goa'uld and Daniel goes even paler.
I look at him sharply, asking the question with my eyes. He
shakes his head...tries to speak, but before he can we hear
another Goa'uld-ish voice.
"My Daniel."
It's a cruel twist on the name that Sha'uri always used with
Daniel. But this isn't Sha'uri...just like Klorel isn't Skaara...
She looks at us coldly...as much a stranger now as her brother.
Ska...Klorel tells us this is Amaunet...Apophis' queen...
Like he's introducing us at a garden party.
He knows what he's doing. They both do. The worst thing is,
they're enjoying it.
Daniel is barely holding on. He's put on that still face he
uses when he's trying not to let his deep emotions show. He's
had a lot of practice with that one.
Amaunet lifts Daniel's face up by the chin, studying his eyes.
"This isn't real Daniel..." I have to say it....even
though it earns me another punch in the kidneys.
Amaunet looks at me, "I assure you Tau'ri, this is quite
real."
She activates her ribbon device, bringing it to bear on Daniel.
Whatever else is going on here...it's obvious that the pain
is real; I can only hope not fatally so. Daniel is frozen,
the pain etched on features locked in the gruesome hold of
that Goa'uld weapon. I don't know what to do, but I know it
has to be now....
I dive for Amaunet's hand breaking her hold on Daniel. As
the Jaffa grab hold of me again and Daniel drops to the floor
trying to breathe through the pain, Amaunet laughs.
"Not to worry, O'Neill. I don't intend to kill him. Not
just yet."
She and Klorel smile at each other, not a good thing.
I don't care if the Jaffa do hit me again as I reach over and
help Daniel sit up. I can feel the tremors of pain racing through
him as his breathing slowly evens out. I just hold on to him
as it passes.
For some reason Amaunet and Klorel allow it. This may be one
of the Keeper's 'games,' but Daniel is very *real* pain here.
I remember him rubbing his chest earlier after I...we...dreamed
that he'd been shot...
Daniel looks up at me, nodding that he's okay...but I can
see in his eyes that he's not. That sadistic, cold-hearted
bastard couldn't have designed a worse scenario.The stuff the
Keeper threw at us before was bad enough, but these two people
were Daniel's family.
Skaara meant a lot to me, too. His youthful energy and willingness
to fight against his 'god' helped pull me out of a very bad
time in my life. Skaara and Daniel, in totally different ways,
touched a part of me that had given up on life...reminding
me that some things *were* worth fighting for.
Then it all went to hell....
Now the image of Daniel's wife stands here looking down on
us like we're....worse than strangers...enemies and Daniel's
got more fodder for his real life bad dreams, as if he needed
it...
Daniel's trying to sit up straighter now; still shaking, but
better. I let him go, keeping a hand on his shoulder to let
him know I'm here. He nods again in thanks and looks at me
with his eyes full of things unstated, but understood, between
us. We've been through a lot together and I recognize that
Daniel is as close to breaking as he's ever been...
Amaunet laughs shortly. "How touching. It seems my Daniel
has found a friend. So human of you, my husband."
I can feel the tensing of Daniel's muscles under my hand.
She's deliberately pushing all of his buttons and it's working.
"Don't let her get to you, Daniel." I say it forcefully,
but gently.
He looks at me again. He knows, but knowing doesn't make it
any easier.
Klorel speaks again. "What shall we do with them, My
Queen?"
She really seems to consider it.
"Kill them...slowly."
Amaunet smiles as her eyes glow.
Part 12: Daniel
*God...
Make this stop.
This isn't real; I know it isn't real.
But it hurts.
Sha'uri...not Sha'uri....
Help me, Jack.*
I can feel the steady presence of Jack's hand on my shoulder
and it helps to anchor me, helps me remember that this isn't
my wife wanting to kill me.
It's an image out of a dozen nightmares. An image that's kept
me awake more night than I can count. The two people I once
knew better than I knew myself turned into this parody of themselves,
a parody of the familiar that hides the evil core within.
The Jaffa march us to a cell. Whatever they have in mind,
they must want to give us time to think about it...
I just lay there where they push me down. It's too much of
an effort right now to get up. Jack's here beside me, one hand
checking the pulse under my jaw. If he'd asked me, I could
have told him it's racing like wildfire and my heart's about
to explode...
"Daniel?" Jack sounds worried.
I look up at him finally, trying to force a reassuring smile
that I don't begin to feel.
His eyes say 'bull'...or some similar sentiment...and he helps
me to sit up slowly. Those ribbon things always give me a banging
headache....
"Daniel?" Jack's making me look at him again. "You
*have* to remember that none of this is real."
I'm rubbing the back of my neck, trying to ease the pain in
my head. "It *feels* pretty real, Jack..."
He nods shortly at that. "Yeah, I've been thinking about
that, too. We could be in a heap of trouble this time..."
I actually do smile at that one, which is probably what Jack
intended. He smiles back at me, asking the question, and I
nod my head...I'll be okay. Maybe not any time soon...
The cell looks like the same one we were kept in...before...but
I doubt that Bra'tac will be coming to our rescue this time.
I reach to Jack and he helps me to stand...it's touch and
go for a moment, but I manage it.
We're trapped in a dream within a dream...
How are we going to get out of this one?
I start pacing around the cell, trying to get my brain pumping
on all cylinders. Jack watches me from where he's standing
against the wall...he knows me.
"The Keeper said he was drugging us before. That explains
how he kept us in the dark so long...but now we *do* know what's
going on...but somehow, I don't really believe that we can
just refuse to play, like we did before. If...Amaunet....and
Klorel decide to kill us, there's a very real possibility that
our minds will accept that and we *will* die. And, yet, I don't
think the Keeper wants us to die...that would effectively cut
his 'game' off right here and now...but can we count on that?
I expect Sam and Teal'c are trying to get back to us, but can
we count on that remote possibilty in time? The residents...are
an unknown factor...could we influence their perceptions from
inside this scenario, help them see what they're doing...like
it seemed the first time? Can we influence the scenario, since
it's being generated from our imaginations...."
Jack is nodding and shaking his head alternately. I wasn't
even aware that I was thinking out loud and smile in apology.
"I'm...getting used to it...." Jack says it like
it's some great admission.
"But does any of it help?"
Jack takes on that deep frown he gets when the strategist
in him takes over. Then he smiles...he's got a plan.
"Maybe we should try a little...passive resistance, with
a twist?"
Part 13: Jack
I hope this works...
Daniel's hanging on like the trouper he is, but it's definitely
by his fingernails.
We make ourselves as comfortable as possible on the floor
of the cell...and I look at Daniel. He nods that he's ready...but
I wonder if he's really up for this.
This has *got* to work.
We start off by thinking of the Keeper's planet, the way it
looked when we first gated in. It's a beautiful planet...nothing
at all like the Keeper has led the residents to believe. I
use my anger toward the Keeper and all he's put us through
to, hopefully, plant the seeds of doubt in their minds. I know
Daniel is trying to communicate the concepts of pain, both
emotional and physical...I don't even want to think of how
he's doing it. I just know that, regardless of his own feelings,
he'll get it done.
The second part of the plan is a little trickier, but I turn
my thoughts in that direction and move as quickly as possible.
We must be doing something right...or maybe wrong, depending
on your point of view...because I hear booted footsteps approaching
the cell door. The Jaffa are back, grabbing us off the floor
and shoving us roughly down the corridor. They return us to
the bridge where Klorel and Amaunet are waiting.
I'm trying to keep my mind on the plan and I can see Daniel
is, too.
Klorel is gloating about what he's going to do to us, while
Amaunet is running a possessive hand down Daniel's back. He
doesn't react...doesn't respond...sticking to the plan. They
seem to be getting angrier by the minute. Which probably means
the Keeper is getting just as angry...
Good. It's about time he joined the fun.
Amaunet brings her ribbon device to bear...aiming it once
again at Daniel, this time flinging him against the wall. He
goes down hard, but waves a hand to let me know he's mostly
okay. We know now that this is the Keeper's way of trying to
distract me; I'm just sorry Daniel has to serve that unenviable
purpose.
We stick to the plan.
Amaunet looks at me strangely for a moment. "Do you not
care what happens to him, O'Neill? He is your friend."
"He was *your* husband, that doesn't seem to be stopping
you." I say it under my breath, trying to keep to the
plan...but my mouth always did have a mind of its own.
She activates her ribbon thingy again, shoving Daniel back
against the wall. It's all I can do *not* to react, but I can't...
Daniel gets up again...slower, real or not....something hurts.
Amaunet is enraged. "How can you allow this, O'Neill?" She
orders something in Goa'uld-ish and one of the Jaffa raises
his staff weapon, activating and firing it before either of
us can react. I have another one of those slow-motion moments...I
can see Daniel bracing himself, his eyes closing and I know
he's trying to convince himself that the blast of energy coming
toward him isn't real...
God...I hope we're right...
The flash strikes him, but that's all....Daniel's still standing.
Amaunet, Klorel and the Jaffa fade out.
I run over to Daniel and catch him before he can fall down.
There's no visible damage, but it's like he said before....the
mind can convince the body of many things...
"I'm okay, Jack," he's breathing heavily and his
voice tells me differently, but I nod my head anyway.
"So what happens now?" I ask.
He starts to answer, but another voice interrupts him.
"Now, you *will* die."
Part 14: Daniel
It's the Keeper...
And he seems to be royally ticked off...
Good.
He's not used to dealing with things outside of his control...which
we definitely are.
Jack helps me to stand, again...but it's not easy. Every bone
and muscle in my virtual body aches. Jack keeps a hand under
my arm, holding me steady as we face the Keeper.
The Keeper's face is red with rage. "What do you think
you are trying to do?"
Jack responds with that 'stupid question' tone. "We're
trying to get out of here!"
"I really am losing my patience with you. Why can you
not submit and join in the games?"
I have to respond to that. "It isn't part of our nature...of
*human* nature to submit to the control of another."
The Keeper looks at me in confusion...the concept is so foreign
to him that he can't begin to grasp it. He's been in control
of these people, this place, for a thousand years.
"Irregardless, you cannot be allowed to continue to influence
the minds of the residents in the manner that you have been
attempting." The Keeper's voice turns cold. " You
have the option of re-joining the game...or ceasing to exist." His
expression doesn't change...to him the choices are clear cut
and immutable.
Jack's about had enough. "You are going to let us go...now!"
The Keeper laughs at the seeming ridiculousness of that statement.
"Or...?" The Keeper asks.
"Or your people are going to turn against you."
That was the second part of Jack's plan. Teaching the residents
a few things about freewill and independence. Something we
both know a few things about...
"You tried that once before, if you will recall. It cannot
be done."
Jack smiles. "Wanna bet?"
The figures in black are there all around us. The first time
we've actually seen them throughout this whole thing. The veils
are removed and they are looking at the Keeper with an odd
mixture of contempt and sympathy.
The Keeper is backing away from the residents. I have no doubt
that this time they are real.
A young woman begins to speak. "These two have shown
us the true meaning of 'life'...it is more than you have allowed
us. A thousand years ago, the environment made sense...but
we have grown less human with every year. You protect a planet
that has no life, because we are locked up in here."
Jack jumps in. "You kept them away from the planet to
protect it, but you took away something far more important."
The Keeper looks at Jack in confusion.
"The right to choose." I answer.
The Keeper is shaking his head. "No! I will not allow
it!" He reaches for his bracelet, but one of the men in
black grabs his arm and removes it.
"Now it is you who has no choice."
The man pushes one of the buttons on the device and suddenly
we are back in those cocoon things. Jack jumps out of his,
giving me a hand out of mine as my legs give way. I still feel
like hell...
The people have gathered around us...still very quiet, as
if the experience of being free of the cocoons is still a very
fragile concept to them. I know how they feel...
Jack is looking at me with that concerned look again...It
really is getting to be a bad habit.
The young woman is speaking again. " You have shown us
many things and we are very grateful. "
The man holding the Keeper's device agrees. "There are
many things we have forgotten as we wasted our lives in the
environment. Thank you for reminding us what it is to *feel*
again."
I nod my head. I don't have the energy to respond at this
point.
Jack promises to send back help. People to teach them how
to take care of themselves *and* their planet.
The man hands Jack the device. "Take this with you. We
will not need it again."
Jack smiles and nods."Glad to hear it"
Epilog:Jack
Once again, Daniel is sleeping on my couch.
It's been a long week since we got back. In a strange kind
of deja vu, I felt the need to bring Daniel back here. If he
had reason to have bad dreams before, he had even more of them
now. Basically, I just didn't want him to be alone.
Fraiser checked us out after our reunion in the Gate room.
Outside of some residual effects from the Keeper's drugs, she
said we were fine. Daniel's exhaustion was just that...physical
and emotional exhaustion. Fraiser didn't want to let him go
until I promised her that I'd watch out for him.
At first I couldn't get him to go to sleep at all. When he
finally did...it was bad. We both expected that.
The dreams were there, waiting, every time he closed his eyes.
And so was I.
I held him when he cried over Sha'uri, Skaara, his parents.
I held him when he came awake thinking I was dead. I held him
when he woke up in pain as he re-experienced every damn thing
the Keeper pushed on him back there.
I only had a few of those bad dreams to deal with...
What I tried to keep uppermost in both of our minds was that,
regardless of the bad stuff, we'd gotten through it together.
We each kept the other sane through all the waking nightmares.
He sure as hell came through for me when I saw Charlie...
I finally got him to eat a little tonight. He even made a
joke about green toast. He's getting there...it just may take
awhile.
He stirs a little on the couch, but settles down again.
No dreams this time.
He really *does* look like a kid when he's asleep.
I remember the look on his face when that energy blast was
heading straight for him. He looked so certain. He'd come up
with the idea, I'd come up with the plan...but he was the one
who had to look death in the eye and deny its existence.
I don't know if I could have done it.
He trusted me.
That counts for a lot in my book.
In the end, it counts for everything.
*fin*