Title: Miles from Nowhere
Date: June 28, 2001
Status: Complete
Author: Jmas
Category: Drama, angst
Rating: PG-13
Email: jmasg1@bellsouth.net
Spoilers: Exodus
Summary: Thoughts on being far from home. Set directly after Jacob’s announcement and before Apophis’ arrival.
Author's note: The last of the missing scenes or tags for season 4 promised to the HC list. Here’s wishing everyone a wonderful Season 5 and beyond…
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.
~*~

Miles from Nowhere

By Jmas

‘It would take us 250 years to get home…’

Oh, God. How could this have happened. Well shit, Sam, you know how it could have happened, but…damn.

We may never see Earth again.

Dad sounds so solemn; he’s as shocked by this as I am. Mark, the kids - we’d all just started rebuilding our family and now…Now we may just disappear out of his life as if we’d never been there.

Dad’s looking at me and I know he’s thinking along the same lines I am. Out of all of us he’s got the best chance of reaching home again, but what kind of life will it be for him watching us grow old and die? Sure there’s a sarcophagus aboard, but we all know the kind of price tag it comes with; thanks, but no thanks.
It’s hard to think right now, to think beyond this moment even though I know I should be getting to work on the problem. Just now though - just for this one single moment - I feel so alone.

~*~

Sammy’s scared. Can’t say as I blame her, even Selmak’s been stunned into uncharacteristic silence. We’re nowhere the Tok’ra or the Goa’uld have ever been before, no where this ship was ever built to travel once, much less twice. And I doubt we’ll find another Stargate or a convenient black hole to dial it into.

No, we won’t be going back the same way we got here - not unless Chronos has a lot more firepower than we ever knew about.

We are well and truly stuck.

At least Sam’s here, and George will make sure to send word to Mark so maybe he won’t hate me for disappearing from his life again.

Selmak’s nudging around in my consciousness, providing mute comfort for a pain that’s beyond words.

~*~

Damn.

Jacob seems pretty bleak over there about our chances of seeing Earth again in this lifetime. I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around the concept right now.

It can’t be over.

I’ll be the first to admit I’ve got a pretty healthy ego and I’m not trying to say we’re irreplaceable to the cause, but hell - despite Jacob’s dismissal of what we’ve done - we *have* made a pretty heavy contribution to the war against the goa’uld.

Carter? It would take a damn team of scientists to do everything she can do. Daniel? No one can do his job - any of them. Jacob? The last damn Tok’ra who gives a damn if Earth gets screwed over by Selmak’s pals. Teal’c - God, poor Teal’c - the jaffa rebellion is as much as over without him.

It can’t be over - there’s got to be a way.

~*~

Jack’s not giving up. I don’t think Sam is either, but I think this is the first time she’s ever been in the position to really think she might not see home again - not like Antarctica, not like thinking you might die on a world not your own. No - living and knowing you can’t go back is an entirely different thing. I’ve been there and even though it was my choice it still wasn’t easy.

Long nights when the stars just wouldn’t fit what I’d always known, when even the air felt wrong. Sha’re made it easier - like she made everything easier - and those nights became fewer until the opposite became true. Even though it’s mostly emotionally driven, Abydos became the home Earth had never been - and still isn’t in a lot of ways.

Jack understands. He had no choice when he was stuck on Edora, but I have no doubt he’s have made a place for himself there; he always does. I think if wed been very much longer getting back to him, he’d have been running the place.

No, Jack’s not giving up, and neither am I. We’ll find a way, it just may take a while.

*fin*