All Those Years

Spoilers for Season 9 episode Avalon 1

It was crazy, in a way, to be sitting in the darkness of his former home wishing to go back in time. He’d done some wild things in his day and there was no way he’d ever want to repeat some of them, but he didn’t really want to go back that far. Just a few years, a few less painful knees, a few missteps backward to find a better way to finish what had, in the end, been some of the greatest times he’d ever known.

They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone and that sure as hell was the truth. Getting old was an even deeper hell and one Jack was having more than a little trouble with. He’d lost it all by slow degrees; his knees, his stamina, his ability to keep up and make the hard  decisions… especially where SG1 was concerned. It hurt, to be honest. He wasn’t ready to turn into his father, to be bitter and to drink nightly to what used to be. He was too damn young to be this old, damn it.

The universe had to be laughing its ass off, Jack figured. Someone ought to be.

Not like he was laughing anymore.

What the hell was he going to do in Washington. Sure he could make certain the SGC was taken care of. Make sure the NID didn’t get a toe in the door… not that Hank would ever allow it. But it wasn’t the same… wouldn’t be the same even if SG1 was still around the SGC. Teal’c was off pulling a Julius Caesar, leading his fellow Jaffa in the ways and means of bureaucracy. Carter had taken the post at Area 51 she’s always wished for, Cassie attending the university out there making her decision for her. Daniel, well, by now Jack figured Daniel was zooming out of the Milky Way looking forward to uncovering the secrets of Atlantis that Weir’s team no doubt had failed to manage.

Once Jack had taken Hammond’s position, it had all seemed to fall apart. He wasn’t quite so egotistic as to imagine the team couldn’t go on without him, but it seemed like everyone had pretty quickly taken steps to scatter to the winds once Jack was gone…

As if they couldn’t bear to go on as SG1 if he weren’t still around.

Get over yourself, O’Neill…

“Get over yourself, O’Neill…”

It took Jack a full minute to realize the voice in his head had a twin standing just inside the door.

“Daniel?”

The other man switched on the lamp and took a seat on the sofa next to Jack, smiling a little.

“Hey, Jack….”

Jack shook his head, blinking. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what the hell are you doing here?”

“As in not halfway to Pegasus by now?”

Jack nodded.

“Long, long story….It’s waiting in the car right now actually and Teal’c has orders to shoot to kill if necessary.”

Deciding not to pursue Daniel’s convoluted answer, Jack just nodded again. “So, then, what….”

“Am I doing in your former house in the middle of the night?”

“Yeah…”

Instead of answering, Daniel looked around the big room, so sparse now with all Jack’s things packed up and waiting in the garage for the mover’s to pick up. The realtor had gotten special permission from the new owner to leave it there for a few days. Jack had a meeting with them all the next day to sign the house over. It wasn’t a meeting he was looking forward to.

“So?”

“So…. “

Daniel was clearly avoiding giving Jack an answer, so he did what he always did… settled back and made it clear he intended to wait Daniel out.

“Well, Jack… When I realized I missed Daedalus, I remembered something else….”

“Like…”

Daniel ducked his head almost sheepishly. “Like… I sold my own house and only took the apartment temporarily until I was due to leave….”

“So….?”

“So, I didn’t have anywhere to live.”

“Again.”

“Again.” Daniel smiled. “So…. Iboughtyourhouse….”

Only years of practice prevented Jack from having to ask Daniel to repeat himself.

“You?”

“Bought your house, Jack.”

Barely keeping a smile from breaking through, Jack asked the obvious question of the moment. “Why?”

Daniel looked away, hands moving to take in the room, even the whole house.

“Lots of reasons, Jack. It’s a nice place, good yard, a garage… I know it’s been maintained well, the previous owner was almost anal about it. Despite the lack of a good security system.” Daniel smiled then, seeming relieved Jack hadn’t killed him yet. “Besides… this place… it was the first home I knew when I came back from Abydos, after every single time you, or I, was hurt. It’s as much a home to me as any place I’ve ever had and….”

Blinking to keep the tear threatening to fall from making an embarrassing entrance, Jack said, “And?”

“And I didn’t want to let it go out of the family, okay? I wanted you to have a place to stay when you come back to visit us… Which you will, right?”

Leaning forward, trying to bring his emotions under control, Jack nodded. He was touched more than he could say at what Daniel had done, was doing. Suddenly, Jack realized his whole maudlin train of thought earlier that night had been totally off track.

Things were different, definitely, but not necessarily worse. SG1 wasn’t over, not really. Some things had changed, but the friendships forged over eight years hadn’t faded away like the forgotten memories he’d thought. They were alive and well and would be living in this house with Daniel… just waiting any time he wanted to come back.

Reaching out, Jack drew Daniel closer to him into a massive hug. He didn’t know if he had the words to tell his friend just what his gesture meant to him. But really, when had he ever needed words with Daniel? Never had, never would.

Pulling back, Jack put a hand on both sides of Daniel’s bearded face and whispered, “Thank you.”

Daniel just nodded, just as full of emotion as Jack.

They separated, pulling themselves together as best they could.

“Don’t suppose you want to buy a motorcycle too?”

Daniel laughed and shook his head, pulling back his shirtsleeve. “Want to buy a goa’uld bracelet, complete with strings attached?”

Jack just laughed and shook his head. More of that long story, no doubt. But right now, this moment, it didn’t really matter. What did matter was that SG1, his SG1, would carry on.

He hadn’t lost a damn thing and wasn’t it a wonderful thing to finally know that?