Title: Dammit, Daniel
Author: Jmas (rhymes with Amos..no particular reason)
Email:jmasg1@bellsouth.net
Category: A little drama, a little angst, a little Jack-style
warped humor.
Spoilers: Bunches and bunches...In no particular order, Stargate
the movie, Children of the Gods, Politics, Fire and Water,
Serpent's Lair, Secrets, Enigma, Need, and Hathor. Very obscure
references to Cold Lazarus, Broca Divide, Serpent's Grasp,
The Nox, The Fifth Race, and probably others, so consider yourself
warned.
Sequels: You never know...
Rating: PG-ish: A little minor swearing, a little whumping,
but nothing graphic.
Summary: Jack gets a little reflective (yes, Jack!), Daniel
gets a little whumped...
Disclaimers: Not mine, just borrowing. Promise to put them
back like I found them (pretty much). Luckily, I have other
ways to make money, so you don't have to pay me for this (unless
you really want to...).
Author's note: My first post anywhere, anytime. Just a little
practice run. Let me know what you think. Be gentle. Thanks
to Rheanna for words of encouragement and darn good editing.
Thanks to DeeTervo for similar words of encouragement and pointing
out a possible faux pas (Personally, I think it was all in
her evil little mind). Hope you enjoy it, I know I did.
Dammit Daniel
by
Jmas
And there he goes...
"Dammit, Daniel!"
Two seconds out of the 'gate, before the rest of us even have
a chance to get our bearings and Daniel's off to some unknown
destination that could only have caught his attention a microsecond
after reintegration. I glance over at Carter and Teal'c in
time to catch Carter's sympathetic grin and Teal'c's involuntary
step forward, as if he could put our own particular brand
of genie back in his bottle by sheer force of will. It's
a feeling I completely sympathize with. Where did I put that
leash anyway?
"Dammit, Daniel!"
I say it again, knowing it's just as useless as it was the
thousand or two other times I've said it, but what can I
say? At least I'm consistent.
I motion for Carter and Teal'c to fan out and follow in the
general direction I last saw the bouncing shaggy head of our
anthropologist slash archaeologist slash linguist slash consistent
pain in the ass.
"Dammit, Daniel..."
I mutter it again as much in concern as in annoyance. Much
as I might mouth off about Daniel's er...enthusiasm, sometimes
I envy it. I seem to recall being that passionate about stuff...a
hundred years ago. At least I had the sense not to let it
get in the way of the job at hand and, unlike a certain scholar
I won't mention, I always knew how to follow orders. I also
didn't let it lead me into the kinds of trouble Daniel seems
to draw like an industrial strength magnet.
Carter calls that she's found our errant knight of the Unknown
Tablet. Following her voice, I come through the thick underbrush
just in time to see Daniel reach out to touch the base of a
gold-engraved ebony obelisk...
"Dammit, Daniel!"
What have I told him about touching things! He's like a kid
in a pet shop, he's just got to touch 'em all. How many times
have I said it? At least a half-dozen per mission. He's a
smart guy, you'd think he could remember it by now, right?
Yeah, right.
And just like I figured...Daniel equals magnet equals trouble.
Before any of us has time to react, an intense blue-green
light fills the clearing, its focus entirely on Daniel. Daniel
is frozen in place, eyes wide, mouth open in obvious pain but
unable to break contact with the black column.
Teal'c rushes forward and tackles Daniel to the ground. Somewhere
along the line Teal'c has become more like Daniel's guardian
angel than his self-appointed bodyguard. It's a guilt thing.
Sha're, Skaara, Apophis...you know the story.
As soon as the contact is broken the light fades and Carter
and I move to Daniel's side. It's pretty obvious the kid's
in trouble. His body is jerking, lips already blue... Carter
checks his pulse and confirms what I already know. He's in
cardiac arrest. I motion for Carter to start mouth to mouth
while I rip open his shirt and start chest compressions.
"Dammit, Daniel..."
It's out before I even realize I'm gonna say it. How familiar
is this?
Daniel staring down at the hole where his stomach used to
be in Ra's throne room...
Daniel lying unconscious and in pain as his body attempts
to fight the effects of the Broca virus...
Daniel being consumed by hellish flames courtesy of Nem's
implanted memories...
Daniel lying in the corridor of Apophis' ship...chest still
smoldering as the life ebbs out of him....
Carter pulls me out of those other waking nightmares by announcing
she's found a pulse. I sit back on my heels, breathing a
deep sigh of relief, then turn my attention to assessing
Daniel's condition.
Thready pulse, weak but there. Thanks to whatever god looks
out for children and headstrong multiple PhD's on a mission.
The pale skin is cold and dry, forehead drawn in pain. A livid
purple bruise stands out on his left temple, probably a result
of Teal'c overly enthusiastic rescue. Carter states the obvious...we
need to get him back to Doc Fraiser.
"Dammit, Daniel..."
We wrap Daniel up in one of the emergency blankets and without
a word Teal'c bends to pick up the limp form. He's been here
before...we all have. Teal'c's attitude toward Daniel has
always been a puzzle to me. Outside of the guilt thing, which
I know Daniel's tried hard to lessen for Teal'c, I think
they understand each other in a way I can't really connect
with. Both separated from their true families, both somewhat
isolated on a world not really their own.
For a guy who started out so socially awkward, Daniel can
win friends in the most unexpected places. Must be that puppy-eyed,
aw-shucks, I'm thinking three steps ahead of you but I could
be wrong kind of attitude. Look how he got under my skin...
Nobody should outlive their own kid...
I'd never talked about Charlie to anyone...ever...probably
why I'm a single man today, but there I was spilling it to
this geeky guy I'd only known a couple of weeks. Who could
have known back then...
As we step through the 'gate I can't help thinking that Fraiser
and Hammond are just gonna love this. It's a wonder they let
us out on our own.
************************************************************************************************
As expected, Hammond greets us with this weird little 'here
we go again' expression and Fraiser's 'what did you let him
go and do to himself this time' look is all too familiar. Hey,
guys, I'm just a C.O., not a miracle worker. Is it my fault
if Danny's got more energy than one of Carter's quantum particles?
If we could plug him into SGC's generators we could cut our
energy budget by 2 or 3 mil easy.
As Fraiser's crew carries off Daniel off in a flurry of STAT's
and orders for tests, it hits me again...what is that drives
this kid?
Knowing the drill, Hammond just waves us off after the medics.
Debriefing can wait.
"Dammit, Daniel..."
Doc comes out and tells us what we really already know. It
doesn't look good...he's young and strong...the next 24 hours...yadda,
yadda, yadda. Hey, at least his odds are a little better
on this one...Doc knows what I'm gonna say so we don't waste
time with it, she just moves aside a lets me in.
This vigil stuff is getting a little redundant.
The usual bed, the usual beeping mass of machinery, the usual
too-pale, battered face looking small and nearly lost in the
middle of it all...And look, someone's put my usual pillow
and blanket in my usual chair. God, I hate being predictable...
"Dammit, Daniel..."
I don't know why people always whisper at times like this.
It just seems like the thing to do. Not that I ever really
worry about what I'm supposed to do. Hmmm, sounds like somebody
else I know...
Waiting around to see if Danny can pull another life out
of his steadily shrinking supply is not my high on my list
of things to do. But it helps me catch up on my deep-thinking
time, something Danny has accused me of not being able to do.
Funny that he'd be the one to provide the most opportunities
and usually most of the subject matter.
All of us know the facts of Daniel's history: parents died
when he was just a kid, flying through a rapid succession of
foster homes that all too obviously didn't know what to do
with a too-smart kid who could probably think rings around
them on a bad day (been there, done that), graduating early
with a dozen initials after his name, professional isolation
and ridicule, finally proving his theories but restricted from
revealing that fact, thrust into the forefront of an intergalactic
struggle after losing another family and the only woman he
ever loved...Sounds like a Showtime movie. The personnel file
lays it all out matter-of-factly, but I know the reality of
those facts.
In the past couple of years, Daniel's gone through beatings,
torture, mind probes, what amounts to rape, finding his wife
only to lose her again, addiction and a resulting emotional
breakdown...not to mention death and near-death.
"Dammit, Daniel..."
What the hell drives him to take all that and still come back
for more? I know there's Sha're and all that, but a lesser
man would have given it up a long time ago and gotten on
with his life. Daniel still feels guilty for just looking
at another woman. Hathor and Shyla put a hurt on him I didn't
think he was ever gonna get over...the fact that he was under
certain influences at those times didn't go very far in helping
him to forgive himself.
He's just so damn passionate about everything! Out there
trying to save the world..er, worlds, endlessly searching for
clues to fight the Goa'uld, to find Sha're and Skaara, pulling
all-nighters with irritating regularity trying to figure out
that meaning-of-life stuff and oh, by the way Jack, as long
as we're here let's just make friends and win allies and isn't
that one of those roc..artifact things over there?
Of course just as often the other guys aren't interested
in making friends, but that doesn't stop Danny from trying.
"Dammit, Daniel..."
When are you going to open your eyes, kid? All of Danny's thoughts
and emotions are reflected in those bright blue eyes with
the over-large pupils that just seem to add to that innocent-puppy
persona that most of the female population of this and every
other world we've been to seems to find irresistible.
But to those few of us who really know him, Daniel's eyes
are like his barometer. You can always tell when the pressure
is up and if he won't look you in the eye then something's
bad wrong. Daniel is entirely too honest for his own good and
his eyes show it all.
I think that honesty is why it bothers him so much to keep
the stuff we learn out there to himself. For Daniel it's like
perpetuating the lies his so-called peers have accepted as
truth for generations, a serious affront to guy who considers
truth a sacred mission. I know I've got a bad habit of cutting
him off when he goes into what I call his "'lecture mode',
but I'm getting better about that and sometimes it's actually
interesting, but don't tell him I said that....Our fights...er,
debates are one of the best parts of our friendship. I'm learning
to be a little more open-minded, definitely don't tell him
I said that!, and I think Daniel's learning something about
standing up a little more effectively for what he believes
in. Of course calling Senator Kinsey a fool wasn't exactly
a prime example of that, but at least he had the guts to confront
to the jerk and say what we were all thinking anyway. Sometimes
not being military can have distinct, and satisfying, advantages.
Daniel grinning one of those rare, shy grins after helping
the Tollans go through to the Nox....
The very young do not always do as they're told, indeed...
"Dammit, Daniel..."
Damn, when did it get to be 4 a.m.?
Somebody's left some coffee on the table for me. Must've
been Carter. Coffee's not real high up there on Teal'c's list
of priorities. Likes the smell, hates the taste. Unlike our
Daniel Jackson here. Sometimes I wonder why he doesn't just
skip the brewing process and chew the beans. It's not like
he needs anything artificial to charge his batteries. From
what Skaara and the kids on Abydos told me, he was the same
way there with no coffee around for lightyears...and Abydos
had 36 hour days! Maybe it's the 'Great Mysteries' that provide
their own kind of adrenaline rush. Maybe I should get Doc to
remove his adrenal glands while we've got the chance....
I've been around these machines enough to know that the numbers
are sliding a little closer back toward normal for Daniel.
Normal? What about this infuriating guy is normal? Maybe that
is one of those mysteries that aren't meant to be figured out
and, unlike Danny-boy here, I can deal with the fact that there
are some things that just aren't meant to be figured out...just
accepted. That doesn't mean I'm not gonna read him the riot
act when he gets over this...
"Dammit, Danny..."
One of the machines starts to beep in a different rhythm and
I look up to see those afore-mentioned eyes staring back
at me. And, sure enough, I know what's coming before he can
even say it and nod understanding, he needs to save his strength.
As I watch, his eyes run the gamut from apology to memory
to concern for me. Never fails that his first thought is
what did he do wrong, remembering why I've told him it was
wrong, and realizing that we...okay, I worry about him when
it does.
Maybe that eye thing goes both ways, because I can see him
digesting the fact that this one was a little too close for
comfort. Again that look of apology and then, as if I didn't
know it, that look of discovery; he actually had time to read
something on that obelisk and is about to wind up and tell
me all about it...
"Dammit, Daniel!"
