Title: No Warranties
Date: June 28, 2001
Status: Complete
Author: Jmas
Category: Drama, angst
Rating: PG-13
Email: jmasg1@bellsouth.net
Archive: Stargate Fan, Heliopolis, Belle, Place of Our Legacy
Spoilers: Upgrades
Summary: Not surprisingly the Tok’ra don’t offer ‘money back if not completely satisfied’ guarantees…..
Author's note: Another of the missing scenes or tags for season 4 promised to the HC list.
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

~*~
No Warranties
By Jmas

The buzz from these armbands doesn’t exactly make a good night’s rest easy, but Daniel’s practically bouncing off the walls from the safety of his very own military-issue cot. Screwy image, but true….

Carter cadged the only bed and she’s not having any trouble sleeping. Me? I’m still thrumming with a little post-battle - make that post-barfight - rush. Hammond’s beyond pissed and edging into stockade territory; if it weren’t for Fraiser backing the alien influence theory we’d all be buried under the stockade by now. It was a little - okay, a lot - stupid. Can’t believe we did that, can’t believe Daniel did it….

O - kay….

That’s why he’s doing his rotisserie impersonation instead of sleeping.

Daniel’s never been the kind of guy to act out like we all did tonight. Hell, neither have I - not since I made captain and Sara sent word she was pregnant; the prospect of fatherhood was a sobering influence in more ways than one. But I very much doubt if there are many kick-ass drunks in Daniel’s past - Abydonian moonshine notwithstanding. It’s just not his style - just like breaking faces not directly intent on breaking his own isn’t his style.

And neither one of us is going to get any sleep at this rate….

“Daniel?”

He lies still for a minute, likely deciding if he can fake me out and pretend the tossing and turning was just a really, really active dream. I hear a big sigh as he decides he can’t.

“Yeah, Jack?”

“It wasn’t your fault. Fraiser says the armbands are making us a little --”

“Stupid?”

“….aggressive….” I have to laugh a little. “Yeah, that too.”

He rolls over and I know he’s looking my way in the dark. I don’t need to see him to know he’s got that ‘there is no excuse’ look on his face and that he’s refusing to forgive himself this lapse into baser human nature. Daniel can be as petty as any of us when it comes to the little things, but on the big stuff - the stuff like expecting better of himself than he so often gets - well, he doesn’t need anyone to beat him up for that, he does a damn fine job all by himself.

“Doesn’t help…” he whispers.

And I know what he means there - it may not have been our fault but those jackasses are still hurt. None too seriously and the SF is picking up all the bills, but jerks though they may be, they had no idea what they were going up against. On a normal day, Carter, Daniel and I are fully capable of taking down a bunch of barroom bullies; the only difference between tonight and any other night is that our brains disengaged - and the aggression and abilities normally kept under tight control took over.

“No,” I have to admit, “it doesn’t help…but maybe you can give yourself a break. It wasn’t something you’d have done if it weren’t for the armbands, right?”

His pillow rustles, he’s nodding - and forgetting I can’t see him.

“Right,” I grin. “So just think of it like a really big drunk - like that …” I almost say like the sarcophagus before I catch myself, but he knows what I didn’t say.

“Yeah…you’re right….Thanks, Jack, that really helps…”

I toss a pillow across at him. Smart ass….

“You know what I mean. How many times in your life have you been called names by jerks like that?”

Small hesitation. “A lot.”

“So how many times since you started working here?” Meaning since Teal’c and I have worked so hard to give him the muscles and know-how to defend himself against the bad guys.

“A lot.”

Ouch. Sorry.

“So how many times have you actually done something about it. Physically, I mean.” Because I know Daniel has the ability to verbally slice and dice any of us if he’s so inclined, been there and done it - don’t want a repeat performance any time in the next millennium.

“None, I’d never….”

Yes, sir - who’s says you can’t teach a genius?

He’s grinning, I can hear it in the soft exhalation of breath, almost feel it as his body relaxes.

“Got it, Jack.” There’s a long pause and a breath as he settles into the cot. “Good night.”

“Night, Daniel…” I lie back myself with a sigh and a jerk as I realize he’s still got my pillow. Listening carefully I hear his breathing settle out into sleep. Ah, hell, let him keep it. Not worth fighting about.

*Fin*